Flirting no longer a problem (update)

[SS MAYFLOAT]

Some of you know that I'm a happy married man. Out of the many marriages, I have never been unfaithful. Actually I look down on those that do.

Here is the problem. I've gotten older and the younger women do look tempting. I always have had the ability to let the "come on" comments go in one ear and out the other. Playing dumb or not intrested has always worked for me.

In one of the stores that I work at, there is a young lady that is drop dead gorgeous. For the past 6 months I have done my best to show no intrest, let her know that I'm happy with my wife, and that I don't want to jeopardize my job.

Lately the conscience guys (the little angel and devil on my shoulders) have been having it out. The angel has been numerously poked and prodded with the pitch fork. He is still there doing his best to hang on and I know the angel has the power to kick the flirting devil off my shoulder.

Its getting rough to deal with this problem. I have plenty of opportunities to cheat on my wife, but I know my wife trusts me. I know if I break that trust, our marriage will be done with.

I just wish this girl would move on and quit getting me to think with the wrong part of my anatomy. The other employees see what she is doing and it is not what I like. Guess one could say it is sexual harassment, but I don't want to take it any further............even if she is gorgeous:'(

Ohhhhh give me the strength,,,,,,,,,I don't want to ruin what I have. Just makes me wonder why some don't care about the respect for a marriage. Did I say she is gorgeous?

 

[Ron G]

Re: Flirting maybe leading to a problem

Re: Flirting maybe leading to a problem

No need in worrying its part of life stay straight and true,nothing wrong with looking it's only natural,since i've been married alot of attractive women have come on to me and are really flirty.when i was single i could'nt find a women like this no were.i know there's alot of tempation but a good marriage is more important than a fling.it's really a catch 22 because if you blow her off it's going to make her come on to you more,theres a fine line there we as men have to walk,walk straight and good luck.

 

[Elmer Fudge]

Re: Flirting maybe leading to a problem

Re: Flirting maybe leading to a problem

I don't see a problem at all, either you do or you don't.
If ya don't, nothing turns a woman off faster than saying things like " you're too fat or i just don't find you attractive".
You lucky ba$t*rd you:devil::devil:

 

[RetNav]

Re: Flirting maybe leading to a problem

Re: Flirting maybe leading to a problem

SS, if you think of all the consequences of engaging in anything with this georgeous woman, I'll bet she won't be so georgeous.
I am with you on the never cheating thing, if I wasn't completely happy with my partner I wouldn't stay with her.

 

[Fishin' Jeff]

Re: Flirting maybe leading to a problem

Re: Flirting maybe leading to a problem

Politely tell her what you've told us.

When it happens to me, i hold up my left hand, smile, and say "Thanks, but no thanks".

If these don't work, flat out tell her that you have no time for "girls like her".

I strongly honor the committment of marraige have have absolutely NO RESPECT for cheaters.

-Just my two cents

 

[RetNav]

Re: Flirting maybe leading to a problem

Re: Flirting maybe leading to a problem

SS, Now that I am retired it seems like every few days I get a job offer. I am not interested.

Some women are like that, just as Ron G stated. I have always believed "if she will cheat with you she will cheat on you".

Not preaching, just giving something to think about.

 

[RetNav]

Re: Flirting maybe leading to a problem

Re: Flirting maybe leading to a problem

SS,
Here is two reasons I don't engage in cheating. Look into those pretty brown eyes and all other thoughts go away.

Edited by RetNav

 

[Fly Rod]

Re: Flirting maybe leading to a problem

Re: Flirting maybe leading to a problem

1st: U have to weigh the pros and cons of your present marriage and for U to be thinking of swaying there must be some cons in your present marriage!!!!

2nd: There is nothing wrong with flirting as long as U know your limits!!!! i flirt with a half dozen ladies, but that is all it is, my wife comes first!!!!

3rd: The most inportant thing to remember is "We may think it is better in the other persons yard till we get there!!!8)8)

 

[KRS]

Re: Flirting maybe leading to a problem

Re: Flirting maybe leading to a problem

Don't flirt with her, don't even speak with her.

Get your job done and go on with life.

It would be easy to blame it on the devil on your shoulder, but we (most of us here) are adults
and know that if we do it, it's our fault.

Life is full of distractions, and it takes a strong man to stay on task (love your wife, raise your family, winterize your boat, fish alot, etc).

 

[jtexas]

Re: Flirting maybe leading to a problem

Re: Flirting maybe leading to a problem

Just cause you've made your purchase don't mean you can't look at the catalogue.

don't worry about it...you're not really even tempted...you've reached the same conclusion I have...how good could it be...not possibly good enough to jeopardize what you've got.

Just don't get drunk with her!

 

[SS MAYFLOAT]

Re: Flirting maybe leading to a problem

Re: Flirting maybe leading to a problem

#1 of Flyrods reply boosted my brains cells to thinking why would I even consider the thought of cheating. Its not me, never have and why should I start now? I posted in Gary's post about letting a relationship getting boring. I think that is why my mind and conscience got to wondering. My wife works weekends now, goes to school in the evenings, and I work, come home and work on the boat. Last year the boat was docked, we spent every weekend together on it. Life then was not boring as this season is.

KRS, its sorta impossible not to speak to her but I will keep everything work related as I have done so far. I'm only in the store for short brief periods of time to make repairs. Some jobs take several hours while others take just a few minuets.

I truely love my wife and very proud of her accomplishments of the 9 years of our marriage. I know what I have and its not worth giving up. Thinking the thought of the hurt that my wife would endure is enough for me to stay faithful. BTDT and didn't like it when it happened to me 3 times. From my past experience, the only one that benefits from diviorce is attorneys.

That girl just needs to learn what a cold shoulder is and move on.

Thanks for the replys,,,,,it really shook my reality tree.

Mz Mayfloat, if you happen to read this, I will gladly talk it over dinner with you.(your choice of place)........Sorry I had temptation, but it made me realize that your the best friend/wife I could ever have.

Yeah, guys,,,,,,,she's a lurker....8)

 

[heycods]

Re: Flirting maybe leading to a problem

Re: Flirting maybe leading to a problem

Sure wish that would happen to me. I would turn her down in a heartbeat, but its sure good on the ego.d Wife was hit on at the grocery store yesterdayd. She thought I should be wizzed, I just had to take it as a compliment to my good taste.

 

[Ron G]

Re: Flirting maybe leading to a problem

Re: Flirting maybe leading to a problem

Thats right on heycods...
on a lighter note ss maybe you could carry gary to work with ya here soon:devil:

 

[JRJ2]

Re: Flirting maybe leading to a problem

Re: Flirting maybe leading to a problem

You may have the sugar daddy look How many marriages are many:/ Just curious. Carry on.

 

[rosco_59]

Re: Flirting maybe leading to a problem

Re: Flirting maybe leading to a problem

The way i look at this is you are either in love with you wife and do not want to loose what you have or you are a cheater. I have been down this road with my x wife and have no respect at all for a cheater. Just do what you are going to do and do not play with it. Just remember you are playing with more then just your happiness.

 

[treedancer]

Re: Flirting maybe leading to a problem

Re: Flirting maybe leading to a problem

Eat about two bowls of beans, be sure not to swallow any beano tablets before eating said beans and abut two hours later invite her two have a cup of coffee with you, nature will take its course.
P.S. it will speed things up if the coffee is drink in an enclosed area.

 

[SS MAYFLOAT]

Re: Flirting maybe leading to a problem

Re: Flirting maybe leading to a problem

My neighbor is someone like JB, wise and full of knowledge. I told him what was up and he laughed at me. He explained that with me talking about it indicates that no way that I'll follow through with it.

His reason is the cheaters rule "NO KISS AND NO TELL",,,,,,,,,,according to him, there may not be a kiss, but I'm telling whats going on. For one to cheat, they won't endulge in giving that information to anyone for the fear of the consequences.

The movie Fatal Attraction started popping into my mind as well. Then with this girl being of child bearing age, I don't even need to risk 18 years of child support for a one night stand. Another consequence that I would have to face would be my own guilt. Guilt is something that I never could hide.

I'm just a few days shy of turning 50 (the 10th) and have a perfect record of being faithful. I think staying on my course of being faithful will be more rewarding on my calling day.

Another consequence that crossed my mind is the destruction of the family tree that my wife and I have grown. 8 grandkids and #9 will be arriving in January. That my friends is the spice of life that is worth more than a one night stand with anyone.

I'm flattered by the girls advances towards me, but I just cannot and will not follow through. Its just not worth it!

 

[rottenray6402]

Re: Flirting maybe leading to a problem

Re: Flirting maybe leading to a problem

SS, take it from someone that has given away more furniture than Bob Barker to ex wives that it is not worth it. I have strayed in the past and everyone pays a heavy price for it both emotionally and financially. A girl like that probably uses this as a game and if you did do anything would use you for a while and then go on to her next victim leaving you to try and put the pieces or your's, your wife's, and all of your families lives back together. If she is coming onto you knowing you are married she must be a game player. If sshe is that good looking and chasing married guys there is a problem somewhere.:%

 

[JamesCoste]

Re: Flirting maybe leading to a problem

Re: Flirting maybe leading to a problem

I have been married for 12 years. I will admit that when a woman is flirtatious toward me, it is flattering. It is good to know that you still "have it". It doesn't' take them long to realize that I am committed to my family and my God. I made a commitment to God and to my wife to stay married.

Here is how I stay committed:
1. First, I make certain that I stay in fellowship with God. This entails regularly reading my Bible (to remind myself of what is right and what is wrong and for encouragement) and to talk to God to see if I am living a life pleasing to Him.
2. I make certain that my wife feels loved and appreciated. As long as she feels loved at home, she won't be tempted to look elsewhere. This is more than a physical love - it can be acts of kindness, words of encouragement, gift giving, etc.
3. My wife makes certain that I, too, feel loved. When my needs (physical and emotional) are being met, I could care less what another woman has to offer.

When it comes to lust, there is a lie straight from hell that says you can "look at the menu, as long as you don't order".

The Bible is clear in Matthew 5:28, "But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart."
Most affairs start out with "innocent" looking and flirting and lusting.

1 Corinthians 6:18 tells us to "Flee fornication". We aren't supposed to fight it, but to run away.

SS Mayfloat - RUN! o

 

[vipzach]

Re: Flirting maybe leading to a problem

Re: Flirting maybe leading to a problem

SS, you need to flat out tell the girl to STOP! I realize that it great knowing that you "still got it," but if it is affecting your work then it also needs to be reported to a supervisor if she won't quit "sexually harassing" you. That is exactly what it is. If she knows you are married and is still coming on to you, then she is harrassing you. I know you probably don't want to tattle on her, but if she is that desperate for you, then she could file it on you! I do some of the ethics training stuff for my job and this is the kind of story that we here about, what the "pyscho" did. Be careful and stay away from her. My other advice would be to go ahead and tell your wife!