The Purina Diet

Dave Abrahamson

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Joined
May 8, 2003
Messages
1,497
I used to have a Labrador retriever & was buying a large bag of Purina at
Wal-Mart, waiting in the check-out line. A woman behind me asked if I had a
dog. On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again,
although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last
time. But, I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward
with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it
works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one
or two every time you feel hungry, as the food is nutritionally complete.
So, I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story, especially a tall heavy man behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned being on the diet the first time. I told her no; I'd been sitting in the street cleaning my *&!!s (use your imagination) and a car hit me.

The tall guy nearly had to stagger out of the store, oxygen-depleted from
laughter. I paid for the food and left a lot of smiles behind me.
 

JB

Honorary Moderator Emeritus
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Mar 25, 2001
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45,907
Re: The Purina Diet

Me, too, Dave. Had to wipe away the tears to write this. 8)8)8)
 

Bob_VT

Moderator & Unofficial iBoats Historian
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May 19, 2001
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Re: The Purina Diet

8)8)8)
 

Fishin' Jeff

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Nov 13, 2005
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Re: The Purina Diet

8)
Great story, Dave!
Ask a stupid question, get a total line of funny stuff!
 

aspeck

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May 29, 2003
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19,100
Re: The Purina Diet

Bad Dave, Bad! 8)

LOL! Too funny!
 

Reel Poor

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Re: The Purina Diet

Now Dave,,,,,,,That right there is hilarious. :p
 
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