ricksrster
Commander
- Joined
- Jun 19, 2005
- Messages
- 2,022
My niece sent this to me.
News Report
----- NEW YORK ----- A public school teacher was arrested today at John
F. Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in
possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule, and a
calculator.
At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto Gonzalez said he
believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. He did not
identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of
math instruction.
"Al-gebra is a problem for us," Gonzalez said. "They desire solutions
by
means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute
value. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to
themselves
as 'unknowns,' but we have determined they belong to a common denominator
of
the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek
philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There are 3 sides to every triangle.''
When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had
wanted us to have better Weapons of Math Instruction, He would have given us
more fingers and toes." White House aides told reporters they could not
recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the president.
News Report
----- NEW YORK ----- A public school teacher was arrested today at John
F. Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in
possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule, and a
calculator.
At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto Gonzalez said he
believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. He did not
identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of
math instruction.
"Al-gebra is a problem for us," Gonzalez said. "They desire solutions
by
means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute
value. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to
themselves
as 'unknowns,' but we have determined they belong to a common denominator
of
the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek
philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There are 3 sides to every triangle.''
When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had
wanted us to have better Weapons of Math Instruction, He would have given us
more fingers and toes." White House aides told reporters they could not
recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the president.
