Can you believe this?

[Pony]

Re: Can you believe this?

so what your saying is that when your kids were concived. you never ever thought i hope its a boy i hope it looks like its mom. nothing i hope its heathy?
unless thay asked your wife for a egg it's not your concern.

I agree

 

[RubberFrog]

Re: Can you believe this?

...you want your child to be a sheep? To the be same, colorless, and bland....

So I assume you adopted a couple of black kids?

 

[valkyr]

Re: Can you believe this?

so what your saying is that when your kids were concived. you never ever thought i hope its a boy i hope it looks like its mom. nothing i hope its heathy?
unless thay asked your wife for a egg it's not your concern.

No thats not what I'm saying. I absolutely hoped he/she would be healthy. I absolutely hoped they would look like me or my wife. I absolutely hope they will be attractive and smart. Don't confuse the issue here.

Wanting the best for my child and actually manipulating the factors that go into making someone who they are are two totally different and separate things.

 

[valkyr]

Re: Can you believe this?

So I assume you adopted a couple of black kids?

I assume thats humor? Otherwise I don't get it. As I haven't adopted and the sheep is a metaphor for people who follow the crowd and live life outside 'the fire' so to speak. Nothing to do with race.

 

[valkyr]

Re: Can you believe this?

I feel like I am in church...and this is a sermon.

I was gonna say something, but you stated it in a much nicer manner.....​

How is this relevant? I'm not bashing either of you as I have a lot of respect for both of you and what you bring to this board. But if you're going to chime in, at least post something meaningful please.

 

[Haut Medoc]

Re: Can you believe this?

OK, I'll bite......
If ya can't have kids & ya can choose how they would hopefully come out, why not make a calculated effort?.....
Why not chhose someone that looks like you & not the mailman?...

This applies to future wives as well.....
Want to see what she will look like in 20 years?.....
Check out the future MIL........

I seee no problem with selective breeding, it is what makes supereior human beings, not mongrels......​

 

[RubberFrog]

Re: Can you believe this?

Quote:
Originally Posted by RubberFrog
So I assume you adopted a couple of black kids?

I assume thats humor? Otherwise I don't get it. As I haven't adopted and the sheep is a metaphor for people who follow the crowd and live life outside 'the fire' so to speak. Nothing to do with race.

Hey bro, you're the one being all high-and-mighty and self righteous. Remember, we're supposed to be diverse and accepting. You yourself said you didn't want your kids to be the same as you- "you want your child to be a sheep? To the be same, colorless, and bland. That perhaps is the most dangerous social norm of all - that its not acceptable to be different."

So put your lifestyle where your mouth is- go adopt a few black kids or maybe some iraqi orphans. Show us how much you're ok with your kids not looking like you.

If I put an ad saying I want a white donor, is that bad? Should I just take any old egg that gets thrown my way? After all, I should be willing to accept an egg from some 80 IQ crack ho that looks nothing like me. That's how you would do it, right? Oh wait, you don't need a donor so you can sit back and tell everyone else how to do it.

You're trying to hide your self righteousness behind the veil of genetic manipulation. But no one here is saying they want to modify genes. It was just some poor schmuck that wants his kids to look like him.

I didn't marry some ugly hunchback troll so why would I want to accept an egg from one?

If you want to make this thread about genetic manipulation than we have an entirely different subject and I'm probably on board with you. But that's not what this thread is about. This thread is about a couple saying they would like a natural egg from someone who looks like them. That's all.

 

[Haut Medoc]

Re: Can you believe this?

Once you've had a hunchback troll there is no going back!......​

 

[valkyr]

Re: Can you believe this?

OK, I'll bite......
If ya can't have kids & ya can choose how they would hopefully come out, why not make a calculated effort?.....
Why not chhose someone that looks like you & not the mailman?...

This applies to future wives as well.....
Want to see what she will look like in 20 years?.....
Check out the future MIL........

I seee no problem with selective breeding, it is what makes supereior human beings, not mongrels......​

Thats implying I would like the child more if it looks like me instead of the mailman. Will I like the child more if its smarter? More attractive? Will I love it more or less?

We have plenty of opportunities to get what we want. We get the objects we want. TVs, Boats, Houses, mates (sometimes). Having a child should not be about what "I" want because thats selfish. And selfishness gets disappointed. Selfishness leads to frustration and anger because its not what "I want".

Thats what it all hinges on. "I want". Because if you say I want a blonde haired blue eyed child, you are effectively saying I DON'T want any other child and I'll be disappointed if thats what I get.

Does that make sense?

 

[RubberFrog]

Re: Can you believe this?

Does that make sense?

No.
I wanted my first child to be a girl. It was a boy. I love him dearly and I am not disappointed. Yo're simply projecting your values and judgements onto others.

I notice you respond to the easy posts but not the difficult ones. Feeling a little shaky in your convictions?

 

[valkyr]

Re: Can you believe this?

Hey bro, you're the one being all high-and-mighty and self righteous. Remember, we're supposed to be diverse and accepting. You yourself said you didn't want your kids to be the same as you- "you want your child to be a sheep? To the be same, colorless, and bland. That perhaps is the most dangerous social norm of all - that its not acceptable to be different."

So put your lifestyle where your mouth is- go adopt a few black kids or maybe some iraqi orphans. Show us how much you're ok with your kids not looking like you.

If I put an ad saying I want a white donor, is that bad? Should I just take any old egg that gets thrown my way? After all, I should be willing to accept an egg from some 80 IQ crack ho that looks nothing like me. That's how you would do it, right? Oh wait, you don't need a donor so you can sit back and tell everyone else how to do it.

You're trying to hide your self righteousness behind the veil of genetic manipulation. But no one here is saying they want to modify genes. It was just some poor schmuck that wants his kids to look like him.

I didn't marry some ugly hunchback troll so why would I want to accept an egg from one?

If you want to make this thread about genetic manipulation than we have an entirely different subject and I'm probably on board with you. But that's not what this thread is about. This thread is about a couple saying they would like a natural egg from someone who looks like them. That's all.

RF - I am not being self righteous. If I've come across that way it was never my intent. And I apologize right now to anyone that feels that way.

Ok to get this thread back on track then.

Getting back to my original topic then, it bothers me that people want to become parents BUT only to a certain "look".

Would you not agree that its self-centered to limit egg donors to only individuals that fit a certain profile?

 

[Haut Medoc]

Re: Can you believe this?

Makes sense to me......
I would rather my child looked like me than the mailman......
When you have kids with someone there is a certain expectation that they will look like at least one of you.....
I think it was Aristotle that said mothers loved their children more than fathers, because they knew they were theirs.....
I guess we will have to agree to disagree.......​

 

[valkyr]

Re: Can you believe this?

No.
I wanted my first child to be a girl. It was a boy. I love him dearly and I am not disappointed. Yo're simply projecting your values and judgements onto others.

I notice you respond to the easy posts but not the difficult ones. Feeling a little shaky in your convictions?

Geez give a guy time to respond

Let me ask you this. Did you really want your first child to be a girl? Really? Deep down? Be brutally honest.

Not shaky in my convictions in the least. And if there's a particular post or question I've neglected to address please clarify.

 

[RubberFrog]

Re: Can you believe this?

Let me ask you this. Did you really want your first child to be a girl? Really? Deep down? Be brutally honest.

Ummm... yeah... did you think I was lying?

 

[RubberFrog]

Re: Can you believe this?

RF - I am not being self righteous. If I've come across that way it was never my intent. And I apologize right now to anyone that feels that way.

No need to apologize for your beliefs. I don't apologize for mine.
...

Getting back to my original topic then, it bothers me that people want to become parents BUT only to a certain "look".

I absolutely do not get why it bothers you.

Would you not agree that its self-centered to limit egg donors to only individuals that fit a certain profile?

No, I would not agree. If your wife needed an egg, would accept the first one offered? Even if it was from a hunchbacked crack ho with an 80 IQ, 12 toes, facial warts, genetic diarrhea and syphillis? Be brutally honest....

 

[valkyr]

Re: Can you believe this?

Ummm... yeah... did you think I was lying?

Then I submit to you (very respectfully) that if you weren't disappointed that it was a boy, then you are lying to yourself about how much you really wanted a girl.

1.) You cannot truly want A and get B and not be disappointed. You can think you want A more than B, but deep down you really wanted EITHER A or B.

or
2.) you really were disappointed that it was B. Those are the only two options.

 

[valkyr]

Re: Can you believe this?

No need to apologize for your beliefs. I don't apologize for mine.
...

Please be careful, I didn't apologize for my beliefs. I did apologize if I came across as arrogant and self righteous. Just splitting hairs here a little but wanted to clarify.

No, I would not agree. If your wife needed an egg, would accept the first one offered? Even if it was from a hunchbacked crack ho with an 80 IQ, 12 toes, facial warts, genetic diarrhea and syphillis? Be brutally honest....

Well thats a little extreme don't you think? The anonymous couple limited it to superficial traits. The crack addict and low IQ I don't have a problem with. The toes and warts I don't have a problem with. The genetic diarrhea I'd probably have a problem with if it existed. Is that genetic syphillis? I think I'd have a problem with that one too.

However, chances are, I wouldn't dig into the background of the donor that much anyway. I'd like to think (STRESS like to think) I'd be happy to have the chance to be a parent.

 

[RubberFrog]

Re: Can you believe this?

Those are the only two options in your world. My world is not that binary.

I rejoiced and thanked the Lord for my wonderful baby and never had second thoughts. My baby was a gift from God and I love him for who he is. Who are you to judge my feelings toward my child? You have never met me and yet you presume to evaluate my love for my children? This is a recurring theme of yours to evaluate peoples true feelings regarding their children.

I feel sad for your kids because it sounds like whenever they don't do what you want/expect you feel great disappointment in them. Try to simply hope for the best and accept the rest.

No disrespect intended here, but you pass off some pretty big judgements that are way beyond your place in this universe.

 

[RubberFrog]

Re: Can you believe this?

Well thats a little extreme don't you think? The anonymous couple limited it to superficial traits. The crack addict and low IQ I don't have a problem with. The toes and warts I don't have a problem with. The genetic diarrhea I'd probably have a problem with if it existed. Is that genetic syphillis? I think I'd have a problem with that one too.

So now you define what is superficial versus what is extreme? I find your willingness to accept and egg from a low IQ crack addict to be disingenuous.

However, chances are, I wouldn't dig into the background of the donor that much anyway. I'd like to think (STRESS like to think) I'd be happy to have the chance to be a parent.

You may like to think that but I doubt you would actually like it.

 

[Limited-Time]

Re: Can you believe this?

valkyr,

To the extent any one can "pick" their offspring's looks, you "picked" the way your children would look when you picked your wife. Everyone does. It's not like the couple is hoping for a child that's any different than the one they would "have" if they could have. In see no issue there.