Re: Someone turned me in (aaaargh)
Re: Someone turned me in (aaaargh)
LOL LOL very good ZmOz.
I had a nasty neighbor who hasseled me fer a few years, doin' all sorts of irritating stuff, n' we were *** fer tat never actualy causin' real trouble for either party.
Finally, two of my very small kids, (I would put on the kids bike helmets) next to his yard, n' the two small kids, (five years old) after gettin' their helmets on ran up on his lawn and he did not know I was standing behind the bushes getting helmets on my other kids.
He came running out of his front poarch YELLING: I'M CALLING THE COPS ON YOU!! Acting real tough n' mean, (my son is deaf, n' my step son could hear him yell). He chased the boys towards me yard n' I stepped out right in his face, (bein' carefull not to step off the public sidewalk) n' got about a 1/2 inch off his nose n' said: "yer a real tough guy when ya scare little kids, care to take it up with me?" He sized me up n' could see I was serious and I then told him, (he was a pipe smoker with very brown teeth), that his "tooth brush wasn't makin' it".
One of my buddies told me to pick a true personal aspect to hurl an insult ya want to stick for a very long time, (as the other person knows they have that trait). We did not come to blows, and he had to slink back to his house and we never had confrontations again. JR
LMAO at both!
I'm a live and let live type of person , UNTILL you deliberately antagonize me , OR , decide you need to mind MY business for me .
Yank my chain and you will find it is very short .
The neighborhood busybodies learned to find someone else's business to mind , after a few rounds with me .
Being the evil creative SOB that I am , I can visit grief beyond imagination upon anyone foolish/stupid enough to trifle with me .
I once had a nieghbor that made OldMercs neighbor look "laid back" .
This goon was beyond all reason with his complaining .
He had a very nice house with an IMMACULATE lawn , a pretty white picket fence surounding the whole affair.
He would run into the street , yelling at people to slow down , even if they were going BELOW the posted limit , and ,called the cops at least a dozen times a day .
I had a birds-eye view of his antics , and , was close enough to hear every word .
If anyone was walking by his house on the sidewalk , he would threaten them with prosecution "if you put so much as a toe on my grass!" .
Of course , he went absolutely insane every 4th of July , having Poloroid cameras ready , along with a video camera , to provide the cops with "evidence" if he saw ANYONE lighting fireworks .
The final straw for me was when he SCREAMED at this neighborhood kid , frightening the boy to TEARS !
I covered the 100 yards downhill at a blistering speed , and , stopped beside the kid . I told the kid he was ok ,walking him back to his house as I was greeted by a dozen , HIGHLY PO'd relatives .
The mother and 2 aunts walked the child home , while I accompanied the father , 1 aunt , 5 uncles ,and , 3 older brothers , back to Hitlers Lair .
Hitler had run for cover when he saw me approach the first time , but ,had decided the coast was clear when I took the kid back toward home .
Fortunately for Hitler , the cops arrived in time to defuse our lynch mob , and , took Hitler into custody for questioning .
No charges were filed , and , the looney kept a very low profile for all of a month .
After a month , he was back to his old self , forgetting that I was watching him .
Remember his behaviour in reaction to fireworks?
The incident with the boy happened at the end of May....
About the end of June I began my campaign .
I called the local zoning board to complain about the number of signs on his property .
He had NO TRESPASSING signs on his fence about every 6' .
He was ordered to take them down , which , he ignored , and , got a sizable fine !
He took them down , finally , so "someone" put up MORE signs on his behalf !
Another complaint was filed , and , another fine was issued .
Hitler removed these new signs .
Somehow , "someone" painted "no trespassing" every 4' on his nice white picket fence , in bright red .
OOPS , BIG FINE and a COURT SUMMONS !
Fine paid after a STEARN speech from the judge (friend of mine , as was the local zoning enfocement guy ..).
In the mean time , "someone "
infiltrated his garage and "enhanced" his bags of fertilizer with Spike (kills everything,especially trees and woody plants...).
"Someone" also charged his sprinkler system with Round-up concentrate .
His vinyl siding began to melt and sag(large concave mirrors are FUN !).
Then came the "phantom cows" !
It seems "someone" also had a friend who raised cattle .
This "someone" managed to aquire several 5 gallon buckets of fresh cow manure .
This same "someone" fertillized Hitler's lawn while he slept .
Hitler awoke to find a veritable minefield of fresh "pies" ,scattered about his lawn .
Hitler finally managed to have a detective show up , and , a fruitless search for the renegade bovines ensued , TURNING UP NOT SO MUCH AS A SINGLE HOOF PRINT !
"Someones" room mates were musicians , so they had a HUGE stack of amps that would play cattle mooing , at INSANE volumes , at random times ,through out the wee hours of the morning , enticing Hitler to grab a flashlight , phone , and , a camera , in a vain attempt to record the "stampede" .
By this time , his lawn was turning brown , his trees were wilting HORRIBLY , and ,it was the weekend of the 4th .
His credibillty with the cops being long gone , along with the final shreds of his sanity , ( as Hitler had not slept in almost a week ) , the neighborhood released it's long smoldering HATRED upon this wretched fool .
A sustained assault of every firework imaginable was launched in his direction .
Hitler had a camera in 1 hand , a phone in the other ,and was spinning like a dervish in a vain attempt to record the asault , while , on HOLD with 911 .
The cops somehow never showed .
Hitler finally passed out in his yard , only to awaken in a room with padded walls , where he spent many days heavily medicated .
His house went up for sale immediately after this , and , was sold within a week.
This despite the brown yard , melted siding , and , dead trees and shrubs .
To my knowledge , Hitler never showed his face in this area , ever again .
