Didn't know we had to fight to buy for someone's Christmas

[wildmaninal]

You all ever have a fight over who's buying who what for Christmas or a Birthday. I sent an e-mail to my brother to tell him what all I have bought our mother for Christmas and I must say it isn't much wished I had more ideas on what to get her. He replied to the e-mail saying

"well i guess since you got her everything i will have to find something else to get her , any suggestions".

I replied back to let him know that there is more on the list and went over what was left on the list to buy if he wanted to. Each of us my brother and I each have the same list of what mom wants for Christmas. There is still more on the list to be reviewed and to consider buying. If he wants to give her one or all of my gifts that I have bought for her then he can pay me for it where I can afford to buy something else for her. Sounds like my brother is being a horses a** to me. Am I missing something here, I was opened to what I have bought her and I dogged out for it . He lives in another county, there isn't much of a choice on where to shop where they live. I told him that if they are down in my area shopping for mom let me know if it's OK I would meet up with them to share ideas. The worst thing is that my mother's birthday is on the 19th. I have spoke to my sis n law sense the e-mail and she was nice about everything. They haven't swapped or told me what they got for her either until recently and that was about one item so I am just sitting in the dark for real. Nice lack of communication we have isn't it?

 

[SpinnerBait_Nut]

Re: Didn't know we had to fight to buy for someone's Christmas

Get her what you want and don't worry about it. If she gets double, she can take one back and get what she wants.
Don't argue over stuff like this.
My kids do that all the time. Get the wife and I the same things, they know we will take whatever back and get what we want and there is n/p.
It's just that we are hard to buy for cause we don't want anything.
Just the way we are.

 

[wildmaninal]

Re: Didn't know we had to fight to buy for someone's Christmas

Get her what you want and don't worry about it. If she gets double, she can take one back and get what she wants.
Don't argue over stuff like this.
My kids do that all the time. Get the wife and I the same things, they know we will take whatever back and get what we want and there is n/p.
It's just that we are hard to buy for cause we don't want anything.
Just the way we are.

I hear ya SBN, thanks for the input. That's is one way to look at it, but it would be my luck that my older brother would dog me out over getting the same thing. LOL I know my mother isn't the type that doesn't want anything, but what she wants is not much, I just want to bring her some joy and happiness and try to give her a good Christmas.

My mother normally goes all out on buying Christmas, she is just that type of person. Until my layoff (bummer) from the job a few months back I would go all out buying for Christmas also. My brother and I are in the same boat where we can't afford all that much now adays. I guess that is one reason he is being like he is. The worst thing is some gift that you give can't be brought back, I guess that's where she would sell it or whatever.

 

[SS MAYFLOAT]

Re: Didn't know we had to fight to buy for someone's Christmas

Back when my parents were still around, my brother and sisters would do the same thing. Being the one at home under their roof with no job or money, it made it hard to compete with the others. I always found a way to come out on top. Sometimes I would put together a family photo album, or a picture with small pictures of all the kids and grandkids. One year I took all their 8mm films and had them put on VHS. That one everyone enjoyed since I also gave copies to the rest of the family.

IMO Christmas has been soured by the changing of tradition such as the Ho Ho Ho's from Santa, Holiday Season vs Christmas, Holiday tree, and the push to buy buy buy. I'm finding it hard to get into the spirit for each passing year. Sorry to sound like a humbug.

Good luck on working out your problem Wild one...........SS

 

[tashasdaddy]

Re: Didn't know we had to fight to buy for someone's Christmas

never had that problem. we bought what we wanted. now we have set a $ limit of $30.00. so you have to be creative. this year I combined my sister and bil's gift, bought them a hammock, Fl Gator pez dispenser for her, and Fl State pez dispenser for him, as they are the house divided. the kids are all grown, and they have to live with the $30.00 limit also. no grandkids yet to spend on and spoil. and our parents are in heaven.

 

[arboldt]

Re: Didn't know we had to fight to buy for someone's Christmas

I've been the maverick in my family -- due to jobs, I've never been able to live close to my folks. So if my sisters or brother had an idea or suggestion I'd be very appreciative. Often they'd offer to get something "from me" to give to her, and I'd be doubly appreciative. And even more so since I *hate* to shop.

Can't really tell the sound of voice from your brother, but have you asked him if he would like to reimburse you for one/some of those gifts? Be conciliatory, now. It's too easy to read friction, irritation, and competition into a sibling when offering to share can resolve a lot. Approach him on a loving basis, not competitive.

Others have also mentioned gifts you don't necessarily buy. Depending on your mom's age and situation, those can actually be treasured more. I can't do much for my 85-year-old mom from 4 states away, but she also says I'm the only one that calls her regularly for 1 - 1 1/2 hours at a time. That's almost as much weekly contact as my sister that lives 3 miles from her.

 

[i386]

Re: Didn't know we had to fight to buy for someone's Christmas

We have a similar situation but no fight associated with it. Her sister (w/two boys) isn't as well off as we are. I don't consider us well off, but compared to her family we probably have 4 times their income. There are things they just can't afford for their kids and kids don't understand that. So there are things that we buy for them but they think either their parents or Santa brought it. At least that's what we've done in the past. Things will be different this year but that's a whole 'nother story.

 

[tashasdaddy]

Re: Didn't know we had to fight to buy for someone's Christmas

what's worse is grand parents one that is well off, and the others not so well off. the well off ones pouring toys and gifts. and not consulting the childs parents. we finally had to tell them, they had to get permission from us, as to what they gave.

 

[Barnacle_Bill]

Re: Didn't know we had to fight to buy for someone's Christmas

Back when my parents were still around, my brother and sisters would do the same thing. Being the one at home under their roof with no job or money, it made it hard to compete with the others. I always found a way to come out on top. Sometimes I would put together a family photo album, or a picture with small pictures of all the kids and grandkids. One year I took all their 8mm films and had them put on VHS. That one everyone enjoyed since I also gave copies to the rest of the family.

IMO Christmas has been soured by the changing of tradition such as the Ho Ho Ho's from Santa, Holiday Season vs Christmas, Holiday tree, and the push to buy buy buy. I'm finding it hard to get into the spirit for each passing year. Sorry to sound like a humbug.

Good luck on working out your problem Wild one...........SS

Well put! Its been many years since I've had any xmas spirit. Probably since my 3 boys grew up.

 

[wildmaninal]

Re: Didn't know we had to fight to buy for someone's Christmas

Back when my parents were still around, my brother and sisters would do the same thing. Being the one at home under their roof with no job or money, it made it hard to compete with the others. I always found a way to come out on top. Sometimes I would put together a family photo album, or a picture with small pictures of all the kids and grandkids. One year I took all their 8mm films and had them put on VHS. That one everyone enjoyed since I also gave copies to the rest of the family. IMO Christmas has been soured by the changing of tradition such as the Ho Ho Ho's from Santa, Holiday Season vs Christmas, Holiday tree, and the push to buy buy buy. I'm finding it hard to get into the spirit for each passing year. Sorry to sound like a humbug.
Good luck on working out your problem Wild one...........SS

Sorry had to do a multi quote. That is a great idea on the pictures and 8mm film. My mother didn't make a photo album by any mean for my sis n laws birthday last month but mom made some pictures for her off of her computer for a trip that they took out to Texas. Honestly I haven't forgotten the main reason for Christmas, but I have really I'm not in the spirit of giving or swapping gifts for some reason.

never had that problem. we bought what we wanted. now we have set a $ limit of $30.00. so you have to be creative. this year I combined my sister and bil's gift, bought them a hammock, Fl Gator pez dispenser for her, and Fl State pez dispenser for him, as they are the house divided. the kids are all grown, and they have to live with the $30.00 limit also. no grandkids yet to spend on and spoil. and our parents are in heaven.

That's what we need to start doing for real is set limits, but I doubt it will work lol. My mother spends hundreds of dollars a piece on me, my brother, and his wife that is not counting the nieces.

Can't really tell the sound of voice from your brother, but have you asked him if he would like to reimburse you for one/some of those gifts? Be conciliatory, now. It's too easy to read friction, irritation, and competition into a sibling when offering to share can resolve a lot. Approach him on a loving basis, not competitive.

Trust me my brother has to take pills to calm him down, if he didn't he would be 20 x worse then what he said in the reply e-mail. I haven't asked yet if wanted to reimburse me for any of it but I am thinking about it.

 

[wildmaninal]

Re: Didn't know we had to fight to buy for someone's Christmas

We have a similar situation but no fight associated with it. Her sister (w/two boys) isn't as well off as we are. I don't consider us well off, but compared to her family we probably have 4 times their income. There are things they just can't afford for their kids and kids don't understand that. So there are things that we buy for them but they think either their parents or Santa brought it. At least that's what we've done in the past. Things will be different this year but that's a whole 'nother story.

Yep must be getting out of the Santa stage I assume . I hear ya I386, I believe some of the family members have done that in the past also.

what's worse is grand parents one that is well off, and the others not so well off. the well off ones pouring toys and gifts. and not consulting the childs parents. we finally had to tell them, they had to get permission from us, as to what they gave.

Both of the grand parents are well off around here (my mom and my brother father n law), my father doesn't get involved with visiting my brother's house due to other reasons (my brother) which is sad.

These nieces of mine would receive the world from there grand parents if they would give it to them. I believe they are done spoiled. Which isn't always good.

 

[beerrun]

Re: Didn't know we had to fight to buy for someone's Christmas

With all my brothers and sisters scattered about the country(13 of us) its hard to get everything figured out but we spend alot of time on the phone consulting and planning. We do alot of "going in on gifts" . Mom and Pops are so hard to buy for because they dont want anything. They are in a position now that if they want something they will go buy it. Last year we got them a GPS and a digital photo frame. When we go in on gifts we can get them better quality stuff instead of clutter for the house. Mostly we just do the kids which is alot in itself.(27 nieces and nephews). Our big thing has been trying to get everybody flown into one place for Christmas and then figuring out where everyone will sleep. Its a blast. It gets very loud with everyone talking at once.Especially once the Christmas cheer gets flowing. Anyway, just enjoy each other. Gifts really dont matter that much. If you 2 dont stop fighting I am so telling Mom!!

 

[thefairlaneman]

Re: Didn't know we had to fight to buy for someone's Christmas

my answer is :gift certificates.......to home depot

 

[ANIMAL]

Re: Didn't know we had to fight to buy for someone's Christmas

4 words "gift card - Wall Mart".......ANIMAL

 

[wildmaninal]

Re: Didn't know we had to fight to buy for someone's Christmas

I hear yawl . I've done the gift card thing a few times in the past for mom and pop, this year I thought I would do strictly "packaged gifts". But I nearly got her finished up, she literally just got through giving me one more gift idea. Expense wise I'm spending about the same on both mom and dad. If my brother and I end up getting her the same thing then oh well I guess, it will be a first though. I don't know what his problem is, no communication, I e-mail him and nothing in replied back . If he wants to raise caine if we do end up getting her the same gifts then all I got to do is simply walk away.

beerrun, it sounds like you have the same size family that my father grew up with, but nearly all the family lives close by hardly any of them live out of state.

 

[dolluper]

Re: Didn't know we had to fight to buy for someone's Christmas

Be a Man do your own thing let them buy their own sh@@@@ gift at least you bought what you thaught was best,FORGET about them live is short enough

 

[wildmaninal]

Re: Didn't know we had to fight to buy for someone's Christmas

Be a Man do your own thing let them buy their own sh@@@@ gift at least you bought what you thaught was best,FORGET about them live is short enough

I hear ya dolluper. Fortunately I have been communicating with my sis n law lately. My brother still seems to be acting "funny" about the whole darn mess. Seems like the communication between him and his own wife is screwed up also. I read an email from him asking about a certain gift then I read an email from his wife at the same time literally and by the way his wife talks in her email they don't plan on getting her what my brother just mentioned in his email......go figure . And I didn't even mention anything to his wife about what he said on the one gift idea. I about got all the shopping done if we end up getting mom the same thing and he wants to be a pain about it, like I said in an earlier post all I got to do is be a bigger man and walk off. I've done it before to him, just not durring christmas.

 

[muskyone]

Re: Didn't know we had to fight to buy for someone's Christmas

my wifes little brother told her he bought mom a easel wich he paid 30 bucks for so my wife thought it would be nice to get here some really nice paints and other stuff to go with it she spent alot in my opion she called and told him and he got all pieed off saying his came with paint and supplys

now hes not talking to her saying shes trying to upstage him

 

[wildmaninal]

Re: Didn't know we had to fight to buy for someone's Christmas

my wifes little brother told her he bought mom a easel wich he paid 30 bucks for so my wife thought it would be nice to get here some really nice paints and other stuff to go with it she spent alot in my opion she called and told him and he got all pieed off saying his came with paint and supplys

now hes not talking to her saying shes trying to upstage him

In that case you would think that you can never have enough paint and supply's for that hobby and he's going to get mad because she got some extra supplies. I take it that mom is an artist correct, I hope that I haven't misunderstood.