mudmagnet63
Petty Officer 1st Class
- Joined
- Sep 28, 2007
- Messages
- 231
I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas and an Excellent New Year. Please remember the Troops that are away this Christmas. They are the reason we have our freedom here at home.
Four Great Short Stories!
Here are a few military comebacks...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When in England at a fairly large conference, Colin Powell was asked by the
Archbishop of Canterbury if our plans for Iraq were just an example of empire
building' by George Bush.
He answered by saying, 'Over the years, the United States has sent many of its
fine young men and women into great peril to fight for freedom beyond our
borders. The only amount of land we have ever asked for in return is enough to
bury those that did not return.
It became very quiet in the room.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Then there was a conference in France where a number of international
engineers were taking part, including French and American. During a break one
of the French engineers came back into the room saying 'Have you heard the
latest dumb stunt Bush has done? He has sent an aircraft carrier to Indonesia
to help the tsunami victims. What does he intended to do, bomb them?'
A Boeing engineer stood up and replied quietly: 'Our carriers have three
hospitals on board that can treat several hundred people; they are nuclear
powered and can supply emergency electrical power to shore facilities; they
have three cafeterias with the capacity to feed 3,000 people three meals a
day, they can produce several thousand gallons of fresh water from sea water
each day, and they carry half a dozen helicopters for use in transporting
victims and injured to and from their flight deck.. We have eleven such ships;
how many does France have?'
Once again, dead silence.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A U.S. Navy Admiral was attending a naval conference that included Admirals
from the U.S., English, Canadian, Australian and French Navies. At a cocktail
reception, he found himself standing with a large group of Officers that
included personnel from most of those countries. Everyone was chatting away in
English as they sipped their drinks but a French admiral suddenly complained
that, 'whereas Europeans learn many languages, Americans learn only English.'
He then asked, 'Why is it that we always have to speak English in these
conferences rather than speaking French?'
Without hesitating, the American Admiral replied 'Maybe it's because the
Brits, Canadians, Aussies and Americans arranged it so you wouldn't have to
speak German.'
You could have heard a pin drop
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
AND THIS STORY FITS RIGHT IN WITH THE ABOVE...
A group of Americans, retired teachers, recently went to France on a tour.
Robert Whiting, an elderly gentleman of 83, arrived in Paris by plane.
At French Customs, he took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry
on. "You have been to France before, monsieur?" the customs officer asked
sarcastically.
Mr. Whiting admitted that he had been to France previously.
"Then you should know enough to have your passport ready."
The American said, "The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it."
"Impossible. Americans always have to show your passports on arrival in
France!"
The American senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look. Then he quietly
explained. "Well, when I came ashore at Omaha Beach on D-Day in '44 to help
liberate this country, I couldn't find any damn Frenchmen to show it to.
Four Great Short Stories!
Here are a few military comebacks...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When in England at a fairly large conference, Colin Powell was asked by the
Archbishop of Canterbury if our plans for Iraq were just an example of empire
building' by George Bush.
He answered by saying, 'Over the years, the United States has sent many of its
fine young men and women into great peril to fight for freedom beyond our
borders. The only amount of land we have ever asked for in return is enough to
bury those that did not return.
It became very quiet in the room.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Then there was a conference in France where a number of international
engineers were taking part, including French and American. During a break one
of the French engineers came back into the room saying 'Have you heard the
latest dumb stunt Bush has done? He has sent an aircraft carrier to Indonesia
to help the tsunami victims. What does he intended to do, bomb them?'
A Boeing engineer stood up and replied quietly: 'Our carriers have three
hospitals on board that can treat several hundred people; they are nuclear
powered and can supply emergency electrical power to shore facilities; they
have three cafeterias with the capacity to feed 3,000 people three meals a
day, they can produce several thousand gallons of fresh water from sea water
each day, and they carry half a dozen helicopters for use in transporting
victims and injured to and from their flight deck.. We have eleven such ships;
how many does France have?'
Once again, dead silence.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A U.S. Navy Admiral was attending a naval conference that included Admirals
from the U.S., English, Canadian, Australian and French Navies. At a cocktail
reception, he found himself standing with a large group of Officers that
included personnel from most of those countries. Everyone was chatting away in
English as they sipped their drinks but a French admiral suddenly complained
that, 'whereas Europeans learn many languages, Americans learn only English.'
He then asked, 'Why is it that we always have to speak English in these
conferences rather than speaking French?'
Without hesitating, the American Admiral replied 'Maybe it's because the
Brits, Canadians, Aussies and Americans arranged it so you wouldn't have to
speak German.'
You could have heard a pin drop
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
AND THIS STORY FITS RIGHT IN WITH THE ABOVE...
A group of Americans, retired teachers, recently went to France on a tour.
Robert Whiting, an elderly gentleman of 83, arrived in Paris by plane.
At French Customs, he took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry
on. "You have been to France before, monsieur?" the customs officer asked
sarcastically.
Mr. Whiting admitted that he had been to France previously.
"Then you should know enough to have your passport ready."
The American said, "The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it."
"Impossible. Americans always have to show your passports on arrival in
France!"
The American senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look. Then he quietly
explained. "Well, when I came ashore at Omaha Beach on D-Day in '44 to help
liberate this country, I couldn't find any damn Frenchmen to show it to.
