Dear (whatever) Insurance Company

[JB]

I am quite happy with the car/boat insurance I have, thank you. Though I probably pay more than you claim you would charge me I probably get better, faster service and fewer hassles getting a claim honored. So, no, I don't want to save X hundreds of bux for your bargain basement policy.

I am also quite happy with my life insurance. They still insure me even though I smoke, have survived three heart attacks, a perforated ulcer, prostate cancer and bipolar syndrome, all of those things that you either refuse to insure or want huge surcharges to insure.

I don't need "final costs" insurance, because I will not incur any "final costs". My carcass will go to a Med School for study (maybe they can figure out why I haven't been dead for the past thirty years), then be cremated and scattered on Lake Of The Woods.

My plan J Medicare supplement policy is doing just fine. I get prompt, courteous service and all claims promptly paid. Same with the plan D prescription medicine policy.

The only kind of insurance I want now is to be insured against being harrassed by you and your ilk. Do you offer such a policy?

 

[Skiuseme]

Re: Dear (whatever) Insurance Company

Its called being a hermit.




Go to the Lake of the Woods and find you self a wood hut. Cut yourself off from all communications. They will still find you so, you must move every couple of monthes.



Other than that no I dont have any clues of what to do...

 

[Bob_VT]

Re: Dear (whatever) Insurance Company

Revenge here -----------> http://officeofstrategicinfluence.com/bulkmailer/

 

[dimock44]

Re: Dear (whatever) Insurance Company

Is your letter copyrighted or can I use it too?

 

[SS MAYFLOAT]

Re: Dear (whatever) Insurance Company

Life insurance does not make you live longer,,,,,,,so what good is it? You can't collect on it anyway.....

 

[SgtMaj]

Re: Dear (whatever) Insurance Company

Got 3 policy offers in the mail today...

The thing that really gets my ire... they all want you to call them or go into their office to get the exact quote price... if they're gonna stuff my mailbox full of crap, the least they can do is give some hard numbers up front, but they don't because they know they are more expensive.

 

[JB]

Re: Dear (whatever) Insurance Company

Is your letter copyrighted or can I use it too?

Anyone who wants to is welcome to use it.

 

[RubberFrog]

Re: Dear (whatever) Insurance Company

Bob, I've mailed quite a few bricks!

 

[Bob_VT]

Re: Dear (whatever) Insurance Company

Bob, I've mailed quite a few bricks!

 

[Tyme2fish]

Re: Dear (whatever) Insurance Company

I don't mail bricks, but I do return their envelope along with what other stuffings I can find. I've been doing that for over 20 years. It gives me a perverse feeling of well being.

JB, can you write another letter for the credit card offerings??

 

[Benny1963]

Re: Dear (whatever) Insurance Company

man that is right on the money
oh and by the way i have a buch of bricks fixin to get them mailed off.

 

[bjcsc]

Re: Dear (whatever) Insurance Company

I don't mail bricks, but I do return their envelope along with what other stuffings I can find.

Ha! I do that too. I make sure nothing with my name goes in any of them, but I stuff their return envelopes with whatever, usually other junk mail, and mail them in...

 

[PW2]

Re: Dear (whatever) Insurance Company

Hey, I sell wood chips to the local pulp and paper co. They make paper out of it. Direct mailings, credit card offers, insurance offerings, etc. all use paper.

That is good! I am for it! Keep 'em coming!

 

[joed]

Re: Dear (whatever) Insurance Company

Use them to heat your house in the winter. Free heat delivered right to your door. Get on as many lists as you can.

 

[jay_merrill]

Re: Dear (whatever) Insurance Company

Dear Mega Big Insurance Company, Inc.

I am delighted to hear that you wish to insure me. Its so refreshing to know that, even though all of the other companies have turned me down, you are not bothered by the few ailments that I have. I'm also encouraged by your lack of concern about the nature of my hobbies.

I mean, who would have thought that a person with HIV, Hepatitus C, Liver Cancer, Parkinson's, Diabetes, Congestive Heart Failure and some seriously bad breath, could be covered? And, well, the fact that you don't find my future plans to swim over Niagra Falls to be a problem, is just great! After all, barrells are for wimps!

Sign me right up! I'll yake the health insurance, the supplemental insurance (do I get a pet duck with that?), the life insurance and an extended warranty on my toaster!

Yessiree! Ain't life grand?

 

[dave11]

Re: Dear (whatever) Insurance Company

Bob VT

Great link. Don't forget your garbage. Their offers stink. Why shouldn't their return mail?