need suggestions, please help.

yourkiddin

Petty Officer 1st Class
Joined
Apr 10, 2008
Messages
251
anyone here that has experienced the loss of a pet knows how that feels. let me give you some info first. during my 22 yrs of marriage i would never give into my wifes want of an inside dog. mostly do to tearing up funiture and the little accidents on floor. i guesss i seen to much of that as a child and wanted no part of it. anyway last year my wife fell into a deep depression and we had to get her some help. so when the subject of the dog came up this time i felt it may help her and make her happy. we went to a breeder and 500 dollars later we were the proud owners of a tiny yorkshire terrior. now i never believed in paying for a dog either. so this was a big step for me but i done this for my wife. now the sad news,this past sunday a mixed rott jumped on him while she went to work for awhile. never had seen him in neighborhood before. before i could get to him the rott picked him up and shook him back and fourth very violently. this paralyzed him,internal injuries.you get the picture. had to put him to sleep.now for someone that never wanted this dog let me tell you it has been so devistating.my wife is a mess its like we lost a family member. putting that little dog in the ground was the hardest thing i have ever had to do. been in military,consider myself a pretty strong individual. but l cried like a baby over this dog. please dont tell nobody else.lol. well she told me i dont want another one, it wouldnt be the same. but as i watch her,just in these 4 days its like its dragging her back down again. i feel like just going and getting another one. i know i went into alot of detail. sorry but what should i do? will another pet ease the pain and is it to ealrly?
 

tashasdaddy

Honorary Moderator Emeritus
Joined
Nov 11, 2005
Messages
51,019
Re: need suggestions, please help.

i have been in the exact position, you did lose a member of the family. it is like loosing a child. we this evening, have accepted the fact that Sylvia's cat is not coming home. she is upset, and in the future, we will get her another cat. but, the grieving is a process. your wife is correct, a replacement will not be the same. you know your wife best, some times getting a new one too soon, a feeling of resentment can be placed on the animal. it is a hard situation to deal with.
 

angus63

Captain
Joined
May 20, 2002
Messages
3,726
Re: need suggestions, please help.

Sorry for your loss. Everyone is different, but I think it's way too soon. Getting another dog so quick makes them seem disposable. I waited three months before looking for another pooch, not a replacement. I hope your wife gets over this quickly and is back to her old self again soon. Good luck!
 

yourkiddin

Petty Officer 1st Class
Joined
Apr 10, 2008
Messages
251
Re: need suggestions, please help.

thanks alot,never thought of it like that. i just want her to be ok. sorry your losses also. this is a great forum.
 

jcsercsa

Captain
Joined
May 21, 2007
Messages
3,401
Re: need suggestions, please help.

Man so sorry to hear that !! it really is like lossing a family menber!!! I would have to agree ,and wait for a while !!! John
 

Bob_VT

Moderator & Unofficial iBoats Historian
Staff member
Joined
May 19, 2001
Messages
26,065
Re: need suggestions, please help.

I have had that happen a few times in my life and it is never easy. I had to put down a pet last Dec and it brought tears to my eyes and I still miss him.

My first concern is to comfort each other. I would not neglect that.

Since you have been adjusted to an "inside" dog I would recommend that you look at Rescues There are rescue organiztions for every breed (google it) and that may be an option.

Sorry for your loss.
 

Gary H NC

Fleet Admiral
Joined
Dec 1, 2005
Messages
8,972
Re: need suggestions, please help.

Sorry to hear about your loss,:(

I too have been through this 2 times. One dog we had for 14 years i had to have put down.It was the hardest thing i ever done. He was my best friend and went through a divorce and moving 3 times and traveled the country with me.
It is a family member. You and the wife need time to grieve.

I waited about 3 years to get another one. Now i have 2 and know one day i will go through it all again.

Just give the wife a couple weeks at least before talking about another pet.She may look at things differently by then.
Try and comfort each other and get through the tough time ahead.
Best of luck to you.I feel your pain.
 

JB

Honorary Moderator Emeritus
Joined
Mar 25, 2001
Messages
45,907
Re: need suggestions, please help.

Been there. I live alone except for an indoor cat. Local bobcats and coyotes do not allow outdoor cats here.

Catzilla lived with me for 12 years. She was a mean cat, never let anyone but me touch her. When she died I was crushed.

My son brought me Miss Kitty, who has been in the family for 18 years and is entirely different from Catzilla. For a few months I felt like I was keeping my son's cat, but she has decided I am her human now, and as I type she is asleep on my foot.

Dogs are different, cats own us, we own dogs. There is no greater source of unconditional love than a dog.

I recommend a mutt from the pound, and soon. Someone who needs the Mrs. as badly as she needs him/her.

My condolences and best wishes for a successful new relationship.
 

wildmaninal

Lieutenant Commander
Joined
Jul 14, 2007
Messages
1,897
Re: need suggestions, please help.

As an owner of 3 dogs and 1 cat, I've had both a cat and dog most of my life, it is very hard to lose a pet. It is especially hard to lose one after them being with you for 18 years. None of them mess in the house, or tear up furniture. Our oldest dog is now 14 years old, a black lab mixed. Some people may think of a cat being a cat or a dog being a dog, some people treat them like they are stupid, well I'm hear to tell ya that they can and will develop there own personality and they can be smart. Just give them attention and teach them tricks, they'll learn you as well as you'll learn them. Oh and we hardly go over a week without laughing at the cat's stunts or one of the dog's stunts. They can be something else to watch :D.

I seen a certain relative that went through depression, her husband bought her and the kids a small dog (a miniature jack russell), you could see what difference this dog has made in their lives.

I agree that getting a dog so soon would be the wrong thing. Next time get a cheaper or free dog, doesn't half to be a mutt, you can find a full blooded dog for alot less. I wouldn't go with a full grown dog though, get a dog that you can name (not one with a name already), watch it grow up, and be able to trane easier.
 

Tyme2fish

Commander
Joined
Feb 19, 2002
Messages
2,481
Re: need suggestions, please help.

Yourkiddin, I am truely sorry for your lose. This forum has "saved" me many times in the past.

It was so ironic to see your post as I just now returned from the Vet where wife and I had to take our 20 year old momma cat for an emergency visit. Diagnosis was "brachial plexus avulsion'. She has no control of her left front leg and paw.

This cat has been a picture of health. We don't know how she injured herself. My theory is she got a claw caught on the couch and "streched" her leg.

As I type, she is resting comfortably with the help of a pain medication. We will now wait and see but I fear that the decision to put her down will occur all too shortly in the future.

Sorry to hi-jack your thread but yes, I DO FEEL YOUR PAIN AND SORROW.
 

yourkiddin

Petty Officer 1st Class
Joined
Apr 10, 2008
Messages
251
Re: need suggestions, please help.

wanted to let you guys know that we went ahead and got another puppy last night. wife came home a mess again, he had always been there waiting for her at the door. she had told me the thought had entered her mind throughout the day to get another but she did not know. i told her to call the breeder from before. just so happened they had one left from a litter of the same mother and father of our other dog. he looks like a twin. seven weeks old. so we traveled an hour last night to get him. my wife is happy again.so i think this was the right thing to do in this situation
 

tashasdaddy

Honorary Moderator Emeritus
Joined
Nov 11, 2005
Messages
51,019
Re: need suggestions, please help.

very good. OH, potty training again. my Tasha was a rescue. she is the most dedicated dog i have ever had. she was 18 months when she came to live with us.
 

QC

Supreme Mariner
Joined
Mar 22, 2005
Messages
22,783
Re: need suggestions, please help.

Yeah, I think in your situation moving quickly was probably a good thing. We went through this a couple of years back and my wife had to wait a year before she said it was time. Thennnnnn it took about 3 months before she would admit that she loved the new puppy . . . Now they are inseparable. Be patient. Good luck!!

BTW, great place to discuss this. You won't find an better or higher concentration of dog lovers anywhere this side of a dog forum if you ask me . . .

Oh, since you have already moved to an inside dog, I should share with you that when we finally went to the new puppy we have made a complete transition to a third bed partner . . . :eek:
 

chiefalen

Captain
Joined
May 18, 2008
Messages
3,598
Re: need suggestions, please help.

No words can describe the loss of a pet. And it's not like we don't know from the moment we adopt one, that the day will come when we have to send them to the maker.

I to lost pets a cat that thought she was a dog.

And my beloved yellow lab. That dog helped me survive 2 major medical, problems that almost claimed me to the maker.

I was so weak i couldn't walk, but Buster pulled me up and down the hills at my summer home, where it took me 3 solid months to regain some strength all do to him. Twice he got me thru.

Also he saved my youngest child's life, He grabbed her by the diaper and wouldn't let her walk into the street, just like that poster for suntan lotion.

He one time had the whole block of kids on him in a tangle and never nipped one of them although he cried in pain.

Yes you did the right thing for you wife.

I tell you i'm not so forgiving as you cause i wouldn't rest till that rotti got his.

Have you called the police?

That dog will attack again and maybe a child the next time.

Good luck and may g-d bless !
 

salty87

Commander
Joined
Aug 12, 2003
Messages
2,327
Re: need suggestions, please help.

i was gonna say just get another one now. a puppy has a way of taking your mind off those memories...and to cleaning up accidents, throwing away chewed up shoes, training. good times

no pic?
 

Gary H NC

Fleet Admiral
Joined
Dec 1, 2005
Messages
8,972
Re: need suggestions, please help.

I agree with Chiefalen,
The Rotti needs to be found before it hurts another pet or person..
Congrats on the new puppy!
 

Carphunter

Commander
Joined
Aug 11, 2002
Messages
2,061
Re: need suggestions, please help.

Sorry for your loss, and glad to hear about the new puppy.:)

I was the same as you. I never wanted a dog in the house. My wife ignored my wishes and brought home a Shorkie. (sheetzu(sp);) and yorkie mix). I was so mad. Now I can't imagine not having that little dog around. Friendliest little animal I have ever seen.​

Good luck with the new pup. Hope your wife is happy again.​
 

Bob_VT

Moderator & Unofficial iBoats Historian
Staff member
Joined
May 19, 2001
Messages
26,065
Re: need suggestions, please help.

How about a photo of the new addition?
 

yourkiddin

Petty Officer 1st Class
Joined
Apr 10, 2008
Messages
251
Re: need suggestions, please help.

not much of a computer person but with a little coaching im sure i could get a pic or to of the puppy on here. is it possible to send pics from cell phone 2 this site? the dog is doing good and my wife is just fine. he has some of the same characteristics as other one but he is more rowdy. he is alot of joy. thanks guys.
 
Top