jaxnjil
Lieutenant
- Joined
- Aug 3, 2007
- Messages
- 1,368
> Will Rogers, who died in a plane crash with Wylie Post in 1935, was
> probably the greatest political sage this country has ever known.
> Enjoy the following:
>
>
>
> 1. Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.
>
>
>
> 2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
>
>
>
> 3. There are 2 theories to arguing with a woman...neither works.
>
>
>
> 4. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
>
>
>
> 5. Always drink upstream from the herd.
>
>
>
> 6. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.
>
>
>
> 7. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back
> in your pocket.
>
>
>
> 8. There are three kinds of men: The ones that learn by reading. The
> few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the
> electric fence and find out for themselves.
>
>
>
> 9. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from
> bad judgment.
>
>
>
> 10. If you're riding' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now
> and then to make sure it's still there.
>
>
>
> 11. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it
> back.
>
>
>
> 12. After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he
> started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him.
> The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
>
>
>
>
> ABOUT GROWING OLDER...
>
>
>
> First ~ Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about
> your age and start bragging about it.
>
>
>
> Second ~ The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line
> for.
>
>
>
> Third ~ Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want
> people to know "why" I look this way. I've traveled a long way and
> some of the roads weren't paved.
>
>
>
> Fourth ~ When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth,
> think of Algebra.
>
>
>
> Fifth ~ You know you are getting old when everything either dries up
> or leaks.
>
>
>
> Sixth ~ I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the
> top.
>
>
>
> Seventh ~ One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that
> it is such a nice change from being young.
>
>
>
> Eighth ~ One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has
> been.
>
>
>
> Ninth ~ Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
>
>
>
> Tenth ~ Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it
> was called witchcraft. Today it's called golf And finally ~ If you
> don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at
> when you are old
> probably the greatest political sage this country has ever known.
> Enjoy the following:
>
>
>
> 1. Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.
>
>
>
> 2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
>
>
>
> 3. There are 2 theories to arguing with a woman...neither works.
>
>
>
> 4. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
>
>
>
> 5. Always drink upstream from the herd.
>
>
>
> 6. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.
>
>
>
> 7. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back
> in your pocket.
>
>
>
> 8. There are three kinds of men: The ones that learn by reading. The
> few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the
> electric fence and find out for themselves.
>
>
>
> 9. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from
> bad judgment.
>
>
>
> 10. If you're riding' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now
> and then to make sure it's still there.
>
>
>
> 11. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it
> back.
>
>
>
> 12. After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he
> started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him.
> The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
>
>
>
>
> ABOUT GROWING OLDER...
>
>
>
> First ~ Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about
> your age and start bragging about it.
>
>
>
> Second ~ The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line
> for.
>
>
>
> Third ~ Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want
> people to know "why" I look this way. I've traveled a long way and
> some of the roads weren't paved.
>
>
>
> Fourth ~ When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth,
> think of Algebra.
>
>
>
> Fifth ~ You know you are getting old when everything either dries up
> or leaks.
>
>
>
> Sixth ~ I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the
> top.
>
>
>
> Seventh ~ One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that
> it is such a nice change from being young.
>
>
>
> Eighth ~ One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has
> been.
>
>
>
> Ninth ~ Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
>
>
>
> Tenth ~ Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it
> was called witchcraft. Today it's called golf And finally ~ If you
> don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at
> when you are old
