Wife at the helm...

[Tahoe 55]

We've had a boat for a little over a year now and my wife was interested in driving at first, but then changed her mind. She only drives when I wanted to do some water sports behind the boat. She's a good driver while pulling me and I always feel comfortable at the end of the line. Now she wants to start driving more...

Yesterday we were out alone (without the kids) and half way through the day she states, she's driving for the rest of the day. This included docking at lunch time at our favorite lake side restaurant and also power loading on the trailer. She did everything very well and I'm proud of her, but at the same time, I felt out of place just "riding" in the boat. I'm so used to being the driver it was wierd... I was also a little "out of sorts" jumping off and on the boat tieing and untieing dock lines at the same time coach her at the helm.

The boat is my baby and it's hard to let someone else have control of her (even if it's my wife). It was quiet on the water yesterday (being a Tuesday) but now I'm a little worried she's going to want to drive this weekend with heavy traffic. That could get a little hairy and heated. I guess I just need to relax and share as long as no one is in danger.... I love the fact my wife is so into boating, but at the same time don't want anything to happen to the boat or us and I guess I'm feeling a little stingy with turning over my helm too....

Any pointers or insight on this situation?

 

[22E6441]

Re: Wife at the helm...

Get a tube and a really long line. Tell her she can drive the tube all day long.

Seriously though, I don't know. Boats are fun to drive. I don't blame her for wanting to drive all the time....the same way I feel.

But like you, my boat is MY boat in MY eyes.

My wife hasn't learned how to operate the boat yet, or even back the trailer. In order to make my life easier, I need to teach her to do both....but it's a slippery slope!

 

[_chris_]

Re: Wife at the helm...

I have been slowly teaching mine because I don't want to drive all the time, sometimes I just like relaxing and watching the water. She is getting better and relaxing more herself but she also knows it is my boat and I alway do the docking and putting it on a trailer. Mainly because if it get damaged I would rather have it my fault, than there is no tension.

 

[dkorzun21]

Re: Wife at the helm...

I have the complete opposite, Mine never wants to drive I will want to go tubing etc and dont really feel comftorable with my friends driving number one cause there wasted and number too never drove a boat or been around one when they grew up. So I tell my wife when I go out your driving the boat, when I go tubing and she like why do I have to I said cause your the only one I trust and she like ok. Get out there and try to go tubing and say babe your driving and she says infront of all my buddy no im not driving let one of your friends and at this piont obv all my waste case friends are like im gunna drive. Tehy start by going fulll throttle down the lake making sharp turns. Then When I get on board my wife like I hurt my arm your friend was driving so crazy what a *** hole and Im like thats what you get we have the same talk every weekend and this what happends. This weekend she not comming hahaha guys weekend keg and sandbar baby....

 

[firsttimeboating]

Re: Wife at the helm...

one word...DANGEROUs!

 

[esobofh]

Re: Wife at the helm...

Encourage her - something you can share together and talk about together only adds to a relationship. It's nice to have a co-pilot and someone that understands what needs to happen while you're on the water.

It'll also be a lot easier to upgrade and buy new accessories for the boat when she feels like she has a stake in the game (as opposed to just you buying toys).

As far as feeling out of place - there's always something on a boat that needs work and adjustment, etc. While it's underway is a good time to make observations about trim tab settings, weights and balance, and just look at how things are working. It's hard to do that when you are the one driving.

 

[esobofh]

Re: Wife at the helm...

btw... "the captain" isn't usually the "helmsman"... which is a much lower rank

 

[rbh]

Re: Wife at the helm...

OH OH OH-
Enjoy this moment,
when some one can take some of the burdens off your shoulders, if even for a little while so you can have a drink or whatever.
sit back and relax and enjoy.
rob

 

[Tahoe 55]

Re: Wife at the helm...

As far as feeling out of place - there's always something on a boat that needs work and adjustment, etc. While it's underway is a good time to make observations about trim tab settings, weights and balance, and just look at how things are working. It's hard to do that when you are the one driving.

Funny, because that's what I ended up doing. It's a whole different perspective when you're not behind the wheel. Yeah, encouraging her is what I was trying to do and what needs to happen I think. I can't imagine being on the water without her. I mean I could could go out alone, but think it wouldn't be near as much fun. Her getting to drive (sometimes) will get her that much more into it. She was all excited last night telling our 11 year old about her driving... She's a good one!

 

[ShaneCarroll]

Re: Wife at the helm...

From the name of this thread, I thought it was gonna be in stupid human tricks. Just kidding. I let my fiancee drive occasionally, she doesn't volunteer too much. It's kinda good though, she doesn't drink that much, so I can feel free knowing that if I get wasted, I've got a designated driver. Even while I'm wasted and she's driving, I know I have a very bad habit of "back-seat driving." But hey, that boat is my baby (not for the past few weeks, darn outdrive), and I can't let something happen to it. I might not forgive myself.

I know I get annoyed when I am driving my car and some passengers are doing the back-seat driving, but I figure in the boat, it's my boat, so I'm gonna do it.

 

[marlboro180]

Re: Wife at the helm...

Funny, because that's what I ended up doing. It's a whole different perspective when you're not behind the wheel.

Yeah, nothing like checking out the scenery while my wife is driving. Spot a lot more wildlife that way. Besides nothing is cooler that a hot bikini clad woman at the wheel! She's still not comfortable enough pulling me on ski's , but then we just bring an experienced friend to drive.

Honestly though, it takes a lot to give up the helm but that's part of being together always.

This spring we were out on a river and my wife was driving up on plane, a boat pulling a skier was approaching head on and she pulled to the right to give plenty of room. Well, she also backed off a touch and we came off plane into the murky muck below. Not fun pushing out of there, I was fuming the whole time, muck up my waist. I held my tongue, it could happen to anyone as these "muck bars" move around a bit. She did help flush the motor afterwards and all was well, and she got a lesson in how to pull the manifold plugs too!
This is the kicker- the next week I did the same darn thing in another part of the river! Boy was I embarrassed as she just looked over at me with a smug grin , grabbed the wheel while I jumped over to push the boat out yet again.
Eatin' crow and muck!!!!

And my little girl says " Dad, isn't it a better idea to keep it up on plane through here?" as we all laughed at the situation.

 

[Woodnaut]

Re: Wife at the helm...

I actually wish my wife and daughter wanted to drive a little more often. I think that sometimes the ladies feel a little intimidated in traffic situations. Just make sure they understand the "rules of the road". As a matter of fact, I wish more guys understood the "rules of the road".

 

[marlboro180]

Re: Wife at the helm...

I actually wish my wife and daughter wanted to drive a little more often. I think that sometimes the ladies feel a little intimidated in traffic situations. Just make sure they understand the "rules of the road". As a matter of fact, I wish more guys understood the "rules of the road".

Yup, couldn't agree more. See lots of infractions out there. Almost got clobbered on the Black River this weekend from another boat nearly crossing between me on a ski and the tow boat....

Unfortunately the six year old can't quite drive yet, but she's got the idea that the rules on the water are not to be broken. Even points out the mistakes of others including me. She's become quite a little deckhand- stowing stuff, getting food, setting bumpers, putting in the plug(that HER job)

I trust my wife on rivers as they are a bit simpler than out on big open water. It's not that she's not smart ( smarter than me by far) but does not feel comfortable to make a traffic decision in a bind. She didn't grow up on water as I did, but is learning. She has yet to complete the full safety course as her phd schooling is kinda taking up her time. But rest assured she will...

Good luck in getting yours out more as well!

 

[AngelC]

Re: Wife at the helm...

marlboro180...That was too funny!! Your right it happends to the best of us

 

[204 Escape]

Re: Wife at the helm...

My wife drives anytime she wants to I'm o.k. with that. She won't load the boat on the trailer, BUT she will back the trailer in the water.

We use Motorola hunting walkie talkies to back the trailer in the water, and to pull out of hte water. Seems to work good for us. (Just a suggestion).


P.S. The closest my wife ever came to a boat in her life, was when we went to a boat show, and I'd drool !!!!!!!

 

[shorts&chanclas]

Re: Wife at the helm...

Mine won't back the trailer but will unload and load. I'll take someone driving any day of the week. Until we got to this point I had no idea we had 8 cup holders on our boat.

 

[Tahoe 55]

Re: Wife at the helm...

So..... It's not that uncommon for a wife to drive the boat?...

 

[dwhite1031]

Re: Wife at the helm...

I've shown my wife how to operate the boat completely, the rules of the road, and how to trailer it. Reason being is that if something happens to me on the water that incapacitates me, she can render any initial 1st aid, and at least get me to the nearest boat for help, or back to the ramp for help.​

 

[marlboro180]

Re: Wife at the helm...

"We use Motorola hunting walkie talkies to back the trailer in the water, and to pull out of hte water. Seems to work good for us. (Just a suggestion). "


I really like that idea of the radios. Heck, we use them around the house all the time, just never dawned on me. Thanks for the thought.I'll use it once I get the motor back in.....

Roger, out.

 

[skargo]

Re: Wife at the helm...

I have the complete opposite, Mine never wants to drive I will want to go tubing etc and dont really feel comftorable with my friends driving number one cause there wasted and number too never drove a boat or been around one when they grew up. So I tell my wife when I go out your driving the boat, when I go tubing and she like why do I have to I said cause your the only one I trust and she like ok. Get out there and try to go tubing and say babe your driving and she says infront of all my buddy no im not driving let one of your friends and at this piont obv all my waste case friends are like im gunna drive. Tehy start by going fulll throttle down the lake making sharp turns. Then When I get on board my wife like I hurt my arm your friend was driving so crazy what a *** hole and Im like thats what you get we have the same talk every weekend and this what happends. This weekend she not comming hahaha guys weekend keg and sandbar baby....

Ummm, YOU have control over your wasted friends and thei level of "wastedness." Very irresponsible what you are doing, IMO, and you will be held responsible when one of those idiots kills someone.