Why are boats better than women?

[Jeep Man]

I've left out the reasons that might get me banned, for the sake of the moderator and my future enjoyment on this forum. Feel free to add to the list.
-Boat curves never sag
-Boats last longer
-Boats don't have parents
-Boats don't whine unless there is something really wrong
-You can share your boat with your friends
-If your boat smokes, you can do something about it
-Boats don't care how many other boats you've been with
-Boats don't mind if you look at other boats, or buy boat magazines
-You don't have to be jealous of the guy working on your boat
-You don't have to deal with priests, ministers or blood tests to register your boat
-If you say bad things about your boat you don't have to apologize before you take your boat out again
-Your parents don't keep in touch with your old boat after you dump it
-Boats don't insult you if you are a bad boater
-Boats don't care if your late
-If your boat doesn't look good, you can get new parts
and finally
-If your boat makes too much noise, you can always buy a muffler

 

[jdlough]

Re: Why are boats better than women?

-If you say bad things about your boat you don't have to apologize before you take your boat out again

You obviously don't know my boat. She can be a vicious bltch with a long memory.

(DON'T tell her I said this!) {Where's the 'delete post' button!!!}

 

[WAVENBYE2]

Re: Why are boats better than women?

Women may come and go, But your boat will always be there!!

 

[ShaneCarroll]

Re: Why are boats better than women?

-Boats don't care how many other boats you've been with
-Boats don't mind if you look at other boats, or buy boat magazines
-You don't have to be jealous of the guy working on your boat
-If you say bad things about your boat you don't have to apologize before you take your boat out again
-Boats don't insult you if you are a bad boater

While I agree with many of your points, the above are completely inaccurate!! My boat ran great, then I started daydreaming on different boat websites, and my gimbal bearing and u-joints go out.

I don't want anyone working on my boat other than me, or if I'm present to observe they "handle" her appropriately.

If I say bad things about my boat, it doesn't wanna start,

When I was a greenhorn, I learned the hard way about how boats will insult you. I went on the bow of my parents' cuddy cabin to throw the bow anchor, not paying attention, and that thing was like a water slide! I completely busted my rear end, and slid under the bow rail and into the water with anchor in hand. The worst part was my bathing suit was caught on the cleat, so after the super wedgie I received, I realized my pants were completely ripped.:redface: Luckily the boat was in reverse, and they killed the engine as soon as I fell. I was limping for a week.

 

[pmat1]

Re: Why are boats better than women?

my boat gets mad when i look at other boats. I talk bad about it but it knows i still love it.

 

[jdlough]

Re: Why are boats better than women?

Women may come and go, But your boat will always be there!!

Now, don't go thinking that! (You'll just **** her off!)

http://forums.iboats.com/showthread.php?t=275872

 

[WAVENBYE2]

Re: Why are boats better than women?

Now, don't go thinking that! (You'll just **** her off!)

http://forums.iboats.com/showthread.php?t=275872

OOH NOO!! The wife do That?? Ah haa haa!! Tell me she didn't sink his boat!

 

[jdlough]

Re: Why are boats better than women?

OOH NOO!! The wife do That?? Ah haa haa!! Tell me she didn't sink his boat!

Nope, the boat sank her own damn self. Check the iboats link in that post for the longer story. Didn't think my knots were 'good enough for her' or somesuch rot.

Well I got the last laugh. That boat's now a true yard ornament - a hazard to lawnmower navigation.

 

[Cofe]

Re: Why are boats better than women?

Why are boats better than women?
Well they're both the same.
They will both break down on you at the worst time.

 

[JaSla74]

Re: Why are boats better than women?

Dang funny, but no boat could ever come close to my lady. Besides, my boat nickel & dimes me more than my wife ever could.

 

[WAVENBYE2]

Re: Why are boats better than women?

Nope, the boat sank her own damn self. Didn't think my knots were 'good enough for her' or somesuch rot.

Well I got the last laugh. That boat's now a true yard ornament - a hazard to lawnmower navigation.

Oh my God dude , wife and read your link, I am sorry to see that! I especially loved the part where you got complimented on keeping your hull clean, ah haa ah, Thanks Man We needed that. It was just funny the way you put it, Very good spirited of you!!

 

[jdlough]

Re: Why are boats better than women?

Wavenbye,

First, it's not really possible to 'hyjack' a thread on a Dockside Chat forum, right?
We're just talking here, right? OK.

Here's more info on "Leaky", my sunken, first, practice boat, from my thread on looking for boat-lift advice info on http://forums.iboats.com/showthread.php?t=271371

"The skiff is/was sort of my practice, starter boat. It was a rental in Ocean City, MD for the past 30 years or so. I got it for $100 for the boat, $200 for the motor. I learned much from it, such as:

1. Bottom paint can cost more than a boat.
2. 2-year bottom paint lasts exactly 2 years, then barnacles are free to eat the boat.
3. If you buy a rental boat, make sure they didn't use drywall screws to attach the oarlocks, in case your motor won't start out in the bay.
4. Enough stainless screws, bolts, and 5200 caulk to keep it from leaking can cost as much as a boat.
5. Battery and auto bilge pump are overpriced in a marine store (so I didn't buy), but underpriced at home in a storm wondering if your boat will make it thru another one.
6. Don't, under any circumstances, name your boat 'Leaky'. Leaky is not amused.
7. Don't name the motor, 'Rusty'. (Or, 'C'mon, you F'n POS')
8. Think 'Happy Thoughts', for Rusty's upcoming description on Ebay.
9. Don't rename the boat, 'Poseidon.'
10. If, after a storm, you're more concerned about how badly your pier is smashed up, than how badly your boat is smashed up, then you need a crappier pier or a better boat.

I am grateful to Leaky. (A bit irritated at Rusty - not his fault tho) Until Leaky, my wife thought she didn't like boating. Then she suggested we get a 'real' boat, for skiing/tubing. (WOOHOO!!!) So I thought I found an OK boat to buy, she says, "We're not ready. We don't even have a boat lift yet." (Double WOOHOO!!)"

So, I eventually got TWO lifts, that SeaSwirl 2100 DC in my avatar, and a McKee 16' skiff for the kids.

So, I really have a lot to thank Leaky for.

Here's a pic of the new lifts and one new boat. The kids were out with the other one....

Jim

 

[WAVENBYE2]

Re: Why are boats better than women?

Until Leaky, my wife thought she didn't like boating. Then she suggested we get a 'real' boat, for skiing/tubing. (WOOHOO!!!) So I thought I found an OK boat to buy, she says, "We're not ready. We don't even have a boat lift yet." (Double WOOHOO!!)"
"Why are boats better than women?"
Sounds like the Wife turn out to be better than the boat!!


So, I really have a lot to thank Leaky for.

Sounds like Leaky turned out to be a good friend after all, sacrificing himself the way he did for your benifit
Beautiful pic BTW!!

 

[Mike Robinson]

Re: Why are boats better than women?

Too funny jdlough

 

[jdlough]

Re: Why are boats better than women?

Yep,

Leaky does have a place of honor. Upside down, on the lawn, on the land side and just off to the side of the pier (Leaky weighs about 600lbs). He makes a nice bench (no barnacles!), and has a nice view of the new boats, and still current registration stickers. He is surrounded by nice flowers. (Somethingamums, I think. Ask the wife.)

I am a bit ashamed that I looked, but realized that I have no pics of Leaky in his retirement home. (Rusty, and his pals RustyParts and BustedCowling, are in the shed) This will be rectified.

The new boats, "Eureka" (cuz it took so long to find it), and the "Millennium Falcon" (teenagers skiff, some movie reference? - they're bummed cuz if it was aluminum boat it would be called the "Aluminum Falcon", seem to work out pretty dang good. Although the Falcon is TOO DANG FAST, and the Eureka drafts too deep. (big tide swing in Jim-Harbour).

The lifts have no names, yet. The big one was going to be called, "Sparky" or "Short", but I think that's fixed. The smaller was maybe, "F-in rats nest cable too dang long, dang kids should know when to turn it off, dangit", but that seems a bit too long. Then I was thinking, "Danngit! Unplug the frigging plugs, or the friggin electrolysis will eat your dang lift!". But that was also kinda long. So, the new name for the little lift MAY be "Wasp Nest". Guess why.

At any rate, I could go thru 100 boats, but I'm waiting for the perfect one to name after my wife, Dawn. I'd give up boats, billiards, and golf for her. (But she likes 2 outta 3 of them, so I got that going for me...)

So, If anyone can help me explain the joys of golf???

Jim

 

[dlindeblad]

Re: Why are boats better than women?

Why are boats better than women?

Mines always up to the challenge when I am.

 

[Cofe]

Re: Why are boats better than women?

Hey Jd, Keep with the boat decoration theme. Getting golf carts mixed in amongst them just wouldn't look right.

 

[Tail_Gunner]

Re: Why are boats better than women?

Lets be honest here..you just shovel money at them and they always look better....and most importantly if you dress them racy they just look better and do not talk back...or question your heart or motives..

 

[captharv]

Re: Why are boats better than women?

It takes all my money buy doesn't bi*ch....

 

[mthieme]

Re: Why are boats better than women?

Hmmmm, had to think about this one...
My SeaRay is 10 years younger than my wife !!!