Holidays aren't the same for all of us...

[LadyFish]

There's a tear in my coffee this morning as I think about what the holidays mean to me, and what they mean to the children in our care.​

For those of you who don't know, I work for a non-profit organization that has programs that provide care, education, treatment, research and training to promote and restore the physical and emotional health of children, youth and their families.​

We have a facility for undocumented children who have been on the streets or riding the rail system from South America who were brought here by "coyotes" or "human traffickers" and some who are just trying to reunite with their families in the US after they left other countries to come here and try to earn a living. There are also those children who have been abused and are running to try and find a better life. Some have been living on the streets for months before we get them. They have seen and experienced things that no child should. Some (boys and girls) have been raped, physically abused, or watched this happen to someone else. The age range is from 5 years old to 18 and we are seeing more and more in the 5-12 year old range. They come to us with a suitcase full of emotional issues. We give them warmth, comfort, education and therapy. And, try our best to provide them with a safe and secure environment. Our staff does a great job parenting them but we both know it?s not the same as having your own parents. Some of them have been dropped off at the border by their parents, some are here because their parents have been murdered, some of them are just running from something else, the list of reasons is long.​

We also have a program dedicated to homeless youth that are about to "age out" of either our Foster Care program where they reside fulltime. We help them transition into the working world; teach them life skills that will give them the confidence and ability to live on their own. We also have a facility for older youth that will never be adopted out.​

In our family shelter, we have entire families that are homeless due to the current economic climate. One family is grandparents, parents, and their children. Our other clients may be women and children who are looking for a safe haven from an abusive relationship. These a tough times for these folks and my heart goes out to them.​

Our residential center that houses children who will never be adopted is the most heartbreaking of all to me. These troubled kids don't have the gift of a loving family, a bedroom of their own. They don't have the joy of seeing aunts and uncles and cousins and sharing memories of fun times together. My heart bleeds for these children right now.They have no family. They don't know the love of a mother or father.​

My compassion is strong for the children 365 days a year but even more so during the holidays. Many of these children have never had a sit down Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner with family. They have never felt the joy of the holidays, as many of us know it. Their emotions run strong. For those children without parents who are "throw away" kids its even tougher.​

Until I came to work here a few years ago, I had no comprehension of how many of these children were out there. The numbers are huge and growing.​

We have many generous donations this time of year. Gifts for the children and families are plentiful, to me whats missing is peace in their hearts.​

Please take a moment to remember these children and families in your thoughts and prayers. Pray they can somehow find comfort and joy this holiday season.​

If you are departed from your families during the holidays or just feel like giving, contact a local child welfare organization near you and see what you can do to help. Sometimes its just gift wrapping or helping cook a traditional holiday dinner. You will get back tenfold what you give.​

Please do NOT turn this into a politcal thread, politics have no place in my message.​

 

[Bob_VT]

Re: A heavy heart...

Re: A heavy heart...

Ladyfish...... My great wife Jenn works for the Rutland County Women's Network......... We fully understand the impact of all of the family network's. You and my wife both work job's that require more time then there is in any given day. It is a 24/7/365 for all.

We have often spent as many hours "after work" as we have during work just helping families.

In the past years I have been thanked for my service in the military. People have stated "thank you for your service" thousands of times...... Now it's my turn.

Ladyfish... Thank you for your dedication and service. The children and families are better off having a people like you in their corner.

 

[LadyFish]

Re: A heavy heart...

Re: A heavy heart...

Thanks Bob. It's so easy to forget these folks this time of year when we get all wrapped up in our own stuff.​

Many people out there only consider the politics involved or that these kids and families are just "living off the system". I'm here to tell you the clients in our programs are here out of necessity only. Not all people are just here for a hand out, they need a hand up and that what we try to give them.​

 

[tashasdaddy]

Re: A heavy heart...

Re: A heavy heart...

Sylvia, has been a mental health counselor, for to long to remember. she started teaching, then went to dept of children & families. child protective services. then as Director of Social Services at the local State Mental Hospital. she retired 5 years ago, since then she has work as a contract, Counselor, for the state Self Directed Care Program.

over the years we have seen many unbelievable things.

she is still going strong at 71 yo.

 

[rbh]

Re: A heavy heart...

Re: A heavy heart...

Why is it that Christmas time "seems" to be the only time we really hear about people opening their wallets and hearts.
Is it because we live in the western world and for the most part its dog eat dog, and this is the one time of the year people let down their guard.
Ladyfish, I cant imagine living in the state of California were the population is about the same as the population of Canada 38 million +-.(I knew your in TX)
And during these times of economical uncertainty its got to be hard to watch all the people around you try and cope with just putting a roof over the heads of their families and food in their stomachs led alone try and deal with the whole Christmas season.
So for all your, and the "volunteers" efforts, making peoples life alittle easier, GOOD FOR YOU, and two thumbs up.
rob

 

[LadyFish]

Re: A heavy heart...

Re: A heavy heart...

Although, I appreciate your kudos, I don't deserve the credit, I do no more than anyone else that works here.​

As I said the real heros are those who volunteer and give their time, they aren't drawing a paycheck.​

The purpose of my message is certainly not to get an atta girl, but to remind people of our less fortunate brothers and sisters. To remind us all to send good thoughts their way for a peaceful, joy filled holiday.​

 

[dave11]

Re: Holidays aren't the same for all of us...

I think the message from LadyFish is that we all need a little help from time to time. Help someone who needs a little help now and/or later. This is the season of giving. If you have a boat, you are probably more affluent than many. This season, give a little help to someone who needs it.

Merry Christmas.

 

[jay_merrill]

Re: Holidays aren't the same for all of us...

While I'll keep the details private, I have a reason to understand what you deal with on a daily basis. I also agree that, when you take on responsibility for a child, its not about the public recognition - its about the child or children.

What you get back isn't something that enters your mind as you begin whatever circumstance that you are in, but it has an effect on your life. The love that the child or children give, is without compare. Sadly, however, the adults involved can be just awful. To whatever extent that is true, the job that you have as a caregiver, is made more complicated and sometimes its heartbreaking.

LF, please know that I hold people who do what you do in the highest esteem. In an era when CEOs, once considered the pillars of society, seem to think nothing of comitting all manner of white collar crimes and many others in daily life, just seem to "be in it" for themselves, it is the "unsung heros" that give me faith in humanity.

As adults, its our job to protect all of the children, whether they are ours or someone else's. That is a tenant that I hold near and dear. I just wish I could get more folks, especially the ones that don't seem to understand the consequences of using certain of their body parts, to understand and live by that theory.

Thanks again for doing what you do.



.

 

[tx1961whaler]

Re: Holidays aren't the same for all of us...

I find that my volunteer work with the homeless and "nearly homeless" keeps me grounded and very grateful for the blessings that my family and I enjoy. It also makes me wonder what planet all of the "just get a job" and "all these people are lazy and irresponsible" type of people live in. There are some clients that are so mentally ill (bi-polar/schizophrenic) that there is no way that they can "get a job" or "pull themselves up by there own bootstraps". Unfortunately most of them cycle through jail, the street, and the hospital as there are few available choices available. There are others that are down and out for various reasons, and yes, bad choices in life being among them, that just need help, firm guidance and some education to get them pointed in the right direction. Most want to do better, but are absolutely clueless on how to get there. The right program, with kind, clear and firm expectations (and consequences...) can make all of the difference in a family's life.

 

[kenmyfam]

Re: Holidays aren't the same for all of us...

I think all the work and help that people give is a wonderful thing. Although we have no "hands on" with them we do help out with fund raisers and donate to the cause ourselves on a monthly basis.
My hat is off to all of you that do the "hands on" thing

 

[tx1961whaler]

Re: Holidays aren't the same for all of us...

Here's my blatant, transparent pitching for some worthy places:

North Texas food bank, on track to serve 20 MILLION meals this year (unfortunately): http://www.ntfb.org/

Interfaith Housing Coalition, providing housing, education and training for families in transition: http://www.interfaithhousingcoalition.org/

North Dallas Shared Ministries, providing health care and services to those in need: http://www.ndsm.org/

These charities are for the north Texas area; every city has similar ones with similar . There is great need everywhere you look, if you care to. Most never see the down and out in our everyday lives. They probably don't live in our neighborhood (but they may be your former neighbors that lost their house), shop in our grocery store (but may stock the shelves or sweep the floor at night) or run in our circle of friends (but may be your friend's dad or mom or child they don't ever mention), but they are real people. Now I'm not being a bleeding-heart do-gooder here; some of these individuals are loony, nasty, smelly, alcoholic/addicted screw-ups who will never amount to anything judging by our modern society's standards. All you can do is try to help, the rest is up to them. They will infuriate you and stretch your patience to the last possible inch, but they annoy me no more than those "normal" people that bellow, complain and label "those people", but do nothing else but make noise and pat themselves on the back.

I'll leave you with a snip from my favorite, sentimental Christmas song, Father Christmas by the Kinks:
Have yourself a merry merry Christmas
Have yourself a good time
But remember the kids who got nothin'
While you're drinkin' down your wine

Father Christmas, give us some money
Don't mess around with those silly toys
We'll beat you up if you don't hand it over
We want your bread, so don't make us annoyed
Give all the toys to the little rich boys

 

[tallcanadian]

Re: Holidays aren't the same for all of us...

There was a period in my life where I was down and out and all alone at Christmas. It was a horrible feeling and the lonliest I have felt, ever. I wouldn't wish those feelings on anyone but it's so sad that kids, at any age, should have to feel what I felt. It's a very sad thing that in this day and age that some kids are still being treated so poorly. And no child should ever be alone for any holiday where families should be united, let alone Christmas. It breaks my heart that a child won't feel the wonderful feelings that Christmas, in particular, bring. The sad thing is it's in every town, every state, every province, everywhere. God bless all those who help our kids, no matter volunteer or paid. Thank God that people like you all exist, to make a difference no matter how big or small. Thank you Ladyfish for what you do and to remind us all that there is less fortunate in our communities.

 

[jay_merrill]

Re: Holidays aren't the same for all of us...

Imagine being three years old and having your daddy, who is supposed to be the person who you can trust above all else to protect you, hit you so hard, that he breaks one of your bones. Imagine a child protection division that is such a mess, that it puts that child back in the hands of the father, within weeks of his release from jail for the aforementioned offense. Imagine this, even though the mother has done nothing wrong and is no longer with him. Imagine that same child being mistreated for the next four years, only to be severely burned by the father, approximately a year ago. Now imagine the child protective folks trying to put the kid back in the father's household, again.

No, this isn't the case that I was thinking of in my initial post, but it is real. It actually happened. Fortunately, the child involved has finally been removed from the abusive household, but he had to be in foster care for nearly a year, while the court fight to get him away from his father, went on. He is now back with his mother, where he should have been all along.

The good news is that the little boy is beginning to heal emotionally. I think he will always carry some "baggage" over this, but he no longer throws his hands up in front of his face, when you mildy scold him for some typical bit of childish behavior. He no longer expects to be hit, as was the case in every bit of his young life, prior to being saved from his daddy.

What I will think of during the holiday season, is how lucky I was, to have never been subjected to such an existence. Yup, life has had its ups and downs, but compared to this, its been a "bowl of cherries."



.

 

[tx1961whaler]

Re: Holidays aren't the same for all of us...

Imagine being three years old and having your daddy, who is supposed to be the person who you can trust above all else to protect you, hit you so hard, that he breaks one of your bones. Imagine a child protection division that is such a mess, that it puts that child back in the hands of the father, within weeks of his release from jail for the aforementioned offense. Imagine this, even though the mother has done nothing wrong and is no longer with him. Imagine that same child being mistreated for the next four years, only to be severely burned by the father, approximately a year ago. Now imagine the child protective folks trying to put the kid back in the father's household, again.

No, this isn't the case that I was thinking of in my initial post, but it is real. It actually happened. Fortunately, the child involved has finally been removed from the abusive household, but he had to be in foster care for nearly a year, while the court fight to get him away from his father, went on. He is now back with his mother, where he should have been all along.

The good news is that the little boy is beginning to heal emotionally. I think he will always carry some "baggage" over this, but he no longer throws his hands up in front of his face, when you mildy scold him for some typical bit of childish behavior. He no longer expects to be hit, as was the case in every bit of his young life, prior to being saved from his daddy.

What I will think of during the holiday season, is how lucky I was, to have never been subjected to such an existence. Yup, life has had its ups and downs, but compared to this, its been a "bowl of cherries.".

Sadly, this is played out every day, everywhere. Some kids are in horrible situations. Some get out only "slightly damaged". Most do not. They end up as the homeless, (or incarcerated) individuals I referred to earlier. Some eventually end up doing OK, but they are in the small minority.