1999 Ford Ranger problems

[Tyme2fish]

I wasn't sure if I should post here or on Non-Boating Technical Topics.

I bought my 1999 Ford Ranger extended cab in March of 1999. It was brand new, off the show room floor. Cherry Red in color, 5 speed manual, 6 cylinder with very few frills or add ons. It has AC and a cassette deck but no electric windows or cruise control.

Recently I have noticed that somehow the Klingon Bird of Prey Cloaking device has become activated. I have observed motorists pulling right out in front of me as if I was invisible or "cloaked". As my truck is bright red in color , I find it impossible that other drivers don't see me.

Could the cloaking device somehow have been activated? How do I turn it off and where is it located?

Another problem: My stop light actuator is stuck in the on position. Every time I approach a stoplight, the light turns from green to red. Could this be caused by the spectral diffusion deflection from the red paint on my truck?

 

[Grub54891]

Re: 1999 Ford Ranger problems

I learns to never stop at red lights. When I see the getting ready to chane,I'll slow down to a crawl. Creep up to it and it changes to green.
Technically I didn't stop!

 

[T_Herrod]

Re: 1999 Ford Ranger problems

Your problem sounds more like people driving with beer goggles on. As far as your brake issues,,,,, check you wire that feeds the brakes it could be grounding out. Most brake controllers use a blue wire for this.

 

[nwcove]

Re: 1999 Ford Ranger problems

You just need to recharge the unobtanium cartridge.

 

[frantically relaxing]

Re: 1999 Ford Ranger problems

Your truck thinks it's a motorcycle. Needs laser therapy-- ie: drive with the high beams on...

As for your semaphore/red activator problem, its a bad timing issue. No known cure, sorry...

 

[bowman316]

Re: 1999 Ford Ranger problems

You just need me driving behind you, I will suck up all of your bad luck, leaving you with nothing but good luck.

You will go thru the yellow light, and I will get a ticket for running the red light. lol

Why can't yellow lights just be a few seconds longer? you need lighting fast reaction time.

 

[JB]

Re: 1999 Ford Ranger problems

Your Ranger must have something similar to the transponder that follows me from vehicle to vehicle.

When vehicles with cell phones in use seek to enter the lane I am in the transponder makes my vehicle invisible, and when I approach a traffic light the transponder turns the light red.

I used to think that all traffic lights were equipped with a JB detector. Now I realize that there is also a JB vanisher in cell phones, too.

 

[roscoe]

Re: 1999 Ford Ranger problems

You obviously have a throttle issue with that truck.

If it were working properly, you would be traveling 15 mph faster.

You would be passed the car that wants to pull out in front of you, and through the
intersection before the light could turn red.

 

[glenn property of pam]

Re: 1999 Ford Ranger problems

ive heard of a "Klingon Bird of Prey Cloaking device", "spectral diffusion deflection" and even a "JB detector" but what the hell is a "cassette deck". maybe this "cassette deck" device is causing a disturbance in the space-time continuum (does it run on steam?)

 

[angus63]

Re: 1999 Ford Ranger problems

It' 14 yrs old....just puberty.

 

[southkogs]

Re: 1999 Ford Ranger problems

Check your flux-capacitor. If it's not glowing brightly, jiggle the handle.

 

[GA_Boater]

Re: 1999 Ford Ranger problems

I noticed your location - "Transplanted Virginian now in Greenville,Indiana". Is it possible that you are now located in an alternative universe which has different laws of physics than those you are accustomed to? Maybe Scotty has a work-around, check with him.

Another possibility is that you are no longer in Ford Country. Do you have mysterious targets that have appeared on your Ford?

 

[kenmyfam]

Re: 1999 Ford Ranger problems

It needs a new "Gangle Pin. However don't forget to install a new billabong clip to secure it.

 

[Kiwi Phil]

Re: 1999 Ford Ranger problems

I have found that as I get older, my B/S detector is getting better.

Cheers
Phillip

 

[lncoop]

Re: 1999 Ford Ranger problems

Check your flux-capacitor. If it's not glowing brightly, jiggle the handle.

Or add more trash. Does sound like he's not getting enough jigowatts.

 

[Bob_VT]

Re: 1999 Ford Ranger problems

Wow what a coincidence !!!!! The newest hobby in Vermont is cutting off and ignoring Red Ford Rangers........ The traffic signal sensors have all been re-calibrated and tuned to be activated when a Red Ford Ranger approaches.

Could be time to trade that in!

 

[81_chapparel194]

Re: 1999 Ford Ranger problems

you have a few problems.. first your alternator is about a pint low on fluid, your muffler bearing is warped and your transmission belt is broken... oh and your coagulation spring inside your madoodle thingie is stretched but its the madoodle thingy on your clock spring not the one on the radiator heater. your radiator warmer is functional right????

 

[generator12]

Re: 1999 Ford Ranger problems

It may not be the truck.

Do people stop talking and stare at you as you approach?

 

[aspeck]

Re: 1999 Ford Ranger problems

It may not be the truck.

Do people stop talking and stare at you as you approach?

Generator, I think you hit the nail on the head ... we have seen pictures :faint2::faint2:

 

[Tyme2fish]

Re: 1999 Ford Ranger problems

Generator, I think you hit the nail on the head ... we have seen pictures :faint2::faint2:

What you talkin' 'bout,Willis?