Kenneth Brown
Captain
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2003
- Messages
- 3,481
Mr. LF came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinko drunk, as<br />he often did, and crept into bed beside LF who was already<br />asleep.<br />He gave a peck on the cheek and fell asleep.<br />When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his<br />bed wearing a long flowing white robe. "Who the hell are you?" <br />Demanded Mr LF, "and what are you doing in my bedroom?".<br />The mysterious Man answered "This isn't your bedroom and I'm St<br />Peter".<br />Mr LF was stunned "You mean I'm dead!!! That can't be, I have so<br />much to<br />live for, I haven't said goodbye to my family.... you've got to<br />send me back straight away".<br />St Peter replied "Yes you can be reincarnated but there is a <br />catch. We can only send you back as a dog or a hen." Mr LF was <br />devasted, but knowing there was a farm not far from his house, he<br />asked to be sent back as a hen. A flash of light later he was <br />covered in feathers and clucking around pecking the ground. "This ain't so bad" he thought until he felt this strange feeling <br />welling up inside him.<br /><br />The farmyard rooster strolled over and said "So you're the new<br />hen, how are you enjoying your first day here?" "It's not so bad"<br /><br />replies Mr LF, "but I have this strange feeling inside like I'm about to<br />explode". "You're ovulating" explained the rooster, "don't tell<br />me you've never laid an egg before".<br />Never" replies Mr LF<br />"Well just relax and let it happen"<br />And so he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops<br />out from under his tail. An immense feeling of relief swept over him and<br />his emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the<br />first time. When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness<br />was overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was<br />the best<br />thing that ever happened to him... ever!!!<br /><br />The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg<br />he felt an enormous smack on the back of his head<br />and heard LF<br />shouting "Mr LF, wake up you drunken bas*ard, you're sh*tting the<br />bed"
