All You Practical Jokers -

[KilroyJC]

What are some of the practical jokes you've pulled?<br /><br />( this is a poorly-disguised attempt for gathering new ideas )<br />----------------------------------<br />One that I did involved the manager of the movie theater I worked for almost 20 years ago - along with almost every other store in the mall:<br /><br />Carl (the manager) was also a practica joker. He had gotten to almost everyone else in the theater except me, so I decided to "Do unto others BEFORe they do unto you".<br /><br />Every day, when Carl got in, the First thing he'd do when he got settled in was put on his Manager's Jacket. Then, before the theater opened, he'd go wandering around the mall, do a little shopping, etc.<br /><br />I got one of the anti-shoplifting stickers from one of the stores, and stuck it inside the cover of a book of matches. Then I put it in the lapel pocket of his Manager's Jacket.<br /><br />The next day, every store with the shoplifting sensors zapped him! What's funnier, is he came back into the office and started going on and on about what happened, how he was searched, how embarrassed he was, etc. Then he proceeds to show everyone that there's nothing in his pockets - and pulls out the book of matches. I thought it was all over right there, but it didn't register with him and he PUT THEM RIGHT BACK IN HIS POCKET!<br /><br />I don't know how I didn't bust out laughing right there.<br /><br />Carl doesn't smoke.<br /><br />SO, for about two weeks, every time he went in the mall the alarms go off. Poor guy is going out of his mind. Security just waves him through at this point - none of the stores check him anymore.<br /><br />The gig was finally up when there was a birthday party for one of the employees, and I was off that weekend. They needed matches for the candles on the cake, and Carl remembered that he had them in his pocket. When he opened up the book - that was it.<br /><br />I finally told him about a year later that I did it. We had gotten notified that the theater was being closed down & sold to another outfit, so I felt I had to tell him.

 

[brother chris]

Re: All You Practical Jokers -

<br />Very funny!

 

[oddjob]

Re: All You Practical Jokers -

LOL!good one.

 

[cpj]

Re: All You Practical Jokers -

Whenever we had a new guy start,we would have them ask one guy about his sisters piano lessons.The guy would tell him that that wasnt funny and then just walk off and look very upset.The new guy would wonder what he had done wrong.Then I would tell him that that guys sister had lost her hands in a farming accident.The new guy would feel awful.I would then ask him who told him to ask that.He would tell me, and I would say that you had to watch that guy cause he was a real jerk, and was always starting something.We would let it go untill the new guy went to appologize for what he had said.Then we would all laugh at him and say "GOTCHA"

 

[AK_Chappy]

Re: All You Practical Jokers -

Hmmmm let's see,<br /><br />I work in the aircraft mechanic field..<br />When we would get a new person,<br />Send them off to the tool room for a "Yard of flightline" (flightline is the parking area, taxiways, runways)<br />If they came back and said it was on backorder...(tool room played along)<br />Send them to the sheet metal repair shop for some<br />"K9P solvent" (no explanation necessary)<br />They usually came back and said SM had just ran out...<br />Get a serious look, say stuff like<br />"I have got to get this job done, and we aren't having any luck." <br />So, send them to the jet engine repair shop for a "1/2 gallon of propwash" (the air blown back from the props on an aircraft engine)<br />Still no luck,<br />Say stuff like, "Well while you were gone, we got it cleaned, now all I need is a 'Left-Handed screwdriver' and send them back to Tool Room."<br /><br />We spent the better part of one whole day and got these and more on one guy. Most people would figure it out pretty quick.<br /><br />AK Chappy

 

[AK_Chappy]

Re: All You Practical Jokers -

When I went to the NCO Academy, we pulled all kinds of stuff on our instructor.<br /><br />I put a remote control rat under the tv stand. When she went to put the video in the VCR, I made it run out. Got that on video.<br /><br />We put together a list of votes for what food we wanted for our grad meal. Gave her the "shocker pen" for her vote. Got that on video.<br /><br />Put a "shocker remote control" on her desk. Just let it sit until she used it. Got that on video also.<br /><br />Put together a CD and gave her a copy as our going away.<br /><br />Her favorite saying was "You smell what I'm stepping in?" So our grad gift to her was a pair of shoes mounted on a plaque with a fake pile under them. She loved it.<br /><br />AK Chappy

 

[Friz]

Re: All You Practical Jokers -

One of my buddies was having some difficulty with his Am Ex corporate card. After he explained his situation to the AmEx lady, he walked out leaving his card and copy of charges. I managed to get a quick photocopy then called him from another office explaining that it had been turned over to collections dept. I had that poor guy so upset that I thought he was gonna drive to AmEx and shoot someone.<br />I had to let him know it was me before he lost his mind.

 

[KilroyJC]

Re: All You Practical Jokers -

Chappy - <br /><br />The part of my signature line about the hologocile comes from my uncle who was an Air Force groundcrewman just after WWII - that was a routine that they had, similar to yours, and I wish he could remember the rest of it!<br /><br />I know you'll appreciate this - it's been on the 'net but this page has some additions:<br /> http://www.snopes.com/travel/airline/squawk.asp <br />My favorite is the one about the missing motor.<br /><br />My fther's cousin was a USN CPO/BT for 35 years. My favorite story of one he pulled was when he was part of a transfer crew in the '50's when some of our old destroyers were turned over to the Greek Navy. Seems they berthed him right under the forward gunmounts, and...well... you can imagine what happened. And despite repeated requests, he did not get a berth re-assignment.<br /><br />SO -<br /><br />On those vintage vessels there were no full showers - each crewman was issued ONE bucket of fresh water per day to wash up in, and there was a steam manifold with hooks and valves to hang the bucket under to heat the water, sortakinda like frothing milk for cappucino.<br /><br />Well, being a Boiler Technician, he started opeining and closing a couple valves at the designated wash-up times, and instead of live steam from the boilers coming up to heat the water, there was VACUUM sucking the water away.<br /><br />No reloads on buckets of fresh water were permitted due to the limited fresh-water generating capacity.<br /><br />He got his berth re-assignment rather quickly after that...

 

[theriver]

Re: All You Practical Jokers -

15 years ago I was managing a small department and after endorsing a letter I was mass mailing, I asked a new hire to assist in mailing the letters. Joke was he was educated, and had a good position etc, but I left him on his own to lick envelopes. Why he didn't use another method until I finally suggested it still cracks me up. He must still have that glue flavor in his mouth.<br />I'm evil!

 

[Pony]

Re: All You Practical Jokers -

I put an empty Kleenex box over the showerhead in my girlfriends bathroom......I got a nasty little phone call after she turned the shower on the next morning

 

[AK_Chappy]

Re: All You Practical Jokers -

Yeah Kilroy,<br />I've read those quite often. They still crack me up. Not because of the funniness of them, but because I know it is actually possible.<br />I have personally heard the job called across the radio "IFF inop in Official Mode" meaning when they turned the switch to OFF (official) it didn't work. I have signed off a write-up with "Try softer landings" and got in trouble for that one...but it was funny. <br />My wife was sent out to fix a job one time for a gauge that was written up as "guage is AFU" All Fogged up was what the pilot meant.<br />I have seen the write-up. <br />"Pilot's seat uncomfortable" and the fix was "Operational checked pilot's seat for four hours, no discomfort noted."<br /><br />So yeah, I can see the fix actions being entered... <br /><br />AK Chappy

 

[deputydawg]

Re: All You Practical Jokers -

Sat at a co-workers desk one night pulling all of his kleenex's out of the box, stapling the ends together, then placing neatly back in the box. He came in during alergy season, sneezed and grabbed a kleenex to wipe the stuff off his nose. The whole box came out with the first one.<br /><br />Got a greeting card with a noise maker inside that sounded like a phone ringing. Took this out of the card and rigged it to his desk so when he sat down it started ringing. Everyone else acted like we didn't hear a thing. That thing rang for several days.<br /><br />Have a member of our office staff that has 2 grandkids she talks about constantly. If I am in the office when she is there and someone else comes in, I will ask her how the grandkids are, then as soon as she starts talking I walk out. Whoever is in there is then stuck listening to stories of potty training, and looking at all the newest pictures.<br /><br />Anyone that leaves their patrol car running or leaves keys in them (even a few that don't as I have keys to all of the patrol cars), we used to move the car and hide it somewhere. Turned bad once when a hot call came in and the car was hidden.<br /><br />When we were kids we had a large fountain in the city park. Used to fill that with laundry detergent and watch the bubbles flow out around the bottom. ALso works well with water features in back yards.

 

[stan_deezy]

Re: All You Practical Jokers -

Well..........we used to have a little honey that worked with us. We wired the horn on her car to sound every time she braked <br />Then we stuck a sign on the rear of her car saying "Flash your lights if you fancy me".<br />Kept her confused for a few days <br /><br />Did the old trick of working out in the workshop, started up the chainsaw, let it run for a few minutes and then staggered in covered in tomato ketchup.......that was when I discovered that that particular girlfriend fainted at the sight of blood and I had to take her to hospital for a concussion <br /><br />Got an old door and frame and glued it to a wall in one of our Coastguard buildings: got a rollicking for that one.<br /><br />Did the old sleight of hand with a urine sample: swapped it for tea then dipped my finger in and licked it before pronouncing to the patient "Nope, you're not diabetic!" Patient nearly fainted. But even funnier was the student nurse who wanted to try the same trick. I said "sure why not" and then swapped the "tea sample" back again The look on his face when he licked his finger was priceless........

 

[Nos4r2]

Re: All You Practical Jokers -

Once worked on a roadbuilding site between jobs as a security guard. I was doing nightshifts with a load of African immigrant students who'd expect to go to sleep as soon as they got there, leaving me and one other guy to deal with all the protesters. We used to wait til it was quiet and they were well asleep then crawl up to them in the site landrover, position the bumper just above their head then sound the horn... Funnily enough they left fairly quickly.

 

[lark2004]

Re: All You Practical Jokers -

as a scale technitian, we used to send the new guy to the government measurement testing centre, and ask for a long weight (wait!)<br /><br />One guy never came back! (most canme back after about 5 hours, feeling abit silly for getting sucked in)

 

[Nos4r2]

Re: All You Practical Jokers -

Originally posted by lark2004:<br /> as a scale technitian, we used to send the new guy to the government measurement testing centre, and ask for a long weight (wait!)<br /><br />One guy never came back! (most canme back after about 5 hours, feeling abit silly for getting sucked in)

They tried that with me and a friend during my apprenticeship. We went to the pub and came back 3 hours later syaing 'they didn't have one'...<br /><br />Needless to say, they stopped doing that afterwards.

 

[KilroyJC]

Re: All You Practical Jokers -

Keep 'em coming! I Love it!<br /><br />Deputy dawg - I once put a handful of dots (the punch-outs from a paper punch) down the defrost vents of my sergeant's car. He never figured out that it was me - I told him when we were having a "difference of opinion" over each other's investigative capabilities. It was quite satisfying to see the look on his face when I said "You think you're so good? You still haven't figured that I dotted your car!" It wasn't too long after that when I was transferred...everyone thought it was punishment, but it was exactly what I wanted!<br /><br />Stan_deezy - the door is great - watched a couple cartoons as a kid, huh? And the horn/brake is priceless! I have to pass that on to a friend who's a mechanic for a local police department...<br /><br />Friz - be careful - people go postal...<br /><br />Lark & Nos4r2 - seems like every profession has its little "twists of a phrase" that can be put to good (bad?) use, huh?<br /><br />CPJ - that's mean!<br /><br />Pony - I think she'd be angrier if it were a full box...<br /><br />theriver - reminds me of that FedEx commercial: <br />"But I have an MBA!" <br />-"Oh, then I show you how to do it, then."<br /><br />LOVE IT!<br />MORE MORE MORE

 

[Bart Sr.]

Re: All You Practical Jokers -

Many many many years ago I was the night shift cook in a Waffle House and setup for the morning cook included a basket of eggs.The basket held about 15 dozen.I would put a hard boiled egg about 1/3 down in the basket.I never got to see it but definitely heard about it.<br /><br />>>>>>>>HAPPY WINTERIZING<<<<<<<

 

[deputydawg]

Re: All You Practical Jokers -

A good one on the chief, we put a handful of marbles, the good glass ones not the plastic ones, in his gas tank. Didn't hurt anything, but made a lot of noise when he was turning.<br /><br />When working surveillance at my old post on marijuana farms, we used to send the rookies to supply for Chem Light batteries. (chem lights = glow sticks)

 

[Copespitter]

Re: All You Practical Jokers -

This happened to my buddy Friday night.<br />He was at a small party with his wife and a few other couples.<br />One guy mentioned that its imposible to do a sit up with a towel placed over your face. The guy said its called an "Atomic Sit Up".<br />My buddy had a few beers in him and said he could do it.<br />My buddy lies down on the floor and locked his feet under the couch. One guy placed a towel over his head but held on to it and then another guy straddled over my buddy and dropped his pants and underwear exposing his hairy arse.<br />On the count of three my buddy gave it everything he had and flew upwards. Half way up the towel ripped off his head and his face buried into that guys arse.<br />I guess it got a good laugh. I wish I had been there to see it.