ARGH!! Read the cotton pickin' label, JB.

[JB]

My kids (all middle aged) are really into Texas cuisine. Salsa on everything. If it doesn't paralyze your taste buds it is wuss food.

Their Dad, on the other hand, is into west European cuisine. . . delicate flavors, sauces and gravy (Salsa is not a sauce. It is a destroyer of flavor.) Lots of veggies. . .either raw or steamed just enough to tenderize.

So there is the background for this tale of woe.

When we gather at The Hideout they always bring salsa and chips. LOML has not discovered that I can cook for myself, so she is always bringing me soup and various other dishes that I like and giving me detailed instructions on how to heat it up. ("Now just put it in the microwave for two and a half minutes.") Last time she brought me some homemade marinara (pasta) sauce. . . and the "kids" brought more salsa than they needed so they left a jar of it in my fridge, right beside the marinara sauce.

Today I decided on vegetable spaghetti (spaghetti squash), which I eat like pasta. Got it steamed and fluffed out of the shell, then reached in the fridge and grabbed a jar full of red stuff, which I slathered on the plate along with a good dose of parmesan.

Well, yeah. You figured it out. Veggie pasta with homemade 5 alarm salsa on it is inedible and yes, you can chugalug an entire bottle of chianti without stopping.:redface:

 

[cribber]

Re: ARGH!! Read the cotton pickin' label, JB.

That must have been one heck of a shocker expecting the subtle flavors of a nice marinara/spaghetti sauce and getting nailed with the heat from jalapeno chiles and salsa!!! You can always rinse the squash and start over or just Texmex it up.

 

[Maclin]

Re: ARGH!! Read the cotton pickin' label, JB.

Reminds me of an old joke, here is the punchline "...oh man, hurry up ice cream..."

 

[Bifflefan]

Re: ARGH!! Read the cotton pickin' label, JB.

My best friend is like that, food so hot you put in the microwave to cool it down.

He is always saying here try this... And thinks its funny when i say no. Im glad to hear that ther are others like me that enjoy the taste of something without needing to wait 24 hours for the taste buds to recover.

 

[kenmyfam]

Re: ARGH!! Read the cotton pickin' label, JB.

Any steam come out of your ears ??

 

[fishrdan]

Re: ARGH!! Read the cotton pickin' label, JB.

Reminds me of an old family story where my grandfather slathered his hamburger with ketchup and got a shocking surprise... The "ketchup" was Tabasco sauce, he didn't know what Tabasco was and thought it was runny ketchup...

 

[Bucks45]

Re: ARGH!! Read the cotton pickin' label, JB.

My best friend talked me into trying one of his "salsa burgers". He uses his homemade salsa (would burn a fireman), mixes it with hamburger, and puts it in the freezer just long enough to harden into a patty. Sounded horrible, but I love them. Your story makes me want to call and ask him to make a batch.

 

[jay_merrill]

Re: ARGH!! Read the cotton pickin' label, JB.

. . . and the "kids" brought more salsa than they needed so they left a jar of it in my fridge, right beside the marinara sauce.

I started laughing right here!

BTW, something that you will have a special appreciation of - a bunch of years ago, I decided to substitute habaneros for chilis when making a fresh, raw salsa. I had no idea how much hotter habaneros are and used the same amount of peppers, as I would have when using chiles.

Ever seen a then, forty something fat boy break dance?



???

 

[HANGEYE]

Re: ARGH!! Read the cotton pickin' label, JB.

Had some folks over last night, one of them, my ex-brother inlaw. I was making sandwiches for the bunch and asked my ex-brother inlaw if he would like a "little" horseradish on his ham sandwich. He said "sure, I love horseradish." Well I have a product called NASAL NAPALM the likes of which I added to his sandwich in a vast quantity. One bite put that man through some changes he was not expecting. After all had a good laugh and the tears and snot were cleaned up we proceded to enjoy the rest of the evening. Good thing we get along well with each other because he is a rather large individual.

 

[SuzukiChopper]

Re: ARGH!! Read the cotton pickin' label, JB.

I can stand the occasional spicy dish, but I'm like you JB... give me something flavorful that I can enjoy. Last night I actually made a batch of chilli for my lady to take to work for their pot luck, slow cooked in a crock pot too. Nice flavor up front and then a little kick of spice... something I could handle so anyone should be able to. Hot sauce on the side for anyone who wants to burn the carp out of their innards.

jay_merrill, I can picture what you're describing. Those habaneros are deadly. A friend of mine had a hot sauce that came in a little wooden casket made of those things. I put a little drop on my pinkie and then on my tongue. My pinkie started tingling, but I forgot about that once I started coughing up a lung for the next 30 minutes. Terrible!!

 

[billy4hp]

Re: ARGH!! Read the cotton pickin' label, JB.

It all depends on what foods you are used to. I lived in the south west for over 25 years and recently moved to the pacific northwest. To my palate, there is nothing more flavorful than a nice green chile stew, tamale, even a simple pickled jalepeno, seeds and all.

Needless to say the food up here is pretty bland compared to what I am used to. Even my four year old son has been eating hot salsa since he was two years old, we were at a mexican food restaurant in Phoenix and he took one of my hot salsa covered chips off my plate and took a bite before I could stop him. He liked it and has been hooked on chips and hot salsa ever since...

Now when we dine out, I often bring my own small bottle of hot sauce with me. Even to the local mexican food restaurants as they tame down the food to not chase off the local taste buds....

Good story though, made me smile...

Happy Holidays....

 

[Sikiguya]

Re: ARGH!! Read the cotton pickin' label, JB.

If you want to test your friends who swears they can eat anything spicy..get Dave's Insanity Sauce. I use it to cook chili sometimes...by sticking a toothpick into the bottle and then putting it into the pot of chili. You will see people running outside and sticking a garden hose in their mouth if they try to be macho!...by the way..it is a slow but increase very quickly...

 

[soggy_feet]

Re: ARGH!! Read the cotton pickin' label, JB.

I've had insanity sauce.

fully submerged toothpick straight into the mouth. not pleasant.

Was at a steakhouse 2 days ago and some guy out of nowhere asks me and my friend if we like spicy food. My friend I guess is smarter than me, he declined. I said 'spicy? sure!'

As my homemade sauce soaked steak fry was already on its way to my mouth he warned that I only needed a tiny bit. Too lake, and the momentum of my arm to my mouth (and the fact that Id already had a few beers) was too much. A drip hit my lip before the fry was totally in my mouth and it was INSTANT BURN. I've never felt a faster or hotter burn. I was hurtin for a while...

 

[Bearfan]

Re: ARGH!! Read the cotton pickin' label, JB.

Never keep homemade tomato soup next to homemade hot sauce...been there.

 

[Home Cookin']

Re: ARGH!! Read the cotton pickin' label, JB.

Mo hotta mo betta

 

[MRS]

Re: ARGH!! Read the cotton pickin' label, JB.

Ever seen a then, forty something fat boy break dance?

Jay, now that is really funny made me spit my drink up.