Chicago Bears

Fishing Dude too

Lieutenant Junior Grade
Joined
May 13, 2011
Messages
1,035
The coach had put together the perfect team for the Chicago Bears.
The only thing that was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the
colleges and even the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn't
find a ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl win.

Then one night while watching CNN he saw a war-zone scene in the West Bank .
In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Israeli soldier
with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight into a 15th story
window 100 yards away.
KABOOM!
He threw another hand-grenade 75 yards away, right into a chimney.
KA-BLOOEY!
Then he threw another at a passing car going 90 mph.
BULLS-EYE!
"I've got to get this guy!" Coach said to himself. "He has the perfect arm!"
So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of
football.

And the Bears go on to win the Super Bowl.

The young man is hailed as the great hero of football, and when the
coach asks him what he wants, all the young man wants is to call his mother.

"Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl!"
"I don't want to talk to you," the old woman says."You are not my son!"
"I don't think you understand, Mother," the young man pleads. "I've
won the
greatest sporting event in the world. I'm here among thousands of my
adoring
fans."

"No! Let me tell you!" his mother retorts. "At this very moment,
there are
gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two
brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I
have to
keep your sister in the house so she doesn't get raped!" The old lady
pauses, and then tearfully says,

"I will never forgive you for making us move to Chicago !!!!"
 

Tim Frank

Vice Admiral
Joined
Jul 29, 2008
Messages
5,346
Re: Chicago Bears

It's the first day of school and the teacher thought she'd get to know
the kids by asking them their name and what their father does for a living.

The first little girl says: "My name is Mary Anderson and my daddy is a postman."
The next little boy says: "I'm Andy Stevens and my Dad is a mechanic."
Then one little boy says: "My name is Jimmy Clark and my father is a striptease dancer in a cabaret for gay men."

The teacher gasps and quickly changes the subject, but later in the school yard the teacher approaches Jimmy privately and asks if it was really true that his Dad dances nude in a gay bar.

Jimmy blushes and says, "No teacher I'm sorry, but my dad plays <insert sport du jour> for the <insert team du jour>, and I was just too embarrassed to say so."



Those jokes are just wrong!
:mad-new:
 
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