I got this a coupla days ago and thought some of ya'll might find it funny.<br /><br />c/6<br /><br />Hooty<br /><br />COMPREHENDING ENGINEERS . . . <br />TAKE ONE<br />To the optimist, the glass is half full.<br />To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.<br />To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.<br /><br />COMPREHENDING ENGINEERS . . . <br />TAKE TWO<br />A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a<br />particularly slow group of golfers.<br />The engineer fumed: "What's with these guys? We must have been<br />waiting for 15 minutes!"<br />The doctor chimed in: "I don't know, but I've never seen such<br />ineptitude!"<br />The pastor said: "Hey, here comes the green keeper. Let's have a<br />word with him." ..... "Hi, George what's with that group ahead of<br />us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"<br />The green keeper replied: "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind<br />fire-fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a<br />fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."<br />The group was silent for a moment. The pastor said: "That's<br />so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."<br />The doctor said: "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my<br />ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for<br />them."<br />The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"<br /><br />COMPREHENDING ENGINEERS . . .<br />TAKE THREE<br />There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all<br />things mechanical. After serving his company loyally for over 30<br />years, he happily retired. Several years later the company contacted <br />him regarding a seemingly impossible problem they were having with <br />one of their multimillion-dollar machines. They had tried everything and <br />everyone else to get the machine to work but to no avail.<br /><br />In desperation, they called on the retired engineer who had solved<br />so many of their problems in the past. The engineer reluctantly took <br />the challenge. He spent a day studying the huge machine. At the end <br />of the day, he marked a small "x" in chalk on a particular component <br />of the machine and stated: This is where your problem is".<br /><br />The part was replaced and the machine worked perfectly again. The<br />company received a bill for $50,000 from the engineer for his service. <br />They demanded an itemized accounting of his charges.<br /><br />The engineer responded briefly:<br />One chalk mark: $1.00<br />Knowing where to put it: $49,999.00.<br /><br />It was paid in full and the engineer retired again in peace.<br /><br />COMPREHENDING ENGINEERS . . . <br />TAKE FOUR<br />What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil<br />Engineers?<br />Mechanical Engineers build weapons.<br />Civil Engineers build targets.<br /><br />COMPREHENDING ENGINEERS . . . <br />TAKE FIVE<br />The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"<br />The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"<br />The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it<br />cost?"<br />The graduate with an Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with<br />that?"<br /><br />COMPREHENDING ENGINEERS . . . <br />TAKE SIX<br />Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.<br />Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough<br />features yet.<br /><br />COMPREHENDING ENGINEERS . . . <br />TAKE SEVEN<br />An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it<br />was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress.<br />The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid<br />foundation for an enduring relationship.<br />The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the<br />passion and mystery he found there.<br />The engineer said he liked both because if you have a wife and a<br />mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the <br />other woman, and you can go to the lab and get some work done.<br /><br />COMPREHENDING ENGINEERS . . . <br />TAKE EIGHT<br />An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to<br />him and said "If you kiss me I'll turn into a beautiful princess".<br />He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog<br />spoke up again and said: "If you kiss me and turn me back into a<br />beautiful princess, I'll stay with you."<br />The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and<br />returned it to the pocket.<br />The frog then cried out: "If you kiss me and turn me back into a<br />princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want." Again the<br />engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his<br />pocket.<br />Finally the frog asked: "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a<br />beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you and do anything you<br />want. Why won't you kiss me?"<br />The engineer said: "Look I'm an engineer. I don't have any time <br />for a girlfriend, but a talking frog . . . now that's really cool !<br /><br />=======================================================
