FUNNY Boating Stories (not really stupid, just funny) Let's hear yours!

[croSSed]

Like the thread title says, post something here that happened to you that was not really stupid, but was funny. You know, you were operating your craft in a reasonable, safe manner, and something happened that - after it happened, at least - was funny. Here's mine:

I was in my 20's and was on vacation in early August with my family at a lake that we frequented on vacation. We were coming in in my dad's 16' runabout after an afternoon of fishing. The boat was a closed bow number with a walk-through windshield allowing you to use the bow as a walk-way. The boat also had a cleat near the middle of the bow deck for tieing off. I'm piloting the boat, and my dad gets up on the bow and sits down, intending to jump off the bow onto the dock to get our tow vehicle, while I backed away after he made the transition from boat to dock. I'm idling in expertly, right on target for him to safely jump up onto the dock. When I get about 10' from the dock, out of the blue my dad suddenly turns to me and starts saying, "back-up! back-up!" I look at him and say, "why, what's the matter?" We're clear to get to the dock. I see no problems as we are headed in. He says, VERY animatedly, "Just back up!" He has somewhat of a panicked look on his face; my interpretation of it at the time was that I must be doing something VERY wrong in my navigational efforts to safely get us to the dock. I'm thinking, "what in the world is the matter?" A guy on the dock notices the commotion and starts saying to my dad, "hey everything's alright, I got you", while holding out his hand in offer of support. My dad says to me, "JUST BACK UP!!" So, in frustration, I ram the thing in reverse and back away. Once we get a few yards from the dock, my dad turns around towards me with a pained expression on his face, and reaches for his groin. "&%^*", he says, "I caught my scrotum on the cleat! It feels like I should be bleeding!" I TOTALLY fall off my seat laughing.

TG

 

[Windykid]

Re: FUNNY Boating Stories (not really stupid, just funny) Let's hear yours!

OUCH!!!!!

 

[MacGizmo]

Re: FUNNY Boating Stories (not really stupid, just funny) Let's hear yours!

must have hurt:redface:

 

[wildmaninal]

Re: FUNNY Boating Stories (not really stupid, just funny) Let's hear yours!

Go figure old thread again. Yup that would suck. And I know what you mean about operating somebody elses belongings or equipment in your case it was your father's boat, in my case it was my father's tractor with a front end loader. I know how to drive the darn tractor dad, and I can't lower the loader down anymore or else I'll end up crushing you, he gets agrevated when I operate the thing at a safe speed or in the direction of my own, one time "I just said you do it" "I'm done" and walked off.

 

[jay_merrill]

Re: FUNNY Boating Stories (not really stupid, just funny) Let's hear yours!

Not strictly a boating story but related:

My grandfather lived on a beautiful saltwater pond in New England. We spent all of our summers there no matter where we were living at the time. That meant, of course, that all the family pets came too.

One summer we had a new cat that was essentailly full grown by the summer. Grand-dad's dock extended out into the water about 100 feet and had an L-shaped end with bench seat on it. I was sitting on it watching a seagull that had landed on a post a few feet away, waiting to see if I was going to come up with any of the remains that we often fed them after cleaning fish. The cat, which was at the head of the dock, began a stalking approach towards the bird as I watched. As it got closer, the bird began to eyeball it with a semi-interested look. Soon enough, our cat was within striking range and bolted into a full fledged run and flying leap at the seagull. With a couple of flaps of its wings, the gull basically elevated in place while the cat sailed underneath it straight into the pond, and then landed right back were it had been all the time.

I think I damn near fell into the pond myself, laughing at this. The bird just sat there looking at the cat in the water and the cat kept giving out the most miserable meows you have ever heard. BTW, cats are actually excellent swimmers and it made it back to shore just fine.

 

[wildmaninal]

Re: FUNNY Boating Stories (not really stupid, just funny) Let's hear yours!

LOL jay_merrill, I could visualize that seen. That would of been a good one to send to America's funniest videos. Poor kitty kitty lol.

 

[SgtMaj]

Re: FUNNY Boating Stories (not really stupid, just funny) Let's hear yours!

That is good jay. You really should keep a video cam on that cat... that would have definately been the 10,000 dollar winner right there.

 

[jay_merrill]

Re: FUNNY Boating Stories (not really stupid, just funny) Let's hear yours!

True, but it happened in about 1965 so I'm out of luck on that one. If only I could replay the very vivid memory of it that I have in my mind! It was just one of those things that stay with you forever.

 

[SpinnerBait_Nut]

Re: FUNNY Boating Stories (not really stupid, just funny) Let's hear yours!

Ok, here goes. Way back, I think in 1994, bought a brand new Stratos 257. Boy was I proud.

The wife and I had always made a yearly trip to Dale Hollow in Dec. to fish a small mouth tourney they put on ever year.

Now remember, this is a brand new boat.
We get there and I load up stuff and am walking around, my head about 2 sizes bigger than normal.

Now this is a widely fished tourney with a 100+ boats in it.
Buddy style.

Well, we wait our turn to back in and unload and I am in boat, head still swelled up looking around at everyone else and could see they were real jealous and then it was our turn.

Wife does her best job backing me in water, I fire the black boy up, she eases me into the water and proceed to back on out to get around to our slip when I noticed that she was a sitting a little low in the rear and the auto bilge pump was on pumping some water out. I then thought to self, "Self, me thinks you left the plug out and you are in 50' of water".

Yep and you should have seen me getting around that dock to my slip.
Got in slip, grabbed plug from transom area and bailed in.
Man did I feel stupid and my head quickly got about 4 sizes smaller all of a sudden.:redface:

Not only that, we are talking Dec. and the water was cold.
Everyone is still looking at me, but it's not the look of jealousy this time.

 

[jay_merrill]

Re: FUNNY Boating Stories (not really stupid, just funny) Let's hear yours!

Not too worry. I'd say most of us have done that one time or another. My usual mental lapse is to forget to unhook the winch strap after I remove the safety line that I use on the bow to back up the winch strap. There are a bunch of old timers who hang out most every day at my local boat launch, critiqueing everything that everyone does. Boy, do I feel dumb as they chuckle at me trying to figure out why the boat won't launch before it hits me what I have done!

 

[rndn]

Re: FUNNY Boating Stories (not really stupid, just funny) Let's hear yours!

There's always something to bring ones head back down to size.

 

[oops!]

Re: FUNNY Boating Stories (not really stupid, just funny) Let's hear yours!

good one spinner!

hope the gave ya a trophy!
best transome dive?
or mabe fastest voice change? (after hitting the cold water)

cheers and hope ya dont hafta dive again!

 

[achris]

Re: FUNNY Boating Stories (not really stupid, just funny) Let's hear yours!

Was on a dive charter once when one of the other divers was gearing up. He had all the gear on and was ready to go over the side, expect for his 'tail-flap'. He leaned against the railing on the side of the boat, pulled his tail-flap up and rolled over.... To his surprise, and everybody else's amusement, he was now suspended 3 feet above the water, just hanging there. He'd pulled his tail-flap over the hand rail. We all ROFLMAO....

Chris.........

 

[joed]

Re: FUNNY Boating Stories (not really stupid, just funny) Let's hear yours!

Oddest thing thing saw was while out fishing10 miles out in the middle of Lake Erie. Very calm and hot day. Not a ripple on the water. There were many boats out trolling with their downriggers and planer boards. You had to constantly watch your course so you didn't get crossed up. I go past one boat and there kid in the water behind the boat with a life jacket. He is tied to the boat by a rope and being dragged along as the boats trolls for walleye.
I thought my self trolling for sharks if he wasn't in a fresh water lake.

 

[jasonh]

Re: FUNNY Boating Stories (not really stupid, just funny) Let's hear yours!

Growing up, my parents had a weekend lakehouse we frequented during the summer. I invited a friend to come up one weekend who had just moved to Texas from MA. He had never been in a boat, swam at a lake, or even knew the concept of a water ski. He warmed up to it fast and soon wanted to try out the "zip sled" - a long blue plastic device one laid on while the boat towed you. It had a subtle upturned nose that dictated the top from the bottom though. Dad chucked it into the water and my friend clamored on top of it to get ready. No one thought to check for it being the right side up. He was hanging onto the handle and nervously said "go!". Dad hits the gas on our old Sea Sprite and we take off. Within seconds the boat is straining and slowing and it was then I noticed the rope leading to the zip sled is angled towards the bottom of the lake. When he took off, the sled bit into the water and went straight under taking my friend with it. After a second the rope started moving upward and soon the sled appeared back on the surface with a gasping and sputtering kid trying to catch his breath. My dad was roaring with laughter but my friend did NOT think it was funny and later confessed he suspected he was a victim of some sort of Texas hazing deal. He was content to just ride in the boat after that.

 

[kyle f]

Re: FUNNY Boating Stories (not really stupid, just funny) Let's hear yours!

Growing up, my parents had a weekend lakehouse we frequented during the summer. I invited a friend to come up one weekend who had just moved to Texas from MA. He had never been in a boat, swam at a lake, or even knew the concept of a water ski. He warmed up to it fast and soon wanted to try out the "zip sled" - a long blue plastic device one laid on while the boat towed you. It had a subtle upturned nose that dictated the top from the bottom though. Dad chucked it into the water and my friend clamored on top of it to get ready. No one thought to check for it being the right side up. He was hanging onto the handle and nervously said "go!". Dad hits the gas on our old Sea Sprite and we take off. Within seconds the boat is straining and slowing and it was then I noticed the rope leading to the zip sled is angled towards the bottom of the lake. When he took off, the sled bit into the water and went straight under taking my friend with it. After a second the rope started moving upward and soon the sled appeared back on the surface with a gasping and sputtering kid trying to catch his breath. My dad was roaring with laughter but my friend did NOT think it was funny and later confessed he suspected he was a victim of some sort of Texas hazing deal. He was content to just ride in the boat after that.

I had a friends son actually conciously decide to try riding a tube upside down behind my boat this past summer. I didn't notice it when he said "ready" and I turned to confirm he was on and holding on. I could see he was laying on top of the single person tube, and had ahold of the handles... but by the way most peole lay accross the center hole (Covered on bottom) I couldn't tell there was no hole face up.

Hit the gas, and the canvas covering started to fill with water like a parachute. I noticed the boat didn;t take of like usual, so I turn my head about 5 seconds after hitting the gas and I see him dangling off a deformed towable (couldn;t really be called a tube at this point) and cut the throttle. He was laughing his butt off until he realized that the experenced boated in the boat were not pleased because we new we were going to have to deflate it to get the canvas back on, and return to the marina. We have our electric air pump on our friends House boat.

That Hurt 30 minutes of out Labor Day fun.

Yes, he had been on Tubes enough to know better. He was just trying to be a 15 year old show off.

 

[Arima90]

Re: FUNNY Boating Stories (not really stupid, just funny) Let's hear yours!

Ok, having spent most of my youth on our barge or tender in Southeast Alaska I may have a few stories. Here's a short but funny one. Growing up we always had dogs and cats with us. One day, my dad had picked up some line (rope) in the screw, however, he was able to limp into bay and tie up to the barge. It wasn't coming out with forward-reverse combinations so we had a diver (local fisherman, most likely drunk, with wet suite) get down there to cut it out. After a few minutes of him under the boat the diver came back up with a very unusual request. "Please get your dog out of the water (Chesapeake retriever) because he keeps diving down and scaring the hell out of me". Turns out, and we didn't know before hand, our water loving dog could dive.

Could you imagine, your focused on this line wrapped around this shaft, it's dark and all you have is this flashlight, something bumps you, you turn to look and AHHHH it's a curly haired Chesapeake Sea Dog attacking you.

 

[Big Ron]

Re: FUNNY Boating Stories (not really stupid, just funny) Let's hear yours!

Back in 1986 I bought a brand new Smokercraft "Big Fisherman". It might have been the second or third time I had it in the water.
Well anyway, I'm out on the Pecatonica River (anybody know where that river is) fishing away and get caught in a real heavy downpour. Of course the boat has no bilge pump, so after several minutes I am about ankle deep in water.
So I have the brilliant idea of planing the boat out and pulling the plug to let the water drain out. Good idea I thought at the time.
So I get the boat planed out and pull the plug and the water is running out just fine. Well I had laid the plug on the bench beside me and lo and behold it rolled off the bench and into the water in the bottom of the boat and I can't find it.
I am cruising down the river wide open when suddenly I come to a 90 degree bend in the river and I have to slow down, so you know what happens then, the water comes gushing back into the boat.
I get around the bend and try to open her up again, by this time the boat has so much water in it the motor just kind of lugs along.
I finally get back to the boat landing with the boat full of water, what a sight.
So anyway I get my boat trailer backed into the water and start cranking the boat onto the trailer, man is it heavy with all that water in it.
I get cranked about half way on to trailer and all of a sudden SNAP, the rope breaks and the boat starts sliding off the trailer back into the river. Oh no I am going to lose my brand new boat, I am thinking, when all of a sudden two guys show up and save the day and help me get the boat out of the water.
One of the guys asks me what happened and I tell him and of course they start rolling on the ground laughing. It really was funny.
Needless to say the next day I go out and buy a bilge pump.

 

[oops!]

Re: FUNNY Boating Stories (not really stupid, just funny) Let's hear yours!

Back in 1986 I bought a brand new Smokercraft "Big Fisherman". It might have been the second or third time I had it in the water.
Well anyway, I'm out on the Pecatonica River (anybody know where that river is) fishing away and get caught in a real heavy downpour. Of course the boat has no bilge pump, so after several minutes I am about ankle deep in water.
So I have the brilliant idea of planing the boat out and pulling the plug to let the water drain out. Good idea I thought at the time.
So I get the boat planed out and pull the plug and the water is running out just fine. Well I had laid the plug on the bench beside me and lo and behold it rolled off the bench and into the water in the bottom of the boat and I can't find it.
I am cruising down the river wide open when suddenly I come to a 90 degree bend in the river and I have to slow down, so you know what happens then, the water comes gushing back into the boat.
I get around the bend and try to open her up again, by this time the boat has so much water in it the motor just kind of lugs along.
I finally get back to the boat landing with the boat full of water, what a sight.
So anyway I get my boat trailer backed into the water and start cranking the boat onto the trailer, man is it heavy with all that water in it.
I get cranked about half way on to trailer and all of a sudden SNAP, the rope breaks and the boat starts sliding off the trailer back into the river. Oh no I am going to lose my brand new boat, I am thinking, when all of a sudden two guys show up and save the day and help me get the boat out of the water.
One of the guys asks me what happened and I tell him and of course they start rolling on the ground laughing. It really was funny.
Needless to say the next day I go out and buy a bilge pump.

can u say panic?????
thats funny

might i suggest another plug in the glove box

 

[whywhyzed]

Re: FUNNY Boating Stories (not really stupid, just funny) Let's hear yours!

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