I don't need anything

[Tyme2fish]

A teacher goes around her class asking each of the kids what do they need at
home.

1st kid says "A computer".
Teacher replies "That'd be very useful."

2nd kid says "A new lawn mower" and gets a similar response.

Little Johnny pops up and says: "At my house we don't need anything."

The teacher asks him to think again carefully as everybody needs something.

Little Johnny replies, "Nope I'm sure! When my sister started dating a banjo player
I remember Dad saying, "Well, that's the last thing we need"


I cleaned this joke up a little bit. You may insert an expletive deleted adjective in front of "thing" or exchange a religion or ethnic group in place of "banjo player."

 

[rivermouse]

Re: I don't need anything

Here is another one.. The school teacher had a class and she asked each student what was their favorite animal, Little Sue stood up and said "Kitty cats" Teacher then moved to Billy and asked what was his favorite animal and he said "doggies" then he moved on and asked little Waldo what his favorite animal was and he said ...... FRIED CHICKEN...

 

[Tyme2fish]

Re: I don't need anything

Here is another one.. The school teacher had a class and she asked each student what was their favorite animal, Little Sue stood up and said "Kitty cats" Teacher then moved to Billy and asked what was his favorite animal and he said "doggies" then he moved on and asked little Waldo what his favorite animal was and he said ...... FRIED CHICKEN...

rivermouse, just to expand a little ( and I love your answer)


Our teacher asked us what our favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried
chicken." She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right because
everyone else in the class laughed.

My parents told me to always be truthful and honest, and I am. Fried
chicken is my favorite animal. I told my dad what happened, and
he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA. He said they love
animals very much. I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef.

Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's office. I told him what
happened, and he laughed too. Then he told me not to do it again.

The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal
was. I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, just like she'd
asked the other children. So I told her it was because you could make
them into fried chicken. She sent me back to the principal's office
again. He laughed, and told me not to do it any more.

I don't understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher
doesn't like it when I am. Today, my teacher asked us to tell her what
famous person we admire most.

I told her, "Colonel Sanders".

Guess where I am now.......

 

[NewfieDan]

Re: I don't need anything

One day a teacher asked her students to come up with a sentence that contained the word beautiful.

One little girl spoke up, "My mother bought a new dress and it is beautiful." The teacher said very good Suzy. Of course at the back of the roomis Johnny with his hand waving wildly in the air.

Another little boy was asked and his answer was, "My dad just had his beautiful red Corvete out this past weekend." The teacher said v that Micheal's answer was also very good.

Finally the teacher picked Johnny to answer. Johnny's answer was, "Last night my daughter told the family that she was pregnant."

"But Johnny, you didn't use the word beautiful."

Johnny replied, "Dad said beautiful, just fu$&@&g beautiful."