Re: I really need help on this one
Stumbled on this topic and I had to post. For what its worth I think you guys are great just for replying to this most serious post but I have/had a similar situation. I am not advising you here but giving you somthing to think about.<br />This is a long post, You other guys please don't complain to admin. Skip over it if you don't like it. But its very important to me even if I have to lose membership, small price to pay if it helps at all. <br /> <br /> My wife of 25 years had a two year old son when we married. The boys father was a piece of ****(Sorry,admin No other word will do in this case) then and still is today. Even though he couldn't care less for that boy he was determined (successfully by the way) to destroy and undermine everything good that I attempted for Chris. After years and years of trying to reach out to Chris every other weekend and even two or three times each week via telephone. The good was washed out and the garbage was put back in by his father. I got locked up twice for kicking his "fathers" ***, once in my yard the second time in his living room. (Judge dropped charges both times) I let the cops convience me that I needed to just step back because there was nothing me or anyone else could do. Chris was 15 by that time. I gave up trying after all "there was nothing I could do" well on chris's 18th birthday (the one I was hoping would change things) I had to sit a hear a judge sentence a very young confused boy to 14 years in prision on an aggravated assualt charge that "thank God" and good doctors wasn't a murder charge for stabbing a guy in a drunken bar room brawl with a weapon he told me his father gave him for his sixtenth birthday and taught him to use and carry. <br />We were divestated and for the next 7 years twice a month more or less we spent our weekends in prison visitation rooms all over the state. Happy to report that he is home now on parole and as it turns out that 18th Birthday was a great day because I was finally able to spend some really emotional and meaningfull time with my Son. His "father" tried to talk to chris for the first time since the night of the stabbing a couple of weeks ago. Did not suprise me one bit. I again am happy to say that he told him never to contact him again. Long long story I know but, and please do not take my experince for any more than it worth and I can't advise you but, as for me, if I could do it all over again. I would never ever, ever, stop trying to find a way to reach out to that child that despritly needs a father who can kept him on the right path. Never let any one tell me that there was nothing I could do. There is always something you can do. Write letters to the President if you have to, make someone listen to your concerns. If you are already feeling that he is headed for trouble, I can promise you he probably is. No Judge in his write mind would lock you up for helping this child (don't kidnap to take him fishing) Is ther a big brother org. you can talk to or boys club if you give up on this child by the time he is 18 it's too. You are a 1/2 block away. Please don't let him think that you gave up on him. You are doing the right things now but do more way more. You have got to settle this deal with his mother. If she loves that child at all she will understand how important it is. If she doesn't care about that boy then you may have to speck with Social Socity to have him removed from her care. Do what ever it takes. Believe me when I say that you will never forgive yourself if you don't. <br /><br />Good luck, I will be glad to help any way I can. <br /><br />Sincerely,<br /><br />Mark (karmrd)
