Limited-Time
Vice Admiral
- Joined
- Mar 30, 2005
- Messages
- 5,820
Southernness
>
> Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a
conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.
> _____
>
> Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens,
peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."
> _____
>
> Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction
of "yonder."
> _____
>
> Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, ... as in:
"Going to town, be back directly."
> _____
>
> Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request
for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little
bowl in the middle of the table.
> _____
>
> All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use
the term, but they! know the concept well.
> _____
>
> Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace
for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a
big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real
crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!
> _____
>
> Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near"
and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be
1 mile or 20.
> _____
>
> Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between
a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
> _____
>
> No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing
turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
> _____
>
> A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an
adverb.
> _____
>
> Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, ... and when
we're "in line," . we talk to everybody!
> _____
>
> Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're
related, even if only by marriage.
> _____
>
> In the South, y'all is singular, .... all y'all is plural.
> _____
>
> Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
> _____
>
> Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee
are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food;
and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
> _____
>
> When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know
you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
> _____
>
> Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea
indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea
unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
> _____
>
> And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little
old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,"Bless her
heart" ... and go your own way.
> _____
>
> To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your
Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call
me in the morning. Bless your heart!
> _____
> And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding
all this Southern stuff, ... bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin'
to have classes on Southernness as a second language!
> _____
>
> And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a
long time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls front porch that
reads "I ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could. "
> ____
>
> Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a
conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.
> _____
>
> Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens,
peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."
> _____
>
> Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction
of "yonder."
> _____
>
> Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, ... as in:
"Going to town, be back directly."
> _____
>
> Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request
for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little
bowl in the middle of the table.
> _____
>
> All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use
the term, but they! know the concept well.
> _____
>
> Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace
for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a
big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real
crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!
> _____
>
> Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near"
and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be
1 mile or 20.
> _____
>
> Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between
a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
> _____
>
> No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing
turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
> _____
>
> A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an
adverb.
> _____
>
> Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, ... and when
we're "in line," . we talk to everybody!
> _____
>
> Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're
related, even if only by marriage.
> _____
>
> In the South, y'all is singular, .... all y'all is plural.
> _____
>
> Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
> _____
>
> Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee
are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food;
and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
> _____
>
> When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know
you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
> _____
>
> Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea
indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea
unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
> _____
>
> And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little
old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,"Bless her
heart" ... and go your own way.
> _____
>
> To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your
Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call
me in the morning. Bless your heart!
> _____
> And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding
all this Southern stuff, ... bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin'
to have classes on Southernness as a second language!
> _____
>
> And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a
long time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls front porch that
reads "I ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could. "
> ____
d
