bucky7680
Petty Officer 1st Class
- Joined
- Jul 12, 2006
- Messages
- 296
DISCLAIMER: I love my wife dearly and women in general.
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
Why is a Laundromat a bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
Why do woman have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts her sentence "A man once told me..."
How do you fix a womans watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
If you dog is barking at the back door and you wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told.
I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months:
I don't like to interrupt her.
What do you call a woman who has lost 90% of her intelligence?
Divorsed.
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called Wedding Cake.
Marriage is a 3-ring circus:
Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring, Suffer-Ring.
Our last fight was my fault.
My wife asked me "What's on the TV?" I said. "Dust!"
In the beginning, God created the Earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
Why is a Laundromat a bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
Why do woman have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts her sentence "A man once told me..."
How do you fix a womans watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
If you dog is barking at the back door and you wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told.
I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months:
I don't like to interrupt her.
What do you call a woman who has lost 90% of her intelligence?
Divorsed.
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called Wedding Cake.
Marriage is a 3-ring circus:
Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring, Suffer-Ring.
Our last fight was my fault.
My wife asked me "What's on the TV?" I said. "Dust!"
In the beginning, God created the Earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
