MR. PRESIDENT, I'M HEADED TO MEXICO<br /><br /><br />David M. Bresnahan<br />April 1, 2006<br />NewsWithViews.com<br /><br />Dear President Bush:<br /><br />I'm about to plan a little trip with my family and extended family,<br />and I would like to ask you to assist me. I'm going to walk across<br />the border from the U.S. into Mexico, and I need to make a few<br />arrangements. I know you can help with this.<br /><br />I plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas, passports,<br />immigration quotas and laws. I'm sure they handle those things the<br />same way you do here.<br /><br />So, would you mind telling your buddy, President Vicente Fox, that<br />I'm on my way over? Please let him know that I will be expecting<br />the following:<br /><br />1. Free medical care for my entire family.<br /><br />2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might<br />need, whether I use them or not.<br /><br />3. All government forms need to be printed in English.<br /><br />4. I want my kids to be taught by English-speaking teachers.<br /><br />5. Schools need to include classes on American culture and history.<br /><br />6. I want my kids to see the American flag flying on the top of the<br />flag pole at their school with the Mexican flag flying lower down.<br /><br />7. Please plan to feed my kids at school for both breakfast and lunch.<br /><br />8. I will need a local Mexican driver's license so I can get easy<br />access to government services.<br /><br />9. I do not plan to have any car insurance, and I won't make any<br />effort to learn local traffic laws.<br /><br />10. In case one of the Mexican police officers does not get the<br />memo from Pres. Fox to leave me alone, please be sure that all<br />police officers speak English.<br /><br />11. I plan to fly the U.S. flag from my house top, put flag decals<br />on my car, and have a gigantic celebration on July 4th. I do not<br />want any complaints or negative comments from the locals.<br /><br />12. I would also like to have a nice job without paying any taxes,<br />and don't enforce any labor laws or tax laws.<br /><br />13. Please tell all the people in the country to be extremely nice<br />and never say a critical word about me, or about the strain I might<br />place on the economy.<br /><br />I know this is an easy request because you already do all these<br />things for all the people who come to the U.S. from Mexico. I am<br />sure that Pres. Fox won't mind returning the favor if you ask him<br />nicely.<br /><br />However, if he gives you any trouble, just invite him to go quail<br />hunting with your V.P.<br /><br />Thank you so much for your kind help.<br /><br />Sincerely,<br /><br />David M. Bresnahan<br /><br /><br /> 2006 David M. Bresnahan - All Rights Reserved
