kenmyfam
Supreme Mariner
- Joined
- Aug 10, 2006
- Messages
- 14,392
Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to death in a drive-in
movie?
> >>They went to see 'Closed for the winter.'
> >>***************
> >>
> >>Why did the blonde resolve to have only 3 children?
> >>She heard that one out of every four children born in the world was
> >>Chinese.
> >>***************
> >>
> >>
> >>Did you hear about the near-tragedy at the mall?
> >>There was a power outage, and twelve blondes were stuck on the
escalators
> >>for over four hours.
> >>*****************
> >>
> >>
> >>A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a really
bad
> >>hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took
it to
> >>a
> >>repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided
to
> >>have
> >>some fun.
> >>
> >>He told her just to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard,
and
> >>all
> >>the dents would pop out.
> >>
> >>
> >>+++++++++
> >>
> >>So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and
started
> >>blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened. So she blew a little
harder,
> >>and still nothing happened.
> >>
> >>Her roommate, another blonde, came home and said, 'What are you
doing?'
> >>
> >>The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to
blow
> >>into
> >>the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.
> >>
> >>The roommate rolled her eyes and said, 'Duh, like hello! You need to
roll
> >>up
> >>the windows first.'
> >>+++++++++++++++
> >>
> >>A blonde was shopping at a Target Store and came across a silver
thermos.
> >>She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and brought it
over to
> >>the clerk to ask what it was.
> >>
> >>The clerk said, 'That's a thermos . . . it keeps some things hot and
some
> >>things cold.'
> >>
> >>'Wow, said the blonde, 'that's amazing. I'm going to buy it!' So she
> >>bought
> >>the thermos and took it to work the next day.
> >>
> >>Her boss saw it on her desk. 'What do you have there?' he asked.
> >>
> >>'Why, that's a thermos . it keeps hot things hot and cold things
cold,'
> >>she
> >>replied.
> >>
> >>Her boss inquired, 'What do you have in it?'
> >>
> >>The blond replied, 'Two Popsicles, and some coffee'.
> >>***************
> >>
> >>
> >>A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of golf
balls
> >>and
> >>sat down next to a beautiful (you guessed it) blonde. The puzzled
blonde
> >>kept looking at him and his bulging pockets.
> >>
> >>Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, 'It's golf
balls.'
> >>
> >>Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him thoughtfully and
> >>finally,
> >>not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, asked, 'Does it
hurt
> >>as
> >>much as tennis elbow?'
> >>******************
> >>
> >>
> >>Saved the Best for Last!
> >>
> >>This has to be one of the best blonde jokes around.
> >>This should make all you technologically challenged people feel
GOOD:
> >>
> >>A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife, Susie,
something nice
> >>for their first wedding anniversary. So he decided to buy her a cell
> >>phone.
> >>He showed her the phone and explained to her all of its features.
> >>
> >>SUSIE was excited to receive the gift and simply adored her new
phone.
> >>
> >>The next day Susie went shopping. Her phone rang and, to her
astonishment,
> >>it was her husband on the other end. 'Hi Susie,' he said,! 'how do
you
> >>like
> >>your new phone?'
> >>
> >>Susie replied, 'I just love it! It's so small and your voice is
clear as a
> >>bell, but there's one thing I don't understand though...'
> >>
> >>'What's that, sweetie?' asked her husband.
> >>
> >>'How did you know I was at Wal-Mart?'
movie?
> >>They went to see 'Closed for the winter.'
> >>***************
> >>
> >>Why did the blonde resolve to have only 3 children?
> >>She heard that one out of every four children born in the world was
> >>Chinese.
> >>***************
> >>
> >>
> >>Did you hear about the near-tragedy at the mall?
> >>There was a power outage, and twelve blondes were stuck on the
escalators
> >>for over four hours.
> >>*****************
> >>
> >>
> >>A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a really
bad
> >>hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took
it to
> >>a
> >>repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided
to
> >>have
> >>some fun.
> >>
> >>He told her just to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard,
and
> >>all
> >>the dents would pop out.
> >>
> >>
> >>+++++++++
> >>
> >>So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and
started
> >>blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened. So she blew a little
harder,
> >>and still nothing happened.
> >>
> >>Her roommate, another blonde, came home and said, 'What are you
doing?'
> >>
> >>The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to
blow
> >>into
> >>the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.
> >>
> >>The roommate rolled her eyes and said, 'Duh, like hello! You need to
roll
> >>up
> >>the windows first.'
> >>+++++++++++++++
> >>
> >>A blonde was shopping at a Target Store and came across a silver
thermos.
> >>She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and brought it
over to
> >>the clerk to ask what it was.
> >>
> >>The clerk said, 'That's a thermos . . . it keeps some things hot and
some
> >>things cold.'
> >>
> >>'Wow, said the blonde, 'that's amazing. I'm going to buy it!' So she
> >>bought
> >>the thermos and took it to work the next day.
> >>
> >>Her boss saw it on her desk. 'What do you have there?' he asked.
> >>
> >>'Why, that's a thermos . it keeps hot things hot and cold things
cold,'
> >>she
> >>replied.
> >>
> >>Her boss inquired, 'What do you have in it?'
> >>
> >>The blond replied, 'Two Popsicles, and some coffee'.
> >>***************
> >>
> >>
> >>A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of golf
balls
> >>and
> >>sat down next to a beautiful (you guessed it) blonde. The puzzled
blonde
> >>kept looking at him and his bulging pockets.
> >>
> >>Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, 'It's golf
balls.'
> >>
> >>Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him thoughtfully and
> >>finally,
> >>not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, asked, 'Does it
hurt
> >>as
> >>much as tennis elbow?'
> >>******************
> >>
> >>
> >>Saved the Best for Last!
> >>
> >>This has to be one of the best blonde jokes around.
> >>This should make all you technologically challenged people feel
GOOD:
> >>
> >>A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife, Susie,
something nice
> >>for their first wedding anniversary. So he decided to buy her a cell
> >>phone.
> >>He showed her the phone and explained to her all of its features.
> >>
> >>SUSIE was excited to receive the gift and simply adored her new
phone.
> >>
> >>The next day Susie went shopping. Her phone rang and, to her
astonishment,
> >>it was her husband on the other end. 'Hi Susie,' he said,! 'how do
you
> >>like
> >>your new phone?'
> >>
> >>Susie replied, 'I just love it! It's so small and your voice is
clear as a
> >>bell, but there's one thing I don't understand though...'
> >>
> >>'What's that, sweetie?' asked her husband.
> >>
> >>'How did you know I was at Wal-Mart?'
