Some Funnies

[Reel Poor]

A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office.<br />She asked, "Is it true that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?" <br />"Yes, I'm afraid so," the doctor told her.<br />There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied,<br />"I'm wondering then, just how serious is my condition? Because this prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS'."<br />><br />><br />The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.<br />><br />><br />You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.<br />> <br />> <br />I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.<br />><br />><br />An older couple were lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk.<br />She said: "You used to hold my hand when we were courting." Wearily he reached across, held her<br />hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep. <br />A few moments later she said: "Then you used to kiss me." Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep.<br />Thirty seconds later she said: "Then you used to bite my neck." Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed. "Where are you going?" she asked.<br />"To get my teeth!"

 

[Tyme2fish]

Re: Some Funnies

Where are you going?" she asked.<br />"To get my teeth!"<br /><br />I've got all my teeth,but I can relate.

 

[heycods]

Re: Some Funnies

Im over the hill but I was on top a lot of times, He!! I still get UP there sometimes.

 

[Tyme2fish]

Re: Some Funnies

He!! I still get UP there sometimes. <br /><br />Now THAT I can relate to.

 

[scrapper]

Re: Some Funnies

At heycods ,and tyme2fish Good jokes reel poor , keep em comming

 

[scrapper]

Re: Some Funnies

At heycods ,and tyme2fish Good jokes reel poor , keep em comming <br /><br />oops double post srry

 

[scrapper]

Re: Some Funnies

At heycods ,and tyme2fish Good jokes reel poor , keep em comming <br /><br />What the!!!! things s l o w wwww ing downnnn srry

 

[Tyme2fish]

Re: Some Funnies

Dont sweat the petty things, and dont pet the sweaty things<br /><br />That's one I'll try to remember.

 

[scrapper]

Re: Some Funnies

Works for me

 

[ZooMbr]

Re: Some Funnies

Reel Poor, always good to close the day with a laugh! Thanks!

 

[KaGee]

Re: Some Funnies

So glad that the Hurricanes didn't blow away your sense of humor Reel.

 

[Reel Poor]

Re: Some Funnies

Honestly, thats probably one of the few things that didnt take some sort of hit.

 

[SpinnerBait_Nut]

Re: Some Funnies

"The Book of Why"<br /> <br />Why do we press harder on a remote control<br />when we know the batteries are getting weak?<br /> <br />Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient<br />funds" when they know there is not enough?<br /> <br />Why does someone believe you when you<br />say there are four billion stars, but check<br />when you say the paint is wet?<br /> <br />Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?<br /> <br />Why do they use sterilized needles for death<br />by lethal injection?<br /> <br />Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?<br /> <br />Why does Superman stop bullets with his<br />chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver<br />at him?<br /> <br />If people evolved from apes, why are there<br />still apes?<br /> <br />Why is it that no matter what color bubble<br />bath you use the bubbles are always white?<br /><br />Is there ever a day that mattresses are<br />not on sale?<br /> <br />Why do people constantly return to the<br />refrigerator with hopes that something<br />new to eat will have materialized?<br /> <br />Why do people keep running over a string<br />a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then<br />reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it<br />down to give the vacuum one more chance?<br /> <br />Why is it that no plastic bag will open from<br />the end on your first try?<br /> <br />How do those dead bugs get into those<br />enclosed light fixtures?<br /> <br />When we are in the supermarket and someone<br />rams our ankle with a shopping cart then<br />apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's<br />all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't<br />we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"<br /> <br />Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch<br />something that's falling off the table you<br />always manage to knock something else over?<br /> <br />In winter why do we try to keep the house as<br />warm as it was in summer when we<br />complained about the heat?<br /> <br />How come you never hear father-in-law<br />jokes?<br /> <br />And my FAVORITE......<br /> <br />The statistics on sanity are that one out of<br />every four persons is suffering from some<br />sort of mental illness. Think of your three<br />best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.<br />_______________________________________________<br />"The Other Way"<br /> <br />A college professor in an anatomy class<br />asked his students to sketch a naked man.<br />As the professor walked around the class<br />checking the sketches he noticed that a sexy,<br />young, blonde coed had sketched the man<br />with an erect "thingy".<br /> <br />The professor commented, "Oh, no, I wanted<br />it the other way."<br /> <br />She replied, "What other way?"

 

[harkawy]

Re: Some Funnies