FBPirate95
Master Chief Petty Officer
- Joined
- Apr 15, 2009
- Messages
- 840
TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS and all through the boat,
The bilge pumps were struggling to keep us afloat,
The children were nestled all snug in the berth,
(We sleep here most nights to get our money's worth)
As Ma read Jackie Collins and I guzzled beer,
She said ?You've had enough, now come to bed dear.?
Then out on the dock there arose an uproar
As I reached in the Igloo to get just one more.
So up went my head out of the hatch.
(Though I should have thought first to undo the latch.)
I saw stars for a moment, and as quick as a blink
My wife yelled, "See, you've had too much to drink!"
The moon on the water lit the marina up bright
(Which was good, since the kids had lost my flashlight.)
Then what with my wondering eyes should I see,
But a fat, fuzzy old guy in a Bayliner Capri.
Instead of an outboard hung on the rear,
Tied to the bow were eight tiny reindeer.
More rapid than Johnson 150, these coursers they flew,
And on each of their hoofs was a Smart-Tab or two.
With crashing and bashing and banging and knocking,
I knew in an instant they must be docking,
?No Dasher! Hold it, Dancer! D#@n you Prancer and Vixen.
Stop, Comet! Grab a line, Cupid! Get bumpers, Doneer and Blitzen!
Look out for that boat! Watch that seawall!
Now fend off, fend off, fend off all!?
He was dressed in a iboats cap rigged with fur trim
Along with a Speedo that covered just a small portion of him.
I was shocked and astonished. What could I say?
I also go boating dressed exactly that way.
He then grabbed his bag, a bulging dry sack,
And hoisted it up onto his back,
He also had sponges and a brush in his grip,
As he waddled his way o'er to my slip.
He said ?My name?s Captain Nick, and my friend, I can tell
That your gel coat needs buffing and your teak looks like hell.
Your vinyl needs cleaning, your lockers arranging,
Your holding tank pumping, and your lower unit oil a-changing,
You've put these jobs off for too long and you know it.
So here's all you need. This time..... don't blow it.?
Then as quick as he came, he was back on his boat,
His reindeer revving and eager to tote.
?Merry Christmas!? he called as they cruised through the night,
?and as for the beer Joe, your wife.... she is right.?
THE END
The bilge pumps were struggling to keep us afloat,
The children were nestled all snug in the berth,
(We sleep here most nights to get our money's worth)
As Ma read Jackie Collins and I guzzled beer,
She said ?You've had enough, now come to bed dear.?
Then out on the dock there arose an uproar
As I reached in the Igloo to get just one more.
So up went my head out of the hatch.
(Though I should have thought first to undo the latch.)
I saw stars for a moment, and as quick as a blink
My wife yelled, "See, you've had too much to drink!"
The moon on the water lit the marina up bright
(Which was good, since the kids had lost my flashlight.)
Then what with my wondering eyes should I see,
But a fat, fuzzy old guy in a Bayliner Capri.
Instead of an outboard hung on the rear,
Tied to the bow were eight tiny reindeer.
More rapid than Johnson 150, these coursers they flew,
And on each of their hoofs was a Smart-Tab or two.
With crashing and bashing and banging and knocking,
I knew in an instant they must be docking,
?No Dasher! Hold it, Dancer! D#@n you Prancer and Vixen.
Stop, Comet! Grab a line, Cupid! Get bumpers, Doneer and Blitzen!
Look out for that boat! Watch that seawall!
Now fend off, fend off, fend off all!?
He was dressed in a iboats cap rigged with fur trim
Along with a Speedo that covered just a small portion of him.
I was shocked and astonished. What could I say?
I also go boating dressed exactly that way.
He then grabbed his bag, a bulging dry sack,
And hoisted it up onto his back,
He also had sponges and a brush in his grip,
As he waddled his way o'er to my slip.
He said ?My name?s Captain Nick, and my friend, I can tell
That your gel coat needs buffing and your teak looks like hell.
Your vinyl needs cleaning, your lockers arranging,
Your holding tank pumping, and your lower unit oil a-changing,
You've put these jobs off for too long and you know it.
So here's all you need. This time..... don't blow it.?
Then as quick as he came, he was back on his boat,
His reindeer revving and eager to tote.
?Merry Christmas!? he called as they cruised through the night,
?and as for the beer Joe, your wife.... she is right.?
THE END
nice!
