Tough Sight to Behold

[SuperNova]

Excuse me if I end up rambling. I went down to Delaware Friday night to visit the man who had a lot to do with making me the man I've become. My grandfather is 86, although 3 weeks ago you would've sworn he was only 56, the way he worked and the strength he had. He is about 5'6" and was 174 lbs and even at 86 you wouldn't want to cross him. We'd go diving for his mooring anchor and he could still hold his breath for better than 100 seconds(he was career Navy). Just an amazing individual. So anyway he had a major stroke on May 29th and has since developed pneumonia(sp). He is paralyzed on his left side and also his throat. So they've installed a feeding tube in his stomach and he's on oxygen. He has dropped to 159 lbs and can't communicate, doesn't open his eyes and his breathing--oh, man. I sat with him for 8 hours and just talked to him and joked with him. I just got my summer haircut, so I put his hand on my head and let him feel how short it was. (He hated it when I grew it long in the 80's). When I came out of there my chest hurt and the next day I had the worst headache I've had in years. It was so hard to see this man, who was always a rock, laid up like that. I don't think even prayers can help at this point. The doctors didn't expect him to survive the weekend. I haven't gotten a call yet with bad news so I figure he did survive so far. Anyway, I don't want any sympathy or anything, I just had to unload. But it doesn't feel like it helped.
--
Stan

 

[waterinthefuel]

Re: Tough Sight to Behold

Amen.

 

[treedancer]

Re: Tough Sight to Behold

I feel for ya Stan that is the same kind of stroke my Dad had ,left side.

 

[SuperNova]

Re: Tough Sight to Behold

They tell me the paralysis is due to damage from the brain swelling, the stroke actually ocurred deep down inside the reasoning center. Supposedly he knows he had a stroke, but doesn't understand why he can't get out of bed and go home. He tried to get out of bed while he was at the hospital (he's now in a hospice-type nursing home) and busted up his left side pretty good. Now they have these real thick gymnasium type pads on the floor all around his bed. He's the kind of guy who would try to cop a feel from the nurse if she bends over him the right way. He's what you'd call ornery. Or was.

 

[Bob_VT]

Re: Tough Sight to Behold

I feel and understand your frustration.......

Hang in there......

Bob

 

[Kenneth Brown]

Re: Tough Sight to Behold

Lots of us will still pray for him Stan, it doesn't cost a thing and works great. Not to be on the downside but think of the great life he's had if he doesn't recover. To live 86 years and still do all the stuff I can barely do at 33.

 

[Limited-Time]

Re: Tough Sight to Behold

Sorry to hear about your grandfather. Sometimes life just turns sheety. Still there is solist (sp) in knowing the past will live on forever in your mind and heart. Prayers will be sent.

 

[SuperNova]

Re: Tough Sight to Behold

They're pulling his feeding tube.....It's only a matter of time now.
--
Stan

 

[ehenry]

Re: Tough Sight to Behold

i know what you're going through. I watch a man go from a strapping 200lb man to what looked like a holocaust victim due to bone cancer. He navy pilot, did two tours in Vietnam and also boxed while in the navy. Was fleet champion.

It was a sad sight.

 

[valkyr]

Re: Tough Sight to Behold

My Grandfather was not a huge man. Tall and lean. Many years in the Navy, joined up at 17 when Perl Harbor got hit. He went directly to the recruiters office and signed up. I think at the time they weren't looking too closely at ages. Served during WWII and the Korean war.

Had prostate cancer and did the Chemo thing. 10 years later it came back in his bones as it is apt to do. I was holding his hand in hospice when he took his last breath. It was rough. Brings tears to my eyes just typing this. Thankfully he just quit breathing and eased into death.

My thoughts are with you and your family.

---
Chris

 

[SuperNova]

Re: Tough Sight to Behold

Yeah, I guess at least this is going fairly quickly. My paternal grandfather died at 65 of prostate cancer....took him 3 years to go. He just kind of wasted away. My mom has survived leukemia, a bone marrow transplant and a nasty stroke. She's still going strong, all things considered. This is her father, so this may kill her. And my old Dad is suffering from Parkinson's. He's a Quaker, so I make all kinds of fun of him.
--
Stan

 

[valkyr]

Re: Tough Sight to Behold

And my old Dad is suffering from Parkinson's. He's a Quaker, so I make all kinds of fun of him.

Oh man, that is sooooo not right. Funny, but not right

 

[SuperNova]

Re: Tough Sight to Behold

Oh man, that is sooooo not right. Funny, but not right

Yeah, I know. Everytime I get the chance I hand him a can of spraypaint. And I ask him to crack all the claws when we have crabs. I told him he could make a fortune for the Salvation Army at Christmas time. Or ringing doorbells for the Jehovah's.
--
Stan

 

[TwoBallScrewBall]

Re: Tough Sight to Behold

Sorry about your grandpa, but I'm glad to see you have kept your sense of humor about things. That quaker comment had me laughing here at work. Then the spraypaint, salvation army.....

Here's hoping for a miracle for you.

 

[SuperNova]

Re: Tough Sight to Behold

Many thanks, huminski. Sometimes a little humor goes a long way.
--
Stan

 

[Terry Olson]

Re: Tough Sight to Behold

There's no such thing as a graceful exit from this life. It's especially sad that admirable people like your Grandfather find no more dignity in the end than anyone else - he's earned it. Most of us have been in your place, and those who haven't will be sooner or later. There's little anyone can say or do to ease the loss. It's very important that you not only remember who and what he was to you but also to recognize your capacity to effect others in the same way. The darkness you're experiencing won't last, but I know that's nearly impossible to believe when you're in the thick of it.

 

[OldMercsRule]

Re: Tough Sight to Behold

Sorry to hear Stan, I lost my Dad 3/11 this year, and I took care of him daily since 2001.

He had dimentia real bad, and he lived six months longer then he should have guess I took to good of care of him, (a swallowing disorder was the reason for the end, and eating is what they look forward to at the stage in life). He died in his sleep in the afternoon of 3/11, and I was there when he was still warm.

He was a very tough old bird kinda like yer Grandpa sounded like, (when he was a younger man he was 6' 3" and a fairly hard 250 LBs with arms the size of most mens thighs), unbelievably strong, (physical strenght), old South Dakota Farm boy. I will never forget when he hand cranked all by himself a heavy duty old fashoned worm gear hand winch (three large men were struggling with prior to Dad's arrival) to winch a snag out of the Lake when I was a young kid. It amazed all the folks there as they knew he was strong, but that was flat amazing to see!!

He had more honor then most, was a great Dad, n' also a disabled WW2 vet (where the German 88s took his hearing there in France a few months after d-day). I used to kid with him by snatching his cane and teasing him with it as a little game we played, (which helped him stay sharp longer then he would have otherwise), when he started getting grumpy about that I stopped teasing him at the begening of his last slide toward the trip to his maker. I miss him very much, as you will miss your Grandpa.

That all said: anyone makin' 80 plus years in this Great Country at this time of human history has had a very good run. Prayers commin' your way. JR ps just posting this brings a little tear, but kinda helps things to pass.

 

[SuperNova]

Re: Tough Sight to Behold

Well, He passed away Sunday morning July 1 2007. He went peacefully in his sleep. We got down there Sat. for our vacation and got the call Sunday morning. Fortunately, the services and burial were all down in Md. and Del. Veterans cemetery, so we just stayed at the cottage. He leaves a big hole in the family that won't be soon filled.
--
Stan

 

[bjcsc]

Re: Tough Sight to Behold

My condolences SuperNova...

 

[aspeck]

Re: Tough Sight to Behold

Sorry for your loss