Tail_Gunner
Admiral
- Joined
- Jan 13, 2006
- Messages
- 6,237
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]Sleeping Beauty, Tom Thumb, and Quasimodo were all talking one day.[/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]Sleeping Beauty said, "I believe myself to be the most beautiful girl in the world."[/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]Tom Thumb said, "I must be the smallest person in the world."[/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]Quasimodo said, "I absolutely have to be the most disgusting person in the world."[/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]So they all decided to go to the Guinness Book of World Records to have their claims verified.[/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]Sleeping Beauty went in first and came out looking deliriously happy. "It's official, I AM the most beautiful girl in the world."[/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]Tom Thumb went next and emerged triumphant, "I am[/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]now officially the smallest person in the world."[/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]Sometime later, Quasimodo comes out looking utterly confused and says."Who the hell is Rosie O'Donnell ?[/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the crap table. A very [/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]>attractive blonde woman from Alabama arrived... and bet twenty-thousand [/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]>dollars ($20,000) on a single roll of the dice.[/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]>She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I play [/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]>topless." With that, she stripped to the waist; rolled the dice; and [/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]>yelled, "Come on, baby.... Southern Girl needs new clothes!"[/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]>[/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]>As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up-and-down...and squealed... [/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]>"YES! YES! I WON! I WON!"[/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]>[/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]>She hugged each of the dealers... and then picked up her winnings and[/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]> her clothes, and quickly departed.[/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]>[/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]>The dealers stared at each other dumb founded. Finally, one of them [/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]>asked, "What did she roll?"[/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]>The other answered, "I don't know... I thought you were watching."[/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]>[/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]>[/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]>Moral ---[/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]>[/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]>[/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]>Not all Southerners are stupid.[/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]>Not all blondes are dumb.[/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]>But, all men... are men.[/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]>[/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]We've all heard about people having GUTS or Balls, but do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition for each is listed below... [/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]GUTS - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: "Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?"[/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]BALLS - is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the balls to say: "You're next."[/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions. Medically speaking, there is no difference in the outcome since both ultimately result in his death.[/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]Sleeping Beauty said, "I believe myself to be the most beautiful girl in the world."[/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]Tom Thumb said, "I must be the smallest person in the world."[/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]Quasimodo said, "I absolutely have to be the most disgusting person in the world."[/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]So they all decided to go to the Guinness Book of World Records to have their claims verified.[/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]Sleeping Beauty went in first and came out looking deliriously happy. "It's official, I AM the most beautiful girl in the world."[/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]Tom Thumb went next and emerged triumphant, "I am[/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]now officially the smallest person in the world."[/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]Sometime later, Quasimodo comes out looking utterly confused and says."Who the hell is Rosie O'Donnell ?[/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the crap table. A very [/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]>attractive blonde woman from Alabama arrived... and bet twenty-thousand [/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]>dollars ($20,000) on a single roll of the dice.[/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]>She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I play [/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]>topless." With that, she stripped to the waist; rolled the dice; and [/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]>yelled, "Come on, baby.... Southern Girl needs new clothes!"[/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]>[/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]>As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up-and-down...and squealed... [/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]>"YES! YES! I WON! I WON!"[/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]>[/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]>She hugged each of the dealers... and then picked up her winnings and[/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]> her clothes, and quickly departed.[/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]>[/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]>The dealers stared at each other dumb founded. Finally, one of them [/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]>asked, "What did she roll?"[/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]>The other answered, "I don't know... I thought you were watching."[/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]>[/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]>[/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]>Moral ---[/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]>[/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]>[/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]>Not all Southerners are stupid.[/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]>Not all blondes are dumb.[/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]>But, all men... are men.[/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]>[/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]We've all heard about people having GUTS or Balls, but do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition for each is listed below... [/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]GUTS - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: "Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?"[/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]BALLS - is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the balls to say: "You're next."[/FONT]
[FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica]I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions. Medically speaking, there is no difference in the outcome since both ultimately result in his death.[/FONT]
