What goes around ...

aspeck

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Clutching their Dillard's shopping bags, Ellen and Kay woefully gazed down at a dead cat in the mall parking lot. Obviously a recent hit---no flies, no smell. "What business could that poor kitty have had here?" murmured Ellen.

"Come on, Ellen, let's just go..." But Ellen had already grabbed her shopping bag and was explaining, "I'll just put my things in your bag, and then I'll take the tissue." She dumped her purchases into Kay's bag and then used the tissue paper to cradle and lower the former feline into her own Dillard's bag and cover it.

They continued the short trek to the car in silence, stashing their goods in the trunk. But it occurred to both of them that if they left Ellen's burial bag in the trunk, warmed by the Texas sunshine while they ate, Kay's Lumina would soon lose that new-car smell. They decided to leave the bag on top of the trunk, and they headed over to Luby's Cafeteria.

After they cleared the serving line and sat down at a window table, they had a view of Kay's Chevy with the Dillard's bag still on the trunk. BUT not for long. As they ate, they noticed a black-haired woman in a red gingham shirt stroll by their car, look quickly this way and that, and then take the Dillard's bag without breaking stride. She quickly walked out of their line of vision. Kay and Ellen shot each other a wide-eyed look of amazement. It all happened so fast that neither of them could think how to respond. "Can you imagine?" finally sputtered Ellen. "The nerve of that woman!" Kay sympathized with Ellen, but inwardly a laugh was building as she thought about the grand surprise awaiting the red-gingham thief.

Just when she thought she'd have to giggle into her napkin, she noticed Ellen's eyes freeze in the direction of the serving line. Following her gaze, Kay recognized with a shock the black-haired woman with THE Dillard's bag, hanging from her arm, brazenly pushing her tray toward the cashier. Helplessly they watched the scene unfold:

After clearing the register, the woman settled at a table across from theirs, put the bag on an empty chair and began to eat. After a few bites of baked whitefish and green beans, she casually lifted the bag into her lap to survey her treasure. Looking from side to side, but not far enough to notice her rapt audience three tables over, she pulled out the tissue paper and peered into the bag. Her eyes widened, and she began to make a sort of gasping noise.

The noise grew. The bag slid from her lap as she sank to the floor, wheezing and clutching her upper chest. The beverage cart attendant quickly recognized a customer in trouble and sent the busboy to call 911, while she administered the Heimlich maneuver.

A crowd quickly gathered that did not include Ellen and Kay, who remained riveted to their chairs for seven whole minutes until the ambulance arrived.

In a matter of minutes the curly-haired woman emerged from the crowd, still gasping, strapped securely on a gurney. Two well-trained EMS volunteers steered her to the waiting ambulance, while a third scooped up her belongings.

The last they saw of the distressed cat-burglar, she disappeared behind the ambulance doors,........................the Dillard's bag perched on her stomach.

God does take care of those who do bad things! (AND sometimes he lets us witness it!!!)
 

levittownnick

Senior Chief Petty Officer
Joined
Jul 2, 2003
Messages
789
Re: What goes around ...

There is no way in heaven that I could even think of topping that one. LOL
 

ANIMAL

Petty Officer 1st Class
Joined
Aug 15, 2007
Messages
353
Re: What goes around ...

Makes me want to go park at the mall with a dead cat in a Dillards bag on the trunk just to see who picks it up. Here KiKi, come on pretty kitty.......ANIMAL :D P.S. It would be my luck that a cop would be the first one to find it,,,LOL
 

Haut Medoc

Supreme Mariner
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Jun 29, 2004
Messages
10,645
Re: What goes around ...


How about a bag of doggie doo?.....:)
 

mikeandronda

Lieutenant Commander
Joined
May 13, 2003
Messages
1,888
Re: What goes around ...

This thread could go hand in hand with the cat scratching my car hood thread :D
 

ANIMAL

Petty Officer 1st Class
Joined
Aug 15, 2007
Messages
353
Re: What goes around ...

I like freash road kill my self. When I was driveing semi truck I came in one time and told Grandma I just ran over a possem. She told me to go back and pick it up and she would clean it and cook it {which I don't doubt,,she raised 6 kids during the depression as a widow}. I told her "Grandma, when what you drive weighs over 60,000 pounds and you run over something with 9 tires there's not much to pick up. She forgot about it as soon as we changed the subject, in those years she slowly lost her mind. But I still remember haveing to cut my own switch for her to use on my back side many times. Must have worked,,,I'm not in the pen,,,yet...ANIMAL :D
 
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