LubeDude
Admiral
- Joined
- Oct 8, 2003
- Messages
- 6,945
The Demographics of American Newspapers :
1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.
2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country.
3. The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the
country and who are very good at crossword puzzles.
4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country
but don't really understand. They do, however, like their statistics
shown in pie charts.
5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn't mind running
the country -- if they could find the time -- and if they didn't have
to leave Southern California to do it.
6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the
country.
7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren't too sure who's
running the country and don't really care as long as they can get a
seat on the train.
8. The New York Post is read by people who don't care who's running
the country as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably
while intoxicated.
9. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country
but need the baseball scores.
10. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren't sure
there is a country . . or that anyone is running it; but if so, they
oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the
leaders are handicapped minority feminist atheist dwarfs who also
happen to be illegal aliens from any other country or galaxy, provided
of course, that they are not Republicans.
11. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the
grocery store.
12. The Oregonian is read by people who have recently caught a fish
and need something in which to wrap it.
1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.
2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country.
3. The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the
country and who are very good at crossword puzzles.
4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country
but don't really understand. They do, however, like their statistics
shown in pie charts.
5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn't mind running
the country -- if they could find the time -- and if they didn't have
to leave Southern California to do it.
6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the
country.
7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren't too sure who's
running the country and don't really care as long as they can get a
seat on the train.
8. The New York Post is read by people who don't care who's running
the country as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably
while intoxicated.
9. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country
but need the baseball scores.
10. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren't sure
there is a country . . or that anyone is running it; but if so, they
oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the
leaders are handicapped minority feminist atheist dwarfs who also
happen to be illegal aliens from any other country or galaxy, provided
of course, that they are not Republicans.
11. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the
grocery store.
12. The Oregonian is read by people who have recently caught a fish
and need something in which to wrap it.
