Wife told me she is not into boating as much

[AZBoatDreamer]

So I kind of knew this was coming. This is the 2nd year we have had our boat.

I told my wife last night time to prep the boat to go out. She explained to me she is not into boating like I am.
Also I have 3 boys 9yr 14yr and 17 yr old. The 9yr loves to go boating. The 14yr and 17yr likes sleeping in late on the weekends to much. Sure they will go but I have to drag them out of bed. My wife said we bought the boat for me . I have enough toys and I wanted this to be a family thing.

So I told my wife in a upsetting way "Fine I will take my 9yr out and I will learn once and for all to launch and retrieve my boat Solo" She did say its my Boat.

I have a feeling my 9yr may not want to got out all the time without mommy.

I think I need to look at this another way. Make boating more enjoyable for the family. Myself I like to ski and my 9yr likes to tube. OR go solo Boating and enjoy time alone.

So I need Idea's to make boating fun for the family that is not really into water sports, and fishing.

Sorry for the long post but I'm dissapointed. If I knew all of this before purchasing the I would have bought a 3 Seater Wave runner just to get myself on the water.

I don't need tips on Solo launching and retrieving. There is plenty of post on that.

Maybe I will become the 5am boater by myself.

BTW the family loves to go RV Camping.

 

[floatfan]

Re: Wife told me she is not into boating as much

I'm guessing divorce isn't an option? :facepalm:

I'm lucky. My lady doesn't get gungho about tubing, skiing or swimming, but she loves to sit on the boat and soak up sun all day. Complaining about the boat would be nearly as hurtful as her insulting my manhood. I hurt for you.

Time to get some buddies to go with you some trips I guess, and let the wife & kids decide how often they'd like to go.

 

[ajgraz]

Re: Wife told me she is not into boating as much

I can empathize. Wife and three kids, and the only one who ever got into boating and fishing is my middle (now 14 yo) daughter. Although with sports and late nights with homework we're lucky to see her up before mid-afternoon on non-game weekend days.

The rest of 'em will get out with me maybe 2 or 3 times a year, for events like watching a parade down the harborfront from the water, waterfront concerts, Red Bull Air Races, etc.

Difference is I knew going in that I was likely to be the only one who really loved it, and the wife knew I was buying the boat for me. You can't make them like it, you can only keep providing the opportunity and hope they take you up on it from time to time.

 

[LnCoyote]

Re: Wife told me she is not into boating as much

Maybe it's the 5am thing that's got the fam uninterested??

I too have a family that is less than interested in the water sports and fishing, so I find myself going out a lot by myself.

Hey AZ maybe you could make a bargin with them. You do something they like and in return, they go out on the boat with you. Isn't that what life and family is all about? Give and take.

 

[fishrdan]

Re: Wife told me she is not into boating as much

The best way to solo launch.....

Well, I hate to say it, but I'm in the same boat (pun intended) as you, my wife doesn't like boating too much either. I got our boat for the family too, and thought with a bigger boat she would be more apt to go, but it just hasn't happened. The kids love going out, but she would rather have some peace and quite around the house while I take the kids out, rather than going along. I guess I can understand the peace and quite as shes a stay-at home mom and stuck with them 24x7, but it would be nice if she "wanted" to go along.

I came to the conclusion that if she doesn't want to go, then I'm not pressing the issue. I got back from 3+ days on the lake with the kids a couple weeks ago and we had a blast, bumming around on the beaches, boating, hiking, camping.

I don't really have any advice for you except go out and enjoy the boat, kick the kids out of bed at 0'dark thirty and have fun with them. Maybe if she has some "me" time, she will want to join in later.

 

[truckermatt]

Re: Wife told me she is not into boating as much

sorry to hear that about your situation.

Your post is my recurring nightmare, I dont have kids just yet, soon though, But I will try to instill in the them that water is good. Maybe a waterbed cradle or something like it.

Boating solo is fine, but I'd much rather go tubing/skiing and what not.

Try to find a new group of buddies to go with, and then maybe the wife will get jealous and want to go again,

I thank God everyday that my future wife still enjoys boating after 3 years. She even likes to help setup/take down at the launch.

 

[AZBoatDreamer]

Re: Wife told me she is not into boating as much

LOL been married for 22yrs. Divorce is not even in our vocab.
She loves to take the trailer camping. That is her thing to get up to cooler weather and relax. I love to Rip it going speeding along in our boat and jumping the wake on skis. The problem is she is the only one I trust to pull me behind the boat. So a Compromised is in order as mentioned. We go camping one weekend and the next we spend a couple of hours boating as a family. I don't want to hang out with buddies. I'm a family man!

I hope trying to get them out the door 5am didn't turn them away. I haven't tried that hard to get them out the door that early. Who am I kidding. My 9yr wouldn't have a problem getting up and ready by 5am. He is like me. Early riser, Early bed.

 

[Captain Caveman]

Re: Wife told me she is not into boating as much

You can look at it as a good thing too. Some people buy dogs for the family and then are stuck with them for 15 years. You can at least sell your boat. Yeah, you might lose a few bucks but you could get a smaller boat that is easily manageable for one person and fits your needs most. Then you also won't feel bad about having a big expensive boat that the family doesn't use often.

I'm also in agreement with some of the others. You've obviously got the boating bug so getting up at 5am to be on the water is a small price to pay. For the rest in your family that (or other "small" things like that) might be causing their interests to diminish. This might be a good opportunity for a family meeting or just talking with each family member one-on-one. Ask them if something would make it more enjoyable. The 14 and 17 year olds might just be at the age when doing anything with Mom and Dad sucks. Can't do much about it now. Maybe the Mrs. AZBoatDreamer would like it better if there were wine and cheese on board, a babysitter managing the crew at home, and a beautiful sunset to watch instead of a sunrise.

Main point - there may be some things that you are doing that unintentionally are making it less fun for the others...or just sell the boat and use the money for an awesome vacation (not a cruise!).

 

[AZBoatDreamer]

Re: Wife told me she is not into boating as much

Humm let me think about this.

Maybe I should get a group of Beer Drinking friends and become a Party boater.
Find some beach Bikini clad women and take a bunch of pictures and show her.

Then she would want to go with me and keep me away from that scene.

Really that would be a short trip to divorce court if I did that. LOL

 

[QC]

Re: Wife told me she is not into boating as much

BTW the family loves to go RV Camping.

Then tie the two together . . . Make long weekends and vacations a combo thing. Many lakes have good campsites. The best are those you can beach the boat or throw a hook in front of the RV. I keep telling you . . . Havasu

http://www.crazyhorsecampgrounds.com/

http://cms.sbcounty.gov/parks/Parks/MoabiRegionalPark.aspx

What does your wife like to do on weekends when you are home?

Edit: You need another family to be into the same thing . . .

 

[Philster]

Re: Wife told me she is not into boating as much

Holy carp. Good luck.

Just one thought: At 14 and 17, if they don't want to go boating, leave them home. Maybe your wife will enjoy boating knowing you don't have to rustle the feathers of the teenagers. Maybe that's part of it?

We left our 14-year old son home a few times. He never skipped out again after the other kids had all these great stories while he was locked in boring A/C. Now we take his girlfriend, too. We dump the boys (14 and 12) off to fish somewhere, too, from time to time and the rest of us (two other little girls) go tubing, etc.

EDIT: was posting as Bubba was. Sort of on the same page.

 

[riptorn]

Re: Wife told me she is not into boating as much

Let her sit on the dock and relax and watch every one else have fun in their boats or just leave the boat on the trailer for a week. She'll finally come around. I did the same to my wife for the whole summer. They don't realize what they have until it's gone.

 

[LippCJ7]

Re: Wife told me she is not into boating as much

Humm let me think about this.

Maybe I should get a group of Beer Drinking friends and become a Party boater.
Find some beach Bikini clad women and take a bunch of pictures and show her.

Then she would want to go with me and keep me away from that scene.

Really that would be a short trip to divorce court if I did that. LOL

I thought YOU Said Divorce isn't in the Vocab!!!

That idea is likely an express ticket to a beating and a divorce!! I Don't have the same situation you do bud not even close, my children are older and have found other things that are important to them but my wife and I have discovered how much we enjoy our time without the kids on the water just us a bottle of wine for her and a couple beers for me and some personal time for us, but I think your situation may be the problem with family life itself, my family life evolved but came around full circle, maybe mom is all caught up in family things and you just need to evolve a little bit but its possible that yours will come back to boating in time so I wouldn't sell anything just yet. I understand how family changes happen, my family is very active we like to go camping and ATVing and Harley Riding and sometimes I don't know how we do it but thats family life.

 

[AZBoatDreamer]

Re: Wife told me she is not into boating as much

My wife likes to relax during the weekends and not be in a rush. Hench go camping and relax or spend the weekend doing much of nothing. I'm on the go person and have to be doing something.

There isn't many places to take the Travel Trailer and Boat at the same place in AZ.

No way would I let my 17yr take boat and truck to the lake alone with friends. I have no problem leaving the two older boys at home alone. We do that often anyway and they even baby sit the youngest

 

[ezmobee]

Re: Wife told me she is not into boating as much

I forget your exact boating situation but I'm thinking with having to get up at 5AM you may be far from the lake or something like that. It's probably just too involved for them. They may very well like it as a casual thing to do in the evenings or for a couple hours but they may not like it enough to have to devote a whole day. I think you need a seasonal campsite somewhere near a place to use your boat.

 

[floatfan]

Re: Wife told me she is not into boating as much

I agree with Bubba or whoever said to try to integrate some of the kids friends in. If your older kids were able to bring along a friend of their own, it would make a trip with mom & dad and the family a lot more tolerable. I know as a 14 - 17 year old, I wouldn't have wanted to spend my whole Saturday or Sunday with just my family. I cherish those days that I get to go fishing with my dad, or just hang out with my mom now, but that wasn't the case when I was a teenager.

My 4 year old goes and does what his mom & I tell him to do at right now...but I'm sure as he gets older, he'll want to have a buddy along to share in the fun rather than just hangin with his parents. I'll deal with that when the day comes.

 

[BonairII]

Re: Wife told me she is not into boating as much

Out of curiosity, why do you need to leave the house at 5am? I can see wanting to fish that early, but if the family doesn't fish....I can see why they aren't excited to go boating that early.

Teenagers do need more sleep than adults(it's a fact), if you're leaving at 5am...they would need to be in bed by 6pm the night before. I don't know of ANY teenager that wants to go bed that early.

As it stands now,You're going to need to compromise, if you want any chance of making the whole family boating thing work out.

 

[81 Checkmate]

Re: Wife told me she is not into boating as much

Sorry to here your dilemma, But I think Bubba has it right. Our first couple years it was new and exciting but after awhile it?s the same old same old.
My kids have a much better time when they bring friends along, someone to chat with and to tube with and someone they can make fun of when they fall off the tube!

The wife likes to go too, not all the time but when we bring another couple with us it is a lot more enjoyable for her. We and another couple split/ bought a little place down the road from the lake and we can camp out and spend long weekends, we rent a dock space for the weekend and it's not like you have to be on the water the whole day. I can take the kids out and moma can sit back at the cabin and chill or i can just go out by myself if i want.

This year I broke down for Christmas and bought a jet ski for the kids?? well me tooo?. I think this will spruce things up this summer !!!!!!! And yes they all have (Including friends) taken the boating course. I won?t let them on it until I see the proof.

Hope you can make the best of it and don?t have to sell the boat.

P.S. You could always sell the boat and buy a Go ? Fast boat for yourself !!!!!

 

[floatfan]

Re: Wife told me she is not into boating as much

Hate to say it but your wife is right, it's "your" boat. (Is he allowed to drive a car at this point?) I am just saying stop and think about the message you are giving him. "I don't have enough faith in you to let you use the "family" boat. I don't know that I'd be crazy about boating at age 17 in that situation either. If you don't think he is capable then that sort of falls back on you too for not getting him in a boating class and showing him how to handle the boat to a point you are comfortable with it.

Yeah, but a lot of 17 year olds have a tendancy of being able to "tear up a sherman tank with a rubber mallet", as my father used to say. 17 year olds aren't done cooking yet. I'd be hard pressed to turn over the keys too.

 

[possum2082]

Re: Wife told me she is not into boating as much

hey azboatdreamer,

start solo launching anyway. launching is the part of boating my wife hates! it stresses her out and i b/c truth be told i can get cranky. anyway, short trips, minimize what she has to do. you sound like a full energy kind of guy and hell, you're the skipper anyway.

i'm in the oppositve situation: 2 week old and a 2 year old who loves being on the boat even in the driveway. my wife enjoys a glass of wine and just anchoring in some cove.

this may be a whole new can of worms...have you guys thought about getting a small cabin cruiser. we have a 2150 sunbridge which sleeps 4. we love it and camp half a dozen times throughout the summer. also, you can beach it and sleep on the shore if your fam would like that better.

just a thought.