Got a Visit yesterday

[SS MAYFLOAT]

It has been about two years since my daughter Amber came to visit with the grand babies. She lost custody of them to her mother. I had figured that since this has happened, I wouldn't ever get to see them again due to my ex-wifes hatred towards me.

Low and behold she (my ex) pulls into the driveway with my 3 grand kids. The oldest (now 7) remembered me from a visit on my boat. That surprised me a bunch. I got to play with them for awhile and then my ex whispers into my ear "I'm getting a diviorce". I played it off like I didn't hear her. This is easy for me to do cause many knows that my hearing is real bad. Just before she left she said she wanted my cell phone number. I told her NO and that if it is an emergency that she can in touch thru our son Carl.

This really bothers me. I'm very very very happy with the woman I married 10 years ago. My ex had that look in her eye as to wanting to get serious again. NO NO NO! I will not allow myself to go that way. So for the time being, I'm being or playing dumb and ignoring her.

I don't want to blow a relationship with the grand kids because of her flirtatious behavior. She is a blonde and plays the part very well without any considration for anyone but herself.

Hopefully I'm handling this problem the right way. I do not want to get my present marriage put into jeopardy due to her ways of seek and destroy.

Any ideas?,,,,,,,,,,Thanks.........SS

 

[Drowned Rat]

Re: Got a Visit yesterday

Sounds like you handled it perfectly. Hopefully she'll get the hint without getting offended. Perhaps she wanted your cell number so she can let the kids keep in touch??

 

[Haut Medoc]

Re: Got a Visit yesterday

It has been about two years since my daughter Amber came to visit with the grand babies. She lost custody of them to her mother. I had figured that since this has happened, I wouldn't ever get to see them again due to my ex-wifes hatred towards me.

Low and behold she (my ex) pulls into the driveway with my 3 grand kids. The oldest (now 7) remembered me from a visit on my boat. That surprised me a bunch. I got to play with them for awhile and then my ex whispers into my ear "I'm getting a diviorce". I played it off like I didn't hear her. This is easy for me to do cause many knows that my hearing is real bad. Just before she left she said she wanted my cell phone number. I told her NO and that if it is an emergency that she can in touch thru our son Carl.

This really bothers me. I'm very very very happy with the woman I married 10 years ago. My ex had that look in her eye as to wanting to get serious again. NO NO NO! I will not allow myself to go that way. So for the time being, I'm being or playing dumb and ignoring her.

I don't want to blow a relationship with the grand kids because of her flirtatious behavior. She is a blonde and plays the part very well without any considration for anyone but herself.

Hopefully I'm handling this problem the right way. I do not want to get my present marriage put into jeopardy due to her ways of seek and destroy.

Any ideas?,,,,,,,,,,Thanks.........SS

Wimmin'.......
Your gut feeling is most likely right......
Some wimmin' just can't be alone, & she is lining up the next victim(you) & will use everything at her disposal to manipulate ya(grandkids)....
Good Luck with this.....

 

[SS MAYFLOAT]

Re: Got a Visit yesterday

She always accused me of cheating on her when we was married. I never did, just one of those old boys that respect the union of a marriage.

I made a vow to myself after this 4th and present marriage,,,,,,,,,,,,,," I promise not to feed and support another attorney"

 

[kenmyfam]

Re: Got a Visit yesterday

Beware the ex that shows up with a carrot to dangle.
She wants something and it is quite possibly financial !!!
Follow your heart for what is best and remember why you were divorced in the first place. Leopards do not generally change their spots !!!!
I wish you all the best with your scenario and keep us posted.

 

[Bob_VT]

Re: Got a Visit yesterday

Just be happy that you were able to see that trap....... many do not!

 

[tashasdaddy]

Re: Got a Visit yesterday

who wants to marry a women, who is raising her grandchildren. if the situation was bad, that she had to take custody, i applaude her, but not, the tactics. the kids come first.

when i was dating, and until this day, i always said, I'm first on my list, the kids second, and if you want a relationship , you have to take 3rd place.

why, if i'm not first, and care about myself, and my business, how do i take care of the others.

 

[PW2]

Re: Got a Visit yesterday

Stupid and cheerful is often the best way to deal with a situation like that. Not having a clue about her intentions, remaining dense about it, and being very happy to see the kids is the way to play it...IMO

 

[SandMan*]

Re: Got a Visit yesterday

It depends on the woman you're with now if my advice would be safe, but I would sit your current woman down and explain to her what your ex is trying to do - she will see it as you being honest and devoted, and she will appreciate you talking to her about it.

As far as the ex goes, keep your distance and let it be clear that you have no intention of being involved with her.

Grandchildren, explain to them who you are and tell them they are welcome to see you whenever they want, give them your ph # and develop a nickname for them to call you "Grandpa _____"

everything else you have to play it by ear!

 

[rogerwa]

Re: Got a Visit yesterday

I would discuss this fully with your current wife and tell her of your concerns about being alienated from your grandkids. If she is OK it may be OK to play the game to the extent of seeing your GKids without explicitly leading her on or deceiving. you just don't want to be in a position of her being able to make claims that would put a wedge in your marriage.

 

[SS MAYFLOAT]

Re: Got a Visit yesterday

I've been diviorced from my ex for 14 years and married to my present wife for 10. I am really happy with who I'm married to. I did discuss with my wife what went on. She smiled and said she knows how I dispise my ex and that she trusts me. So that is good to know.

Looks as if 3 more is on the get list for Santa this year since I've actually been acknowledged as their grandpa. . Still many others to spread the love around. There is always plenty of that. Thanks guys!

 

[Limited-Time]

Re: Got a Visit yesterday

She always accused me of cheating on her when we was married. I never did, just one of those old boys that respect the union of a marriage.

I made a vow to myself after this 4th and present marriage,,,,,,,,,,,,,," I promise not to feed and support another attorney"

Shows real character there SS a rare trait in todays generation. As for the second part of your post, its never good to feed the animals.

Bringing the wife up to speed is the only way to go. Great move.

 

[thefairlaneman]

Re: Got a Visit yesterday

I would be 100% honest and just thank her for letting the kids get to know you. Its a decent thing to do. Dont alow yourself to have any one on one conversations with her.

 

[sun_runner235]

Re: Got a Visit yesterday

Remember....divorce is expensive....because its worth it! STAY AWAY FROM HER!!!!!!

 

[kenmyfam]

Re: Got a Visit yesterday

Do not lose touch with the Grandkids !!!!
But do not let the "ex" too far back into your life. Just enough to keep the Grandkids in your life. Go ahead and spoil them. You will all be better for it.