Please continue my lie,er I mean fishing story

[wildmaninal]

Re: Please continue my lie,er I mean fishing story

gather anything that can be used as a weapon so we could beat the stew out of the now curious shark, sense there was no way we were going to make any progress paddling with a shark around....

 

[projecthog]

Re: Please continue my lie,er I mean fishing story

when Little John said, let's get the heck out of Dodge and go back to the pickup for a beer, then we'll harvest the lupine worms while we whittle a new plug for the 12 foot Big Jon boat and take a leak.

 

[aspeck]

Re: Please continue my lie,er I mean fishing story

I was launching my 12 ft. aluminum boat with the 300HP Optimax engine on it when I realized I forgot to insert the plug and that my four friends and I forgot the worms.
Luckily I had a plug of chewing tobacco and my dog had worms.So we loaded in the boat and headed across the lake, me, my 4 friends, and the dog with worms, all in the 12 foot aluminum jon boat with the 300HP Optimax (dang black boat anchors).

When my dog with worms pulled the plug of chewing tobacco out.That's when I saw the blue flashing lights and was promptly boarded by the PETA patrol vessel. And than PETA gave me a ticket for letting my underaged dog have tobacco products. All the while think PETA stood for People Eating Tasty Animals...Trying to explain to the PETA occifers that the chewing tobacco was an ancient form of tick and flea repellent / dewormer.

And then we discovered a real problem....we left the coolers of iced down beer in the back of the pickup.
Once the boat slipped off the trailer the bow stood straight up and the boat did a titanic reenactment. Once we retrieved the sunken boat and now water logged motor we yanked off the motor and continued on our way to the fishing hole by paddle where we caught a 50lb cat which we promptly threw back because we don't eat no stinking bottom fish! But Tom had not de-hooked the catfish and the fight was on once again.
That was when Bubba yelled...SHARK.Since we were in a fresh water lake we paid no attention to Bubba. That's when I saw the startled look in Tom's eyes. It turned out that Bubba,even though drunk, he wasn't just seeing things it was really a shark, which made its way up the river.

Tyrone then suggested that we gather anything that can be used as a weapon so we could beat the stew out of the now curious shark, sense there was no way we were going to make any progress paddling with a shark around.

Little John said, let's get the heck out of Dodge and go back to the pickup for a beer, then we'll harvest the lupine worms while we whittle a new plug for the 12 foot Big Jon boat and take a leak. But before we could start rowing the shark ate not one, but BOTH of the oars!

 

[Limited-Time]

Re: Please continue my lie,er I mean fishing story

So we hit the key to fire up the black boat anchor and..................................................nothing, nada, zip, zilch, zero. So Bubba whips out his lap top complete with wireless card and pulls up iboats. He accesses the forums and pulls up Mercury & Mariner Outboards in the tech section. He furiously types out a post outlining our situtation and hits send. Almost imeadently a reply is posted .......................... How do you exspect us to trouble shoot you problem with out an engine serial number?? That and and you'll need to get a FACTORY Service manual befor we can help. With that bubba begins to type a reply.......................

 

[patrickray]

Re: Please continue my lie,er I mean fishing story

Where do I find the serial number? How can I tell what year it is so I can get a service manual. Anyone know a good place online to get a good service manual?
And what is the fuel/oil mix for this motor?

 

[projecthog]

Re: Please continue my lie,er I mean fishing story

The answer he got right away, was.....search the forums, you'll find it!
Bubba was sweating on the computer and frantically searched and searched, and there he found a........

 

[Limited-Time]

Re: Please continue my lie,er I mean fishing story

A post by Trog outlining the exact problem............trouble was it was in the Queens English, not The Kings (that would be Elvis). So Bubba was stumped He quickly called for a translator, and who responded but.........................

 

[slasmith1]

Re: Please continue my lie,er I mean fishing story

he didn't have a passport so he couldn't get any farther north than Alabama.

 

[patrickray]

Re: Please continue my lie,er I mean fishing story

Bubba realized that the queens English was hard to under stand. He quickly remembered watching Monty's Pythons flying circus. Then suddenly he put the lap top aside and slammed 7 beers. After talking to the translator for 5 minutes, Bubba knew exactly what he had to do....

 

[fishrdan]

Re: Please continue my lie,er I mean fishing story

It just so happened in an odd quirk of faint that their faithful dog was quite fluent in the queens english. Sitting at the keyboard and pawing the mouse Cujo was able to decipher their problem. After clawing at the motor for a bit he seized the rope start in his jaws (yeah I know 300HP rope start, custom) and yanked with all his might, throwing everyone to the bow as the motor...

 

[Limited-Time]

Re: Please continue my lie,er I mean fishing story

Roared to life in reverse. Luckily............

 

[Tyme2fish]

Re: Please continue my lie,er I mean fishing story

..chopping up the hapless shark into sushi bits with the churning 12 blade stainless steel prop.

 

[fishrdan]

Re: Please continue my lie,er I mean fishing story

and filled the PETA patrol boat up to the gunnels with ground shark. Cries could be heard for miles as the PETA folks screamed...

 

[Tyme2fish]

Re: Please continue my lie,er I mean fishing story

It's burst into flames! It burst into flames, and it's falling, it's crashing! Watch it! Watch it! Get out of the way! Get out of the way! Get this, Charlie; get this, Charlie! It's fire?and it's crashing! It's crashing terrible!...And all the folks agree that this is terrible; this is the worst of the worst catastrophes in the world!...Crashing, oh! Four- or five-hundred feet into the sky and it?it's a terrific crash, ladies and gentlemen! It's smoke, and it's flames now; and the frame is crashing to the ground, not quite to the mooring-mast...Oh, the humanity!...it's just laying there, mass of smoking wreckage...and everybody can hardly breathe and talk and...Lady, I?I?I'm sorry. Honest: I?I can hardly breathe...Listen, folks; I?I'm gonna have to stop for a minute because...I've lost my voice. This is the worst thing I've ever witnessed.

 

[mthieme]

Re: Please continue my lie,er I mean fishing story

...so Bubba had to smack Tom silly to get him to stop ranting...

 

[Tyme2fish]

Re: Please continue my lie,er I mean fishing story

Now even though Bubba was 350 pounds plus and Tom only 98 pounds after an all you can eat fish dinner, Tom was an agile and spry fellow and he snapped around and told Bubba...

 

[mthieme]

Re: Please continue my lie,er I mean fishing story

...thanks, I needed that....
Finally after all the commotion, problems and setbacks, they all finally manage to get to the fishing spot. The fish finder is going off like the old tune "Wipeout"...

 

[fishrdan]

Re: Please continue my lie,er I mean fishing story

when Bubba starts brailing out scoops of ground shark. Bluegills, perch, bass, northerns, walleye, muskies, cats, tilapia, shad, striper (heck anything that swims) are boiling just inches from the boat. Tom gets an idea... push Bubba real hard so he almost falls out of the boat,,, when the gunnel of the boat dips below the water line...

 

[UnregisteredUser]

Re: Please continue my lie,er I mean fishing story

simply reach as far as he could and drag in as many fish possible. If it had not been for...

 

[tallcanadian]

Re: Please continue my lie,er I mean fishing story

but then bubba falls and the boat jumped out of the water a few inches. so then we all decided to have shore lunch. so we...........