16 Year old not interested in driving

[xtraham]

I have 2 16 year old boys (twins) I took them to get their permits when they became eligible. They had to take and complete a drivers education course and both passed with flying colors and both were excited about driving.

When their probationary period on their permit was over and training complete, I made an appointment for their drivers road test. The day of the road test one of the boys were sick, while taking the test he hit a cone and that's an automatic fail, the other boy passed and got his license, needless to say the one that failed was very disappointed.

We made a second appointment for the boy that failed and we worked with him until he could maneuver the course flawlessly. I was confident he would pass this second time, he didn't, he hit the same cone.

Now he is discouraged and he asked us to cancel his 3rd appointment, this is the part I don't understand. I was driving when I was 9 and by-myself when I was 13, I couldn't wait to get my license.

My thoughts are that he is embarrassed about failing the road course, and the wife and I have tried to get it out of him, but he wont come out with it. We have tried several times since he failed to get him out to practice more but he's just not interested.

Has anyone had a 16 year old that was not interested in driving? If so do you know the reason?

What can I do to encourage him? Or do I need to back off and let him determine when he's ready?

 

[ziggy]

Re: 16 Year old not interesting in driving

Re: 16 Year old not interesting in driving

Has anyone had a 16 year old that was not interested in driving?

not my kid. but my girlfriends are that way. 3 of them even. one's 24, she's got here lic. and lost it and tring to get it back. she's a terrible driver. the other girl is 23, never had a lic. and neither me or my gf know why. her son is now 18, he's never had one either. with him, i suspect it's because he has to read something and learn it prior to the privilege..... which would be agaisnt his ways in general i think.

What can I do to encourage him?

my kid if i remeber kinda bulked at going after his. i just told him, it is part of being an adult. ya just can't harldy live w/o the capabilities of driving. i tell the gf's kids that too. to no avail though... good luck... i was like you kinda. couldn't wait to drive. getting to drive dads boats since i'd been knee high to a grasshopper wasn't enough for me at that age...

 

[JB]

Re: 16 Year old not interesting in driving

Re: 16 Year old not interesting in driving

One of my grandsons, Christopher, is not interested in cars or driving. He drives himself to college, but that is only because his parents won't. He did well on both the written and performance testing but considered it a chore.

He is 20 now. Chris is a borderline autistic and a savant. He is only interested in things that are absolutely predictable. That does not include people, cars or driving. Math and computers are his world.

 

[Bass Man Bruce]

Re: 16 Year old not interested in driving

Our son didn't give a rip about driving and we had to push him to get his but I think it was different than your situation.
It sounds like your son has a bit of a confidence thing going on and when he prevails it will boost his self esteem in the long run.
You gotta remember that in the teen years it's easy to make a mountain out of a mole hill.
Good luck, I am sure this is just a bump in the road.

 

[Bob_VT]

Re: 16 Year old not interested in driving

I guess the true question is....... since he is a twin (and twins have a special bond) possibly he feels it is a way to maintain the bond. When one drives the other will always tag along.

My sister went through a similar situation with my twin nieces. They really did not go seperate ways until the both gradutaed from USMMA. One went Navy and one went Marines. Only one had a license and the cops could not tell them apart so in essence they only needed one license.

Give him time or present him with a goal to accomplish. Explain that you would like to see him licensed before this Summer or before the 4th of July. That will relieve one aspect of his pressure and maybe he will have a change of heart from now till the deadline.

You could not pay me enough to live through the teen years today.

 

[triumphrick]

Re: 16 Year old not interested in driving

We're all wired a little different, and it bugs us to think we or other family members may not be the same as other folks.
At the age of 13 I was terrorizing the streets of Savannah in the wee hours of the morning after sneaking the key and driving my brothers 'ol 53 Chevy. He never did understand how all the gas got used up! At best, I would slip in a quarter now and then for a gallon.
My son was the same way. Couldn't wait to get his license and always wanted to drive.
Right now your son may or may not have a desire to get back out and take that test. As others have mentioned, not all of us crave the early driving experience. Maybe he was aiming for that cone..

 

[xtraham]

Re: 16 Year old not interested in driving

I don't think it's because they don't want to be separated Bob, all they do is fight, all the time... tonight when they came home after school they were fighting because the one that has not gotten his license yet farted in the others ones truck

They are both smart kids that stay on the honor roll or the principals list (not the same principals list I stayed on) but the one that is reluctant to get his license is less independent. He's a gamer and Christmas time he wanted games, the wife and I gave him a choice, games or a car? he picked the games over the car. I was amazed. They are both great kids and Daddy is a gear head so I guess that's why I don't understand. The wife and I have decided that we wont push him I'm just trying to understand for my own curiosity.

 

[eaglejim]

Re: 16 Year old not interested in driving

Tell your son don't worry because you know someone that failed it 3 times we didn't have cones to hit back then just drive around 5 miles my problem was could not keep the "68" VW below the speed limit,boy was Dad upset he took me on a test drive to show me it could go below 35mph,My girls did not get theirs until they were 20 but I never put on any pressure.

 

[mscher]

Re: 16 Year old not interested in driving

My boy just turned 16 and could care less about driving. I had to play the "we aren't going to drive you around anymore" card already.

It's a different world now. A car is just an another appliance. Many boys my sons age do not even know how to ride a bike.

I could not get either of my boys interested in auto mechanics, carpentry or any farming.

Come to think of it, I did not like those things either, when I was that age.

I did learn to work on cars (and still do), but mostly out of necessity.

I think when my boy discovers the freedom of driving ( and fixing) he will come around too.

 

[LandingLights]

Re: 16 Year old not interested in driving

It could be worse!

Woman Fails Driver's Test 775 Times:
http://www.stuff.co.nz/4856999a4560.html

 

[mthieme]

Re: 16 Year old not interesting in driving

Re: 16 Year old not interesting in driving

He is only interested in things that are absolutely predictable....math and computers are his world.

Boy is he going to in for a surprise!!!

 

[tx1961whaler]

Re: 16 Year old not interested in driving

He is not interested in driving because he has no reason to drive himself anywhere. If he wants to go someplace, somebody else drives him there. Pretty smart of him.....

 

[zach103]

Re: 16 Year old not interested in driving

wait till he gets a girlfriend.. tell him its ok i failed too

 

[ezbtr]

Re: 16 Year old not interested in driving

maybe his brother can talk to him and boost his confidence? My oldest 22 girl, has hers finally at 20???? wrecked her moms car, didnt practice much and Id never still let her drive my vehicles - she doesnt see it as "important", now my 19 yr old girl has driven all mine, no problem......

 

[jinx]

Re: 16 Year old not interested in driving

Not wanting to drive might be his way of telling you that he doesn't believe he is ready. My eldest son did not drive until he was nearly 19. He had his learners from 16 and his motor skills just weren't there yet. He knew it in his heart.

My advice: Don't push it.

Jinx

 

[jbjennings]

Re: 16 Year old not interested in driving

Be careful what you wish for xtraham! I hope my three younguns never get their license. I'm nervous when my wife drives!

Seriously-- insurance, car notes, speeding tickets, worrying about drinking and driving, gas money-----I don't know what I'm going to to when my kids get driving age..... but I'll bet I know what they're going to do--get a JOB!

I'll bet he'll make up his mind soon enough. As was said, some pretty young thing will motivate him to get his license.
Patience, patience
JBJ

 

[jay_merrill]

Re: 16 Year old not interested in driving

He's afraid of failing again. Teens are very sensitive to embarrassment and he doesn't want to suffer from that. Leave him alone - he'll give it a go again when he's ready.

Look at it this way, you'll save a few bucks on insurance!

 

[tashasdaddy]

Re: 16 Year old not interested in driving

by what i hear they have very different personalities, driver is more open, socializes more, gets out more. the gamer is more reserved, more of a loner, other than with other gamers.
one is very assured, one more introverted.

this is just swag observation. brothers do that to each other.

 

[chiefalen]

Re: 16 Year old not interested in driving

People in big city's don't need to drive. There are kids third generations, that never learned to drive. Don't need to mass transit.

Myself i learned to drive at 9 and was driving a old clunker around my family's property and learned how to back up around a oval i created on my family's property.

At 12 i got a farmers license upstate NY. At that time you could get one, drive only during the day. And i needed it to go to and from work. At a chicken farm.

Yep i worked sense i was ten, and my mom or dad drove me till i received the license, at 16 i got my regular license, and drove my own car that i bought with my own money.

I was parking car, hauling golf bags, busing tables, pumping gas, doing oil changes, anything to make a quarter.

Everyone is different, and as much as you would like your son to be like you, he isn't YOU.

He will in time ether get it or not won't make him any different, so it's our job as i see it to encourage his interests.

Don't worry things seem to work out in the end.

 

[xtraham]

Re: 16 Year old not interested in driving

I'm amazed that this is so common among youngsters today, I had no idea..

I guess in the back of our minds we think everyone thinks like we do. I think also that he believes he let His Mom and Myself down and that's the reason for his reserve.

And then someone ^^^ said he may know he's not ready, that could be true also. As my wife or I worked with him almost every day up until the first road test, I told my wife that if he passed we needed to ride with him for a while because he was not ready.

TD, your close on what you said also, except they are they opposite, the one that did get his license is more of the loner and he is and has always wanted to be around older people. I was like that too, still am. The other has a house full of buddies all the time.

Again, we are not going to push him I'm sure he will let us know when he's ready but he is still refusing to practice, He is extremely confident in everything he does and a little over confident with the driving thing so I know right now it's best he wait. I was just wondering how many kids didn't seam interested in driving.

So far it sounds fairly normal, in fact he has several friends that do not drive, and a couple that even let their permits expire.

It's funny how they change, when they were growing up I would have bet the outcome would have been totally opposite because the one that has his license was not interested cars trucks etc. he liked anything electronic, the other was a hellion on his big wheel, battery powered cars etc.