imported_Boatbuoy
Cadet
- Joined
- Jun 23, 2006
- Messages
- 17
A Taste Of "Southern-ness"
C&P
SOUTHERN WOMEN
Southern women appreciate their natural assets:
Clean skin.
A winning smile.
That unforgettable Southern drawl.
Southern women know their manners:
"Yes, ma'am."
"Yes, sir."
"Why, no, Billy!"
Southern women have a distinct way with fond expressions:
"Y'all come back!"
"Well, bless your heart."
"Drop by when you can."
"How's your Momma?"
Southern women know their summer weather report:
Humidity
Humidity
Humidity
Southern women know their vacation spots:
The beach
The rivuh
The crick
Southern women know the joys of June, July, and August:
Colorful hi-heel sandals
Strapless sun dresses
Iced sweet tea with mint
Southern women know everybody's first name:
Honey
Darlin'
Shugah
Southern women know the movies that speak to their hearts:
Fried Green Tomatoes
Driving Miss Daisy
Steel Magnolias
Gone With The Wind
Southern women know their religions:
Baptist
Methodist
Football
Southern women know their country breakfasts:
Red-eye gravy
Grits
Eggs
Country ham
Mouth-watering homemade biscuits with momma's homemade jelly
Southern women know their cities dripping with Southern charm:
Chawl'stn
S'vanah
Foat Wuth
N'awlins
Addlanna
Southern women know their elegant gentlemen:
Men in uniform
Men in tuxedos
Rhett Butler
Southern girls know their prime real estate:
The Mall
The Country Club
The Beauty Salon
Southern girls know the 3 deadly sins:
Having bad hair and nails
Having bad manners
Cooking bad food
More Suthen-ism's:
Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a
conniption
fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.
_____
Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas,
beans, etc., make up "a mess."
_____
Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of
"yonder."
_____
Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, . as in: "Going to
town, be back directly."
_____
Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the
white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the
middle of the table.
_____
All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the
term, but they know the concept well.
_____
Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a
neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl
of
cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also
know to add a large banana puddin'!
_____
Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and
"a
right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile
or
20.
_____
Only a Southerner both knows and understands the difference between a
redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
_____
No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn
signal is actually going to make a turn.
_____
A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an
adverb.
_____
Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines,... and when we're
"in
line," we talk to everybody!
_____
Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're
related, even if only by marriage.
_____
In the South, y'all is singular, all y'all is plural.
_____
Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
_____
Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are
perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that
fried
green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
_____
When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you
are
in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
_____
Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and"sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates
the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened.
"Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
_____
And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old
ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say, "Bless her heart" ...
and go
your own way.
_____
To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness:
Take
two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning.
Bless your heart!
_____
And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this
Southern stuff, ... bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have
classes
on Southernness as a second language!
_____
And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long
time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'all's front porch that reads, "I
ain't
from the South, but I got here as fast as I could."
Southern girls know men may come and go, but friends are fahevah!
If you're a Northern transplant, Bless your little heart, fake it.
We know you got here as fast as you could.
C&P
SOUTHERN WOMEN
Southern women appreciate their natural assets:
Clean skin.
A winning smile.
That unforgettable Southern drawl.
Southern women know their manners:
"Yes, ma'am."
"Yes, sir."
"Why, no, Billy!"
Southern women have a distinct way with fond expressions:
"Y'all come back!"
"Well, bless your heart."
"Drop by when you can."
"How's your Momma?"
Southern women know their summer weather report:
Humidity
Humidity
Humidity
Southern women know their vacation spots:
The beach
The rivuh
The crick
Southern women know the joys of June, July, and August:
Colorful hi-heel sandals
Strapless sun dresses
Iced sweet tea with mint
Southern women know everybody's first name:
Honey
Darlin'
Shugah
Southern women know the movies that speak to their hearts:
Fried Green Tomatoes
Driving Miss Daisy
Steel Magnolias
Gone With The Wind
Southern women know their religions:
Baptist
Methodist
Football
Southern women know their country breakfasts:
Red-eye gravy
Grits
Eggs
Country ham
Mouth-watering homemade biscuits with momma's homemade jelly
Southern women know their cities dripping with Southern charm:
Chawl'stn
S'vanah
Foat Wuth
N'awlins
Addlanna
Southern women know their elegant gentlemen:
Men in uniform
Men in tuxedos
Rhett Butler
Southern girls know their prime real estate:
The Mall
The Country Club
The Beauty Salon
Southern girls know the 3 deadly sins:
Having bad hair and nails
Having bad manners
Cooking bad food
More Suthen-ism's:
Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a
conniption
fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.
_____
Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas,
beans, etc., make up "a mess."
_____
Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of
"yonder."
_____
Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, . as in: "Going to
town, be back directly."
_____
Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the
white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the
middle of the table.
_____
All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the
term, but they know the concept well.
_____
Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a
neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl
of
cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also
know to add a large banana puddin'!
_____
Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and
"a
right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile
or
20.
_____
Only a Southerner both knows and understands the difference between a
redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
_____
No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn
signal is actually going to make a turn.
_____
A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an
adverb.
_____
Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines,... and when we're
"in
line," we talk to everybody!
_____
Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're
related, even if only by marriage.
_____
In the South, y'all is singular, all y'all is plural.
_____
Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
_____
Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are
perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that
fried
green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
_____
When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you
are
in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
_____
Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and"sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates
the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened.
"Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
_____
And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old
ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say, "Bless her heart" ...
and go
your own way.
_____
To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness:
Take
two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning.
Bless your heart!
_____
And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this
Southern stuff, ... bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have
classes
on Southernness as a second language!
_____
And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long
time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'all's front porch that reads, "I
ain't
from the South, but I got here as fast as I could."
Southern girls know men may come and go, but friends are fahevah!
If you're a Northern transplant, Bless your little heart, fake it.
We know you got here as fast as you could.
