Tyme2fish
Commander
- Joined
- Feb 19, 2002
- Messages
- 2,481
This is another copy and paste from the same author as before. This guy is one good writer.
Danged if it didn't happen again! Was gonna go fishing Thursday morning, as the weather man said it was going to be at least partly sunny and near 40 degrees. Got everything ready to go Wednesday, hobbling around from my prior injuries, with duct tape holding my eyeglasses frames together, and a mixed set of old scratched lenses left from prior disasters. One was a clear lens, the other was a green sunglass lens, but at least I had a pair. (Red Greene would have been proud of me). So the last thing I had to do was to run and get some shiners. Did that and got them safe in a bag with oxygen injected. I love looking at them critters swimming around in a highly pressurized environment, their little eyes bug wait out due to the pressure.
So I get home, and around 5 pm, with winds at 20 mph, and snow flurries dusting things, and temps dropped from 50 degrees to about 28 degrees in less than 30 minutes, I decide to hit the weather radar one more time to see how Thursday AM was gonna be. Well darn, now the weather man has changed his song, says its gonna be 33 degrees at best, and somewhat windy, and now cloudy all day, with a low in the AM of about 24 degrees. So I figure that's just a little too much bravado for me, so I call my friend, and we reschedule for this coming Friday AM. So far so good, only been shafted by the weather man at this point.
But now I got pressurized shiners I know will last till Thursday, but surely not till Friday. I can't put them in the live well in the boat, cause the temp drop over night would freeze the live well water and turn my shiners into mini icebergs. Can't go in the garage cause its not heated and freezing would still occur, that is if the raccoon that lives in there didn't get them first. So I get real analytical, and come up with this problem statement:
a. I need a warm, not hot, area to store the bait.
b. Bait has to come out of the bag, get fresh non-chlorinated water, and be stored for 2 days in a tank in an area that will not freeze, but not be too warm.
c. I need to aerate the bait.
TADA........WINNER.........BINGO.......GOT IT! I grab 3 each 5 gallon buckets and race to the nearby lake for some fresh cool lake water, then rush back home. 2 of the 3 survived the race trip from the lake in the back of the van. I'm not worried about the 5 gallons of lake water that's now on the van carpet, I figure it will freeze tonight, and I can scrape it off in the morning. I run down to my basement, unplug my sump pump, note it sits in about a 40 gallon tub, and dump the water I have into what is already there. Next a run back upstairs, grab the bait bag, and head down to the nice cool, not cold basement anticipating stocking my new bait tank with the shiners. In they go, no problems. Next, I grab the air pump from the old aquarium that's not in use, plug it in, and drop the stone in the sump pump tub with the shiners. I got bubbles.......SUCCESS! Okay, I know what you're thinking, why not use the old aquarium? What, you think I'm stupid?!?!?!?! DAHHHHHHH....... Everybody knows anything you put in one of those things dies, that's why there's so many goldfish in my septic tank. Besides, the sump pump tub has no corners, the aquarium does........DAHHHHHHHH.......
So I goes up stairs, grab a beer, gloat on my brilliance, and stretch out on the sofa for a nap. I fall asleep, but wake up to a shove, and a tap on the forehead. It's the wife, and her face is red. She says slowly, holding back a combination of fear, and pure meanness "You dumbie, when you were in the basement, you knocked the plug to the sump pump out of the wall. You trying to flood this place.......there was water bubbling in......I could hear it". I felt that shock of pure panic run thru my chest. I took a deep breath and said "I'm sorry, I'll go fix that right now". To which she smugly replied " Don't worry, I plugged it back in and it emptied itself out, but it sure is making a lot of noise, it sounds to me a lot like the noise the garbage disposal makes when I feed left over carrots thru it, you better check it". I dang near passed out, chest pounding, vision has narrowed. I struggle to my panicked feet, and try to walk calmly to the basement. When out of sight of the wife, I sprint to access the damage. The sump pump is near dry, but one shiner is in there flopping around. In disgust and contempt, I take the sole survivor to the toilet and bury him at sea. I figure if the other 35 of the 3 dozen are gone to "Shiner/blender heaven", this guy might as well join them thru a slightly nicer route. I walk slowly upstairs, and tell the wife "it's fixed". She asks what caused the noise she heard. No way I'm telling here, so I just shrug and say "must of been a small stone or something". I sit down to watch TV, sit there a spell, then decide to walk out back and look at where the sump pump pipe exits the basement. I don't know why, call it morbid curiosity. And right there, sits the raccoon that lives in the garage, feasting on mashed shiners, blended to what appears to be a size of his liking. JUST GREAT........WHY DID I GO TO ALL THE EFFORT TO SAVE THE BAIT, TO INVENT A LIVEWELL, TO KEEP THEM FROM FREEZING, TO *********************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************** ACROSS TOWN FOR LAKE WATER, TO SOAK MY VAN CARPETS, TO AVOID......AVOID KEEPING BAIT IN THE GARAGE, SO THE @#$!@@#$@#$ RACCOON WOULD NOT EAT THEM! THEIR YOU SIT YOU FAT PIG, EATING MY SHINERS!!!!!!!! I just turned and walked away, defeated, and now "de-shiner-ed".
Next time, I will not trust the weather man and will get bait on the way to the lake, not the night before. At a minimum, if I do bring bait home, I'm just gonna lean the process, take out the extra steps, and just feed the !@!#!@#$!@$!@#$! shiners right to the raccoon. At least he'd appreciate a slightly cleaner and fresher meal, and I'll save a lot of effort. Now all I have to figure out, is how that raccoon could be so smart, and so capable of a planner, as to have contrived this scheme to get fed. I mean, this conspiracy to get my shiners, this master plan, included getting the weather man to deceive me about the weather, getting my buddy to accept a rescheduled fishing trip, getting my wife to implode my shiners in the sump pump "blender", so they then could be piped 25 feet to a location where the raccoon could eat them without being fingered as the culprit. I just can't believe this was dumb luck........IT'S A CONSPIRACY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
iter.
Danged if it didn't happen again! Was gonna go fishing Thursday morning, as the weather man said it was going to be at least partly sunny and near 40 degrees. Got everything ready to go Wednesday, hobbling around from my prior injuries, with duct tape holding my eyeglasses frames together, and a mixed set of old scratched lenses left from prior disasters. One was a clear lens, the other was a green sunglass lens, but at least I had a pair. (Red Greene would have been proud of me). So the last thing I had to do was to run and get some shiners. Did that and got them safe in a bag with oxygen injected. I love looking at them critters swimming around in a highly pressurized environment, their little eyes bug wait out due to the pressure.
So I get home, and around 5 pm, with winds at 20 mph, and snow flurries dusting things, and temps dropped from 50 degrees to about 28 degrees in less than 30 minutes, I decide to hit the weather radar one more time to see how Thursday AM was gonna be. Well darn, now the weather man has changed his song, says its gonna be 33 degrees at best, and somewhat windy, and now cloudy all day, with a low in the AM of about 24 degrees. So I figure that's just a little too much bravado for me, so I call my friend, and we reschedule for this coming Friday AM. So far so good, only been shafted by the weather man at this point.
But now I got pressurized shiners I know will last till Thursday, but surely not till Friday. I can't put them in the live well in the boat, cause the temp drop over night would freeze the live well water and turn my shiners into mini icebergs. Can't go in the garage cause its not heated and freezing would still occur, that is if the raccoon that lives in there didn't get them first. So I get real analytical, and come up with this problem statement:
a. I need a warm, not hot, area to store the bait.
b. Bait has to come out of the bag, get fresh non-chlorinated water, and be stored for 2 days in a tank in an area that will not freeze, but not be too warm.
c. I need to aerate the bait.
TADA........WINNER.........BINGO.......GOT IT! I grab 3 each 5 gallon buckets and race to the nearby lake for some fresh cool lake water, then rush back home. 2 of the 3 survived the race trip from the lake in the back of the van. I'm not worried about the 5 gallons of lake water that's now on the van carpet, I figure it will freeze tonight, and I can scrape it off in the morning. I run down to my basement, unplug my sump pump, note it sits in about a 40 gallon tub, and dump the water I have into what is already there. Next a run back upstairs, grab the bait bag, and head down to the nice cool, not cold basement anticipating stocking my new bait tank with the shiners. In they go, no problems. Next, I grab the air pump from the old aquarium that's not in use, plug it in, and drop the stone in the sump pump tub with the shiners. I got bubbles.......SUCCESS! Okay, I know what you're thinking, why not use the old aquarium? What, you think I'm stupid?!?!?!?! DAHHHHHHH....... Everybody knows anything you put in one of those things dies, that's why there's so many goldfish in my septic tank. Besides, the sump pump tub has no corners, the aquarium does........DAHHHHHHHH.......
So I goes up stairs, grab a beer, gloat on my brilliance, and stretch out on the sofa for a nap. I fall asleep, but wake up to a shove, and a tap on the forehead. It's the wife, and her face is red. She says slowly, holding back a combination of fear, and pure meanness "You dumbie, when you were in the basement, you knocked the plug to the sump pump out of the wall. You trying to flood this place.......there was water bubbling in......I could hear it". I felt that shock of pure panic run thru my chest. I took a deep breath and said "I'm sorry, I'll go fix that right now". To which she smugly replied " Don't worry, I plugged it back in and it emptied itself out, but it sure is making a lot of noise, it sounds to me a lot like the noise the garbage disposal makes when I feed left over carrots thru it, you better check it". I dang near passed out, chest pounding, vision has narrowed. I struggle to my panicked feet, and try to walk calmly to the basement. When out of sight of the wife, I sprint to access the damage. The sump pump is near dry, but one shiner is in there flopping around. In disgust and contempt, I take the sole survivor to the toilet and bury him at sea. I figure if the other 35 of the 3 dozen are gone to "Shiner/blender heaven", this guy might as well join them thru a slightly nicer route. I walk slowly upstairs, and tell the wife "it's fixed". She asks what caused the noise she heard. No way I'm telling here, so I just shrug and say "must of been a small stone or something". I sit down to watch TV, sit there a spell, then decide to walk out back and look at where the sump pump pipe exits the basement. I don't know why, call it morbid curiosity. And right there, sits the raccoon that lives in the garage, feasting on mashed shiners, blended to what appears to be a size of his liking. JUST GREAT........WHY DID I GO TO ALL THE EFFORT TO SAVE THE BAIT, TO INVENT A LIVEWELL, TO KEEP THEM FROM FREEZING, TO *********************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************** ACROSS TOWN FOR LAKE WATER, TO SOAK MY VAN CARPETS, TO AVOID......AVOID KEEPING BAIT IN THE GARAGE, SO THE @#$!@@#$@#$ RACCOON WOULD NOT EAT THEM! THEIR YOU SIT YOU FAT PIG, EATING MY SHINERS!!!!!!!! I just turned and walked away, defeated, and now "de-shiner-ed".
Next time, I will not trust the weather man and will get bait on the way to the lake, not the night before. At a minimum, if I do bring bait home, I'm just gonna lean the process, take out the extra steps, and just feed the !@!#!@#$!@$!@#$! shiners right to the raccoon. At least he'd appreciate a slightly cleaner and fresher meal, and I'll save a lot of effort. Now all I have to figure out, is how that raccoon could be so smart, and so capable of a planner, as to have contrived this scheme to get fed. I mean, this conspiracy to get my shiners, this master plan, included getting the weather man to deceive me about the weather, getting my buddy to accept a rescheduled fishing trip, getting my wife to implode my shiners in the sump pump "blender", so they then could be piped 25 feet to a location where the raccoon could eat them without being fingered as the culprit. I just can't believe this was dumb luck........IT'S A CONSPIRACY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
iter.
Thanks for the chuckles, it sounds like me on occasion, "Best laid plans, of mice, and men", or should I say racoon, and man?