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Christmas Songs For The Psychiatrically Challenged 
and all verified by my wife Jenn who works in the Psychiatric field! <br /> <br />Agoraphobia: I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day but Wouldn't Leave My House<br /> <br />Amnesia: I Don't Know if I'll Be Home for Christmas<br /> <br />Autistic: Jingle Bell Rock and Rock and Rock and Rock...<br /> <br />Borderline Personality Disorder: Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire<br /> <br />Manic: Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and Fire Hydrants and<br /> <br />Multiple Personality Disorder: We Three Queens Disoriented Are<br /> <br />Narcissistic: Hark the Herald Angels Sing about Me<br /> <br />Obsessive Compulsive Disorder; Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells...<br /> <br />Oppositional Defiant Disorder: I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus So I Burned Down the House<br /> <br />Paranoid: Santa Claus Is Coming To Get Me<br /> <br />Personality Disorder: You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll Tell You Why<br /> <br />Schizophrenia: Do You Hear What I Hear? <br /> <br />Senile Dementia: Walking in a Winter Wonderland Miles from My House in My Slippers and Robe<br /> <br />Social Anxiety Disorder: Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas While I Sit Here and Hyperventilate<br /><br /><br />Three Wise Men <br />In a small Southern town there was a "Nativity Scene" that showed great skill and talent had gone into creating it. One small feature bothered me. The three wise men were wearing firemen's helmets. Totally unable to come up with a reason or explanation, I left.<br /><br />At a "Quick Stop" on the edge of town, I asked the lady behind the counter about the helmets. She exploded into a rage, yelling at me, "You Yankees never do read the Bible!" I assured her that I did, but simply couldn't recall anything about firemen in the Bible.<br /><br />She jerked her Bible from behind the counter and ruffled through some pages, and finally jabbed her finger at a passage. Sticking it in my face she said,<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />..<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />"See, it says right here, 'The three wise man came from afar.'"<br /><br /><br />The First Christmas Presents<br /><br />This is the time of year when we think back to the very first Christmas, when the Three Wise Men; Gaspar, Balthazar and Herb, went to see the baby Jesus and, according to the Book of Matthew,<br />"presented unto Him gifts; gold, frankincense, and myrrh."<br /><br />These are simple words, but if we analyze them<br />carefully, we discover an important, yet often overlooked, theological fact: There is no mention of wrapping paper!!<br /><br />If there had been wrapping paper, Matthew would have said so: "And lo, the gifts were inside 600 square cubits of paper. And the paper was festooned with pictures of Frosty the Snowman. And Joseph was going to throweth it away, but Mary saideth unto him, she saideth, 'Holdeth it!<br />That is nice paper! Saveth it for next year!' And Joseph did rolleth his eyeballs. And the<br />baby Jesus was more interested in the paper than the frankincense."<br /><br />But these words do not appear in the Bible, which<br />means that the very first Christmas gifts were NOT wrapped. This is because the people giving those gifts had two important characteristics:<br /><br />1. They were wise.<br />2. They were men.<br /><br />Men are not big gift wrappers. Men do not understand the point of putting paper on a gift just so somebody else can tear it.<br /><br /> <br /><br /><br />Merry Christmas Everyone!!!<br /><br />Bob & Jenn
and all verified by my wife Jenn who works in the Psychiatric field! <br /> <br />Agoraphobia: I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day but Wouldn't Leave My House<br /> <br />Amnesia: I Don't Know if I'll Be Home for Christmas<br /> <br />Autistic: Jingle Bell Rock and Rock and Rock and Rock...<br /> <br />Borderline Personality Disorder: Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire<br /> <br />Manic: Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and Fire Hydrants and<br /> <br />Multiple Personality Disorder: We Three Queens Disoriented Are<br /> <br />Narcissistic: Hark the Herald Angels Sing about Me<br /> <br />Obsessive Compulsive Disorder; Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells...<br /> <br />Oppositional Defiant Disorder: I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus So I Burned Down the House<br /> <br />Paranoid: Santa Claus Is Coming To Get Me<br /> <br />Personality Disorder: You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll Tell You Why<br /> <br />Schizophrenia: Do You Hear What I Hear? <br /> <br />Senile Dementia: Walking in a Winter Wonderland Miles from My House in My Slippers and Robe<br /> <br />Social Anxiety Disorder: Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas While I Sit Here and Hyperventilate<br /><br /><br />Three Wise Men <br />In a small Southern town there was a "Nativity Scene" that showed great skill and talent had gone into creating it. One small feature bothered me. The three wise men were wearing firemen's helmets. Totally unable to come up with a reason or explanation, I left.<br /><br />At a "Quick Stop" on the edge of town, I asked the lady behind the counter about the helmets. She exploded into a rage, yelling at me, "You Yankees never do read the Bible!" I assured her that I did, but simply couldn't recall anything about firemen in the Bible.<br /><br />She jerked her Bible from behind the counter and ruffled through some pages, and finally jabbed her finger at a passage. Sticking it in my face she said,<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />..<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />.<br />"See, it says right here, 'The three wise man came from afar.'"<br /><br /><br />The First Christmas Presents<br /><br />This is the time of year when we think back to the very first Christmas, when the Three Wise Men; Gaspar, Balthazar and Herb, went to see the baby Jesus and, according to the Book of Matthew,<br />"presented unto Him gifts; gold, frankincense, and myrrh."<br /><br />These are simple words, but if we analyze them<br />carefully, we discover an important, yet often overlooked, theological fact: There is no mention of wrapping paper!!<br /><br />If there had been wrapping paper, Matthew would have said so: "And lo, the gifts were inside 600 square cubits of paper. And the paper was festooned with pictures of Frosty the Snowman. And Joseph was going to throweth it away, but Mary saideth unto him, she saideth, 'Holdeth it!<br />That is nice paper! Saveth it for next year!' And Joseph did rolleth his eyeballs. And the<br />baby Jesus was more interested in the paper than the frankincense."<br /><br />But these words do not appear in the Bible, which<br />means that the very first Christmas gifts were NOT wrapped. This is because the people giving those gifts had two important characteristics:<br /><br />1. They were wise.<br />2. They were men.<br /><br />Men are not big gift wrappers. Men do not understand the point of putting paper on a gift just so somebody else can tear it.<br /><br /> <br /><br /><br />Merry Christmas Everyone!!!<br /><br />Bob & Jenn 