Do you believe in Social anxiety, anybody have it?

[wildmaninal]

I studied up on it some and honestly I have nearly all the symptoms of it. As for the symptoms I wont get into details on them but here is a link "http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_anxiety". I really didn't realize it until chatting with somebody over the internet and they were somewhat joking, they didn't know me in person and they happen to bring to my attention that I am or have social phobic/social anxiety. This would explain allot, and also explain why I can chat over the internet comfortably but talking with someone in person is hard for me or nearly impossible, and there are a few other reasons like trying to find a job and going to interviews are also hard. I am more comfortable being by myself, even though I am temporarily back at home with mom. I always said that I wouldn't get my personal life tied up on the internet but, it's not like anybody knows me in person. I can't afford to go to any doctor, much less afford medication.

I know this isn't a medical website but any input that you guys have would be much appreciated.

 

[waterinthefuel]

Re: Do you believe in Social anxiety, anybody have it?

I don't know psychology, but I think you can be scared to talk in public. I'm nervous in front of a large crowd of people, but I have no issues with talking in a small crowd of 5 or less.

I think if its really bad then you could have issues with work or whatnot. I worked in customer service and had to be comfy meeting total strangers who flew into a dark airport ramp. I met most of these people by flashlight. You want to talk about something that makes you nervous!!?!?!!?

 

[Vlad D Impeller]

Re: Do you believe in Social anxiety, anybody have it?

I'm not so sure that here would be the the place that one would get the absolute necessary advice that you may possibly need to repair what is most likely a mental healy issue, such matters ought to be handled by the appropriate professional.
My 2 cents.

 

[Haut Medoc]

Re: Do you believe in Social anxiety, anybody have it?

Have four shots of Cuervo & call me in the morning......​

 

[Bob_VT]

Re: Do you believe in Social anxiety, anybody have it?

Have four shots of Cuervo & call me in the morning......​

It is said that a glass of red wine is good for you....... so a whole bottle must be great!

 

[wildmaninal]

Re: Do you believe in Social anxiety, anybody have it?

Vlad the Impeller "I'm not so sure that here would be the the place that one would get the absolute necessary advice that you may possibly need to repair what is most likely a mental healy issue, such matters ought to be handled by the appropriate professional.
My 2 cents."


I'm not saying I have social anxiety, but I am saying it would explain allot if I do have social anxiety. I am not asking for anybody on here to cure me, I know that isn't possible. If anything I am just asking if anybody believes that social anxiety is real or is the term being blown out of proportion to explain shyness, or has anybody ever dealt with it if there is such thing.

But in all I really don't think it is an emberassing subject to talk about on here, I am know to be very anti social especially lately in person.

 

[oops!]

Re: Do you believe in Social anxiety, anybody have it?

hey wild..
happy new year.

as vlad pointed out...
and he is right...

having said that..

im no professional
but ive seen thousands of guys that were uncomfortable, geeky, nerds, weird, a...h..ls (another word for them is ...body part!) and people just plain uncomfortable inside their own skin.....

seen em all fixed...yup ...better.

thoes people seemed to have a deep inner fear that somthing was wrong with them and if they interacted in person, they would be dicsovered.

in my first 20 som odd years. i was a profesional discjockey.
my girst gig..was in in my own jounior high school. my company got hired for the dance. the real jock couldnt make it. so i had to do it. it was in front of 500 kids...knew most of em..friends, school hotties that i had a crush on and they didnt know it. to the school bullies. talk about under a microscope!

in my years after that i was at bars and clubs till i moved into radio...
largest crowd i ever spoke in front of live was 15,000 at a festival in the nwt.
on the radio my ratings said i had over 1.2 million listening at one time.

in the bars i witnessed social interaction of all types.
it was a fantastic place to learn how to..and how not to interact with humans...
i can go on this subject for hours..really.

but hers a few suggestions.
go find a medium sized bar, club, or other social gathering reason (bowling league, curling league)...and yes where booze is served...very important if you want to break this feeling. (the older the croud the more accepted you will be) kerokae joints are fantastic for this.
either get a part time job there, join or just hang out.
go there and stand in a comfortable area, by a wall, a corner, some place you can observe the interaction between people. dont stare ! and move from spot to spot from time to time. you dont want to "creep the chicks out"

after some time. (it takes a year or two) you will see what to do and not what to do.
with all the people around you that uneasy feeling will be gone. you will be able to have short conversations with no problem, you will be used to it.

i saw a compleate social weird schmuck, that all the girls avoided like the plauge. walk into a keroke joint and in a year he was a different person. confident. he even got his share of girls. was a terrible singer. (horrible) but that got better too. he just kept tryin.

just a few short common sence rules.
a smile is the most disarming thing you can do to a girl.
dont drink. much. a soda with lime juce is a great drink to carry around all the time.
dont get personally involved with anything!!!!
do on to others as you would have done on to yourself !!!
(put other people before your self...)
obviously avoid places that people get stabbed or shot in.
have fun!

it takes a year or two, but after that its a peice of cake.

if this idea doesnt float your boat. there is a group called toastmasters.
awesome you will learn public speaking. after that social speaking, (general one on one interaction, 2 on 1 or more. will be a joy. what its supposed to be.

this thread is getting long. but thoes are some ideas ive seen work. no pills , no drugz. no bills.
you afarid of lions? walk into the lions den!
good luck and go for it!

cheers
happy new year
oops

 

[oops!]

Re: Do you believe in Social anxiety, anybody have it?

holy smokes was it ever long.....
took me 1/2 an hour to write it!

i like the teq idea too!

 

[JB]

Re: Do you believe in Social anxiety, anybody have it?

Been around for millenia, Maninal. We used to call it shyness.

Not a big deal. "Social Anxiety" is just one more personality trait that has become a money maker for shrinks.

Is there a "cure"? I don't think a "cure" is at all necessary. It is part of who a person is. If they decide to change it, it can be done.

Terrifying as it may seem to some, a course in public speaking can help a lot. I have seen lifelong stutterers discard their stuttering and shy persons become great conversationalists in that process.

BTW, I prefer 12 year old single malt Scotch to the Cuervo.

 

[wildmaninal]

Re: Do you believe in Social anxiety, anybody have it?

Oops! I appreciate the long post, I always wonder what it would be like to be a disc jokey......I've done the bar seen back in the time I was dating this one girl. I haven't bowled in years, but I use to hang with my manager from one work place at a bowling alley. I really grew into this feeling about six years ago and I have kept myself cooped up in my room and away from everybody outside of family because honestly I can't trust anybody. That said, I was invited to a party, out of state for this evening and I really felt like I should of went but I turned it down.

I hear ya JB.....that is exactly what I have been thinking about "that it has turned into a "trait that has become a money maker for shrinks".

Boy don't I come up with some doozies for a subject .

P.S. I enjoy my Budweiser

 

[i386]

Re: Do you believe in Social anxiety, anybody have it?

It's easy to dismiss if you haven't experienced it. I'd prefer not to discuss it here but feel free to PM me.

 

[tashasdaddy]

Re: Do you believe in Social anxiety, anybody have it?

try this http://forums.iboats.com/showthread.php?t=230012

 

[Lone Duck]

Re: Do you believe in Social anxiety, anybody have it?

Just be yourself. Don't give a damn what others think. Then you will be comfortable in your own skin. If you wish to teach yourself how to interact with others , join a small local toastmasters club. Give people your opinion and if they disagree and you don't want to debate, move on. No sence talking to a stone wall. You have better things to do. Nuff said.

 

[RubberFrog]

Re: Do you believe in Social anxiety, anybody have it?

Did manimal lose it on this thread?

 

[mudmagnet63]

Re: Do you believe in Social anxiety, anybody have it?

Have four shots of Cuervo & call me in the morning......​

THERE WENT 1, ..... 2..... SALT LIME...3......4 NOW I FEEL BETTER

 

[Caveman Charlie]

Re: Do you believe in Social anxiety, anybody have it?

Oops! I appreciate the long post, I always wonder what it would be like to be a disco jokey......I've done the bar seen back in the time I was dating this one girl. I haven't bowled in years, but I use to hang with my manager from one work place at a bowling alley. I really grew into this feeling about six years ago and I have kept myself cooped up in my room and away from everybody outside of family because honestly I can't trust anybody. That said, I was invited to a party, out of state for this evening and I really felt like I should of went but I turned it down.

I hear ya JB.....that is exactly what I have been thinking about "that it has turned into a "trait that has become a money maker for shrinks".

Boy don't I come up with some dozes for a subject .

P.S. I enjoy my Budweiser

Sounds a lot like my story. Except my problem started when I got busted by the police. After that I shut myself up in the house and have been here ever since. The longer I stay alone the weirder I get. My problem is that nobody wants to do stuff with me. A perfect example of that would be fishing in my boat. The people in my area either want to go to the bars get drunk and get arrested or they stay home even more then I do. You have to be rich to get over social anxiety around here. I've learned to go camping and fishing by myself. It's either that or stay at home . I wish you lived closer and we could get together to do some stuff.

 

[DJ]

Re: Do you believe in Social anxiety, anybody have it?

You have to be rich to get over social anxiety around here.

I don't buy that for one minute. Economic status has nothing to do with it. There are people, from all walks, that socialize with each other. YOU have the choice of which social group you want to belong to.

I am a loner, by nature. I am quite satisfied to be alone.

HOWEVER, I meet strangers every day and I have to fix their problems. That is not the best way to meet people but I HAVE to do it. I am also no longer afraid to speak in front of hundreds of people. There are some tricks to it.

Interpersonal:

1. You do not have to be the life of the group. A GOOD LISTENER is much more appreciated than someone that has an opinion on everything. A wise man once said: "It's better to be thought a fool then to open your mouth and remove all doubt". Plus, my personal favorite: "I never learned anything when I was talking".

2. Find people that have similar interests. You found this board, we all have similar interests. We value your opinion and you do well in expressing your opinion when and only when you feel you have something to add. Interpersonal, is no different.

3. Personally, I think bars are a terrible place to meet and get to know people. There are many distractions and people are not the same there as in everyday life.

4. Start reading a lot. Reading can really boost your vocabulary and context.

Speaking:

1. Don't let yourself get into a position where you have to speak UNLESS you know what you are talking about. That requires study. Most people can read through BS.

2. JB mentioned taking a public speaking course. That is an excellent idea. Don't be embarrassed. People are there for exactly the same reason you are. There are just different levels of ability but a professional instructor can guide you. The skills learned will help in any situation, interpersonal or group.

 

[Kevin-Shearer]

Re: Do you believe in Social anxiety, anybody have it?

It's the difference from being an introvert or an extrovert. I'm an introvert my wife is an extrovert (pretty common in couples). I use to be the biggest introvert that walked. I had absolutley no self esteem and would have anxiety attacks when forced to socialize. Got into sales as a profession and it absolutley changed my life. What you will learn at some point in your life is that you are as valuable as anyone else that walks this earth. I have given presentations to presidents of fortune 500 companies and believe me they put their pants on the same way you do! I swear the more you socialize the more you learn to appreciate what you have to offer! My god there are some stupid people out there and alot of them are in control of some pretty amazing things. Pretty scary when you get right down to it. Don't sell yourself short!! If someone acts like they are better then you that is not someone you want to associate with anyways. Some of the most amazing people I have ever met were very successful but they got that way by not be judgemental. Are you a judgmental person who treats people a certain way because of a pre-conceived notion? If you are stop being that way and you will have far more success on the social ladder. If you are not that way then why are you being that way with yourself? Alot of people judge themselves far greater than anyone else judges them. Most people care to much about themselves to really care about anyone else. Just listen to most conversations, you'll easily see what I mean. I'm starting to write a book so I'll stop but add one of my favorite sayings. "The purest form of honesty is true sincerity --- so if you can fake that"! Fake it if you have to at first, it'll come naturally eventually.

 

[Nandy]

Re: Do you believe in Social anxiety, anybody have it?

Did manimal lose it on this thread?

Naah, I doubt it. He seems to be a goo person, I just hope it is temporary.

 

[oops!]

Re: Do you believe in Social anxiety, anybody have it?

exellent post dj.
all very true

i only disagree with the bar part just a little bit.
a very little bit.

its a good place to learn the do's and dont's.
thats the point.
i was allways behind the dj booth so i was an observer.
observing, you can really see how to interact properly.....
(bear in mind this is early in the evening, by 11 30 it turns into a gong show and get outta there!)
i would have posted more about it but but the legnth was gettin crazy

i also suggested toastmasters.
i believe everyone should join for a bit.
its a fantastic oppertuinity to become a good/great conversationalist.

believe it or not church is another good one

as far as reading goes...fantastic.....just watch you read! you can get sucked so far into the fiction world...(si-fi for example) that you get weird!
history is one of the best...you gain knowlage and more.

any how, wild.....you aint nutz...or o lot of other man made names like, social anxiety....youve just grown more comfortable in your "space"......

now your starting to think about stepping out of your space a bit more...
thats all.....forget the pills...the doctor bills.....

look at the movie "what about bob"....brilliant...
and so true.... he began to interact in a loving enviroment...(the family) and he began to change....

cheers
oops