Dumb Human Tricks (THE ORIGINAL POST)

flips · Dec 23, 2001

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still on the floor laughing . 2 quick ones mate and myself out in is old race boat inboard/ prop and shaft slide out push back in wont go all the way home so he kicks it yeh miss prop and finds skeg puts hole in thong weeks later has sore foot gives it a press and out pops misssing thong. the boys have had afew up at one of our lakes grab boat (tinny) and go to do some fishing drive 20 k put boat in got fuel but nothing to conect to oops left motor back at camp.

DG · Jan 17, 2002

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Just two dumb human tricks. Story #1 Brother and I take 17' runabout out for madien (for us) voyage. Get her in the water ok, engine fires up great, stick her in reverse, no go, lower end all blown up. Get truck and trailer, put boat on trailer. Brother says 'hey, this wheel is making some noise' as he kicks left trailer wheel. Wheel 'looks' ok from the lug nut side. I pull truck onto highway, gun engine, cut curb too close, right tire goes up curb, left wheel (previously noted as making noise) breaks clean off hub, transom straps don't hold, boat goes across two lanes of traffic. If we had had a good day boating, that would surely have ruined it. Story #2 Take wife and 16 month old daughter out on different boat, forgot the plug DOH! no bilge pump, kindly gentleman on ramp lets me drag my boat onto his trailer to drain. Put plug in, then take boat out and figure out THEN that I have a carb problem, engine won't stay running. Wife won't go boating with me anymore.

skier · Feb 1, 2002

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Well Guys: I have been boating/skiing since I was three (3) I am 37 now. The one thing that has got me a few times is the "Plug". See, when I was growing up we had a 1967 16' Glaspar and my Dad installed an "Automatic Bailing Plug" it was a rubber flap that would let water out, but not in. I never ever thought about the plug being in or not, cause we never put a plug in. This rubber flap stayed in all the time. Well, I now have a 1996 16' Glastron and the "Automatic Bailing Plug" won't fit into the whole without taking the brass fitting out and I'm not about to do that. I have launched this boat about 6 times without the plug and because the boat has a "Stepped Hull" I have to get in the water to install the plug. One of these days the plug might become part of my checklist. One of my favorite things to do is go to the boat ramp and watch all of the things that people do. I have even seen a guy run his battery almost completely down trying to start a 35hp Merc. He said a lot of things that I can't say here and went to get the battery out of his truck. I went over and lefted the "Lift For Cold Start Lever" held the chock button in and turned the key and it fired right up. Another thought that his powertrim/tilt was broken cause when it goes from fast to slow (Tile to Trim) he thought that was as far down as it went. I know of three that take the cake. First, Guy backs in a new 96 bass boat with a Merc 225 trys to start it and finds battery low. Pissed off he pulls up about 100' from the water and pulls the battery out of his truck and switches with the boat battery. While still 100' from the water starts the Merc and revs it many times and lets it idle while he is in line for the ramp. Gets to the ramp and is surprised that it dies. Second. I was on Lake Washington putting my parents 16' Glaspar on the trailer (Using the winch) when this guy pulls up in a 86 jet boat and a van and trailer (Same paint job) backs in. The guy in the boat looks at me and said "This is how we retrieve a boat now adays" He then backs up and guns the motor and guns it a little too hard, hits the trailer and jumps off and onto the ramp next to the van. the lady in the van just looked at him and shook her head. Third. I towed in a jet boat cause he sucked his ski rope into the jet. HE puts the boat on the trailer but not all the way foward so he can get to the jet from under I guess. To thank me for towing him in he asks if I want to go skiing. I said yes and jumped in the boat with the 5 others. He pulls up and starts backing down and I start hearing a very loud scrapping sound. I turntward the van only to find that the van is near the top of the ramp with the brake lights on. We went 2/3 the way to the water without a tow vehicle. We hit the water and kept going. When the boat slowed down enough the stern dove under and lots of water came in. there was only about 2-3" of freeboard left. That was the last time I ever sat in a strangers boat while being launched.

ebbtide176 · Feb 1, 2002

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not too long ago, i decided it would be nice to make my cold storage box watertight around the inner rim, in case i wanted to hold some lg shiners, and keep the water from sloshing out thru the little space from tub to deck. this big box is located under the seat just in front of windshield, and it holds probably 40qts(it works great now) But getting back to story; i get a can of spray foam and seal most of the rim. i find the only way i can get to part of it is to shimmy halfway up windshield(feet in the air) and get my head down in box to see what i'm doing. my elbow slips and i pile into that box, getting myself lodged completely!

can't get any leverage with feet or only arm not in box, not about to yell for wife since she'd hafta use block&tackle to ceiling joists to move me... finally wiggling like a madman & cussing seems to do the trick, while shimmying backwards upsidedown up windshield. too tired to finish, went to bed. Wake up hardly able to stand up straight.

make it thru work all day, but shoulder is killing me. Come home go back to garage, pull up garage door for fresh air, but since its raining hard pull it down enuff to walk under. run outside to get something, run back slip on leaf just at garage, bang head on bottom of garage door that was just not high enuff. this stops me dead in tracks, severe whiplash, now i can't turn my head... irritatedly, i just go to bed. Next morning i wake up, can't get out of bed, it evens hurts to breathe. barely able to put my clothes on, don't tie shoes. go to chiropractor, find out i have 3 vertibrae out of whack and 2 inflamed discs... after 3 days and another visit i'm finally ok

wetgluts · Feb 18, 2002

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Dont know if this is a boat. fishing or golf story but here it is. The Pro at my old club who was a retired navy captian of an aircraft carrier (old fighter pilot) told of the admiral who would call him and arrange a meeting as some golf course some where and both would fly in for the match. Low and behold the retire admiral called on day and since they both liked to fish more than golf went out in a borrowed skiff for some bait drowning. When they arrived at the remote "best spot" for reds, the captain told the admiral to through out the anchor which he promptly did. The problem, soon discovered was the complete absence of an anchor line. Wetgluts

oldmerc80 · Feb 20, 2002

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I was at the lake, just putting around in my 14' jon and spotted a little rubber raft that was sinking into the lake. I rev the engine and go to see whats the matter and there is a teenager in the water screaming. There is a big hole in his raft. It seems that he tried to put a 5hp Johnson outboard on the back of it. The thrust from the engine forced itself forward and upward into the bottom of the raft. The engine chewed through the vinyl and both the engine and the raft sunk. I'd hate to have been him when he got home!

BBogey · Feb 23, 2002

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New to the boating world, I had several people remind me about carrying extra plugs and MAKING SURE I ALWAYS HAD THE PLUG IN! My thought was who in the world could be stupid enough to leave the plug out???? Answer? = ME!!! **** near sank it...

Valv · Feb 26, 2002

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BBogey, I believe that's the most common mistake WE all make. I have a 14' aluminum fishing boat, I was at the ramp, load all tackle, rods, finders, etc., back trailer in water, release boat, move ahead trailer, drag bow to shore to park it for a minute while I go park truck. On my way back I notice boat has WATER in it...of course, my thought was "the plug". Well, there was another guy backing up, and from water flow I wouldn't have time to go pick truck and back up again, so I started motor ant toke off for the lake. Somebody told me that if you "go fast" it will suck water out from hole.....only 1 way to find out.....wrroooommm (I have a Mariner 30hp), boat stands almost straight in air, since weight on stern (approx 200 gals of water) is enormous, well I go back and forth on lake for 1/2 hour (15 minutes with bow up in the air, then I reach plane speed) use half of the gas, and guess what.....IT DID WORK....water got sucked out form hole. So, next time you forget plug....don't feel bad, there'll always be worse...and watch out for these idiots with bow up in the air trying to empty boat

Val

fishhunter · Feb 26, 2002

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very funny stories guys.This is my first time at iboats.com ,been here for hours now reading these funny stories,many i can relate to, cuz it's happened to me.Brings back lots of fun memories of fishin trips I've been on in the past. I would like to share a couple of funny fishin stories with you. my best buddy and I and his ol-man were going to go down to gains creek near thier home in southeast Oklahoma to do some catfishing.We had the old jon-boat hangin out of the back of the truck with the battery an trollin motor and all our gear in it as always,we would slide the boat and all the gear out in one haul. But when we got to the low-water crossing in the road we found the creek was up and couldnt cross to get to our usual honeyhole.So we decided since no one would be drivng thru that day we would put the boat in right there! We didnt want to get the truck stuck again like we had before. (note: if your truck is stuck in the middle of the creek crossing,dont get out on the upstream side )so we back the truck up to the creek and get out to unload the boat,but there is a mad wasp buzzing around everytime we tried to slide the boat out here it would come,and we would back off for a sec then try agin and here comes the wasp. Finally getting anxious My buddy sez "come on lets get this boat otta here... I'll watch your back you watch mine,he's all over ya" lol after laffin bout 10 minutes we finally get the boat out and slipped it in the water. My buddy got in the front and i pointed the boat out toward the middle and hopped in.The ol-man was just watchin from the bank ,which is where i was begining to wish i was,cuz when that boat got turned so the pointy end was down stream and the flat side upstream, THE RIDE WAS ON! We was movin like we were shot out of a cannon!About thirty yards down stream was a HUGE oak tree what the water was rolling in under and around it....and WHAM!we slammed head-on into it and all the gear and me too went to the front with my buddy mashed into the tree.He was trying real hard to push us around the tree and the boat got sideways,and now the lip of the boat was about a 1/4" from going under! Thot we were gonna die. But we didnt,

my buddy and I managed to push the boat around the tree and got to the wide run where we could tie some lines while the old man walked the bank (pointing where he wanted us to put em lol )When we got to the other end of the run we discoverd our trolling motor was not powerful enough to get us upstream....had to carry that boat across a 40acre wheatfield.The old man was tired from all that walkin so we took him home lol

Fishbusters · Apr 21, 2002

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NEVER EVER put one of those flip type plugs in from the outside of a boat. We went out years ago and had the boat plug in. Hours later after going through some weeds and such we started getting wet feet. The plug (still attached to string) had been flipped and pulled out. My mom was so scared the boat was gonna sink. Ever since then I either bought t plugs or have had jon boats i could put them in from inside. Af course I have finally solved this problem with my pontoon.

DJ · Apr 22, 2002

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I've posted this before, but it's a good one. I have a buddy that is best described as a real life Homer Simpson. He's on his way fishing and stops for gas. Fills up his six gallon can and takes off forgetting to put the cap on. He being as smoker, lights one up and when he's finished he flicks the butt out the window. guess where it landed. Huge fireball going down the road at 60 mph, quite a sight. He stops, barely got the truck unhooked before the entire boat/motor/trailer rig burns down to the lug nuts.

scottyb · May 1, 2002

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Havent you ever grabbed a six pack & went to the local boat ramp in the afternoon.When the seas are rough,its almost as fun as fishing-well!wonder what i look like coming home?

wiggler · May 2, 2002

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djohn... call the parametics... I've laughed so hard I think I broke something.

ThatHadToHurt · May 2, 2002

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Buddy of mine's parents buy him a waverunner for his graduation. He has hung around my family (boating for 10+ years) for a while at the lake. Can mildly wrench but here comes the story. He is changing spark plugs(easy enough?) and somehow doesn't tighten #3 all the way and just a few short weeks after taking delivery of his machine seizes the pistion, snaps the rod, and bends the crank from taking water through the spark plug hole. D'oh. Another $2000 later he is back in action with a very important lesson learned. Oh yeah, I did the drain plug thing once on an old waverunner. The pontoon doesn't use one

The nautique is an inside plug

haven't forgotten it yet.

skier · May 2, 2002

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scottyb, I go to the boat ramp a bunch just to watch the show. I saw a guy with an old Johnson or Evenrude and as he was getting out of the boat kick it into gear at about 1/2 throttle and **** if it didn't beat him to the concrete ramp. Another guy with an offshore racer with three Mercs took 8 attemps before he even came close to the trailer. This year I'm bringing the video camera. America's Funniest Home Video's, here I come. Craig

Ross J · May 3, 2002

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Story read in a British magazine - Gent taking delivery of new boat $400,000+ price range. Salesman takes gent and wife out to explain the various controls etc. Bringing the vessel back into dock and about 50m short of rocks this craf6t jumps into "full ahead both" and creates $150,000+ damage. In the following investigation they discover that whilst cleaning up wife had positioned, "the two pretty shiny things", into the full forward position thinking it, "looked more tidy that way". Needless to say gent went out without his wife for a while once he got the boat back! Ross

Admin5 · May 31, 2002

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^

Franki · Jun 2, 2002

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I think it should become law that all new boats have a "Have you checked that your plug is in" sticker on the controls somewhere.. we appear to have all done it at some stage.. Its by far the most common "happened to me once" story. rgds Frank

DaleT · Jun 4, 2002

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Hey frank my boat actually has a sticker that has that on it. Only problem is it's not very big and partially hidden by the throttle controls.

Franki · Jun 4, 2002

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yeah, I guess the other problem is that I don't get in the boat till its in the water.. I usually test start by reaching over the side, so I wouldn't notice it till it was to late... maybe they should make a warning buzzer like the headlight warning on modern cars, so if the ignition is on withouth the bung in, it beeps... should create one, might sell

Dumb Human Tricks (THE ORIGINAL POST)

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