Family and money

[Tyme2fish]

Yesterday, my wife's sister asked to borrow $500.00 She said I'd be paid back in two installments of $250.00 over the next two months. What could I do? I loaned her the money.

This morning, my oldest son asked to borrow $300.00 to $400.00 to catch up and pay off some credit card debt. He's been working two jobs since his divorce in an attempt to pay off debts.

I almost always loan money to my wife's kinfolk when they ask. I've only been "stuck" a few times.

But why do I always feel like a schmuck when I loan people money? Hey, I'm quitired with NO INCOME and watching my porfolio go in the tank in this economic mess we are in now.

I've delayed and put off some needed medical tests for myself because I can't afford the procedures at this time,even with self paid health insurance.

Oh well, I can't take the money with me to my grave, so I might as well help those that need it now.

No actual question here. Just needed to get it off my chest.

 

[avenger79]

Re: Family and money

saya could I bother you to help a friend in need out..........................


just kidding, but seriously their lucky to have you. Many (myself included) would not be so quick to help them out.

 

[rjlipscomb]

Re: Family and money

Can I borrow $500, I'll pay you back next year sometime???

ONLY KIDDING, during the best of times, people borrow from family they trust will not ask a lot of questions or push hard back. In these times of economic woes, people are having a tough time staying afloat. Your son needs to clear interest laden debt. Good move, but is taking steps to stay in the black? You won't ask because that's why he came to you. Feel good, they trust you to be you and that's apparently a good positive thing.

 

[CaptainKev]

Re: Family and money

It's one of those "Catch 22" things. Both of my kids are recent college grads. if they have to ask for money......they really need it. If I were to grill them, the chances are they wouldn't ask and then sometime later they would be in a world of hurt. I never consider it a loan because I'd be disappointed when they didn't pay it back. It's tough out there for twenty somethings, what with school loans and trying to get decent jobs. I'm glad it wasn't that tough for me at that age. These days are super hard on everyone. I can't help but feel that a lot of companies are taking advantage of the economic climate and treating their employees unfairly with these forced furloughs etc. Just my opinion.............
Kev.

 

[SS MAYFLOAT]

Re: Family and money

When my kids were at home, it was hard to keep cash in my wallet. Now they are out of the house, I'm able to keep a few bucks in it. However now that the kids are grown, its no longer 10 or 20, its in the hundreds when they need help.

I have one rule that I stick to. If you borrow money, you cannot and will not get anymore until the original amount is paid back. Then if they haven't paid it back and need help, I'll put gas in their car, go to the store to buy their food, or write a check directly to whoever needs paid.

One daughter WAS on our cell phone plan. She paid every month for 2 years. Then finally it got to the point of having to hunt her down to get her to pay her share. My wife called her and she said she had the cash. Wife went over to get the cash and then was told she didn't have it. After that "I" shut off her phone. 2 years later she is now wanting to get back onto our plan,,,,,,,,,,,,,"NO" you had your chance and we are not going to do it. We figured that would make her mad, but it didn't,,,,,,,,,,she still loves us

 

[marine4003]

Re: Family and money

With family its tough, i came to the mindset that if someone asks to borrow money,and the stated reasons are valid..i will GIVE them the money..so if its not re payed..i dont get all pissed,but if it is re payed..its a nice surprise.Another way to repay,especially with male family members..is to work it off, i own a marine construction company..after working at $10 an hour until the debt is payed off...its not often i get asked again...

 

[Fly Rod]

Re: Family and money

Loaning a few hundred to family is no big deal. If they do not pay cut loose, no more loans. Should always have a signed letter of debtness from the person or persons involved in the loan plus if any interest and date when it will be paid back. This way you will breeze by Judge Judy, she will give you a gold star.


Never! Never! Never! co-sign a loan for a family member or anyone else. In most cases it will come back to kick you in the butt.

 

[kenmyfam]

Re: Family and money

Mrs Ken and I hand it out to our Family whenever absolutely needed. Essentials only. I have been like the "credit counseling" service to our children over the years. I only know how to help from being there myself when I was their age. Before I will lend them money I usually negotiate on their behalf with the creditors to freeze interest and get the payments to something they can afford...but without hurting their credit score. Once we get an agreement I usually then call the creditor with a 1 time payout offer for significantly less than the previous negotiation. A lot of times it works and I then pay it off for them and they pay me in installments. As soon as the negotiated price is paid by them to me they are quite surprised that it is all over earlier than expected. As they have got older and more experienced with money their need is virtually non existent now. However they know we are there if they need us.

 

[Bob_VT]

Re: Family and money

It's good for the karma

 

[skargo]

Re: Family and money

If you can afford it, just give it as a gift, and consider it a bonus if you get it back some day, some way. No hard feelings that way I have found.

Friends can go pound sand though

 

[rbh]

Re: Family and money

heres a thought go on vaction, pick up vacation insurance, drive to canada and go to the emergency room! tell the doc you have these problems they will probably take care of your tests
and you still can drink good beer.

 

[Shizzy]

Re: Family and money

I agree with what has been said.

My Father also told me years ago to never loan out any amount you cant afford to loose.

I have loaned friends a few hundred a couple of times, but it was always paid back. no family has ever asked for money from me. I would hand it over in a heart beat if they did though.

my family tends to be more of a "needs help with a project or a situation" then a needs cash. Ill gladly help tear off a roof, hang siding or watch a little one for anyone.

 

[getinmerry]

Re: Family and money

I have no problems loaning money, but I require the recipient to write me post-dated checks on a schedule that we both agree upon. That way, I can cash the checks on the specified date. It's good incentive for the recipient to have the money there otherwise the bounce fees will kill them. So far, I've had no problem.

 

[thefairlaneman]

Re: Family and money

My brother had a kidney stone and lost 3 weeks of work and asked for 500 last friday. I gave it to him knowing I most likely wouldnt get it back. The issue TODAY is the wife is giving her sister a retirement party and for some crazy reason wants to have her picked up at work on her last day in a limo. Price is 2 hours minimum 75 per hour . Since NO ONE who works with her will even see it and the ride from work isnt but 15 friggin minutes I objected saying it wasnt worth it. She hasnt even worked out the details as to who will drive the sisters car back (its a police car ) . When the wife is determined to throw money away I have no say other than get mad and then its all put on me for causing a problem . Its so stupid because the SIL is working her last day at a city office complex and her cop car has to be returned to the police dep several miles away. Im so pissed off I told her I wasnt going to ride in the limo and maybe I wont even attend the out of town party for the SIL......

 

[lowkee]

Re: Family and money

I'm with SS mayfloat on this one. I have no issue lending friends/family money, and so long as they pay back what they owe I will do it again. If they don't, they can find a new bank until they do.

When the wife is determoned to throw money away I have no say other than get mad and THEN its all put on me for causing a problem . Any ideas?

You may take this the wrong way (or your wife may), but what she wants to do IS stupid, and she needs to get her head out of her.. It also sounds as though this is not the only money wasting idea to come up, which means the other ideas were not shot down in a manner final enough to prevent future 'outbreaks'.. or you are guilty of the same thing and it is 'her turn', in which case someone has to break the trend before you are asking someone else to borrow money.

 

[south texas]

Re: Family and money

I will loan money on occasion, but prefer not to.. When I do, I make a plan with the borrower of how much and when the paybeack will begin. If they do not adhere to their payback obligations, I tell them to keep it, but NEVER ask for another loan from me. I discovered Dave Ramsey a few years ago and he has some interesting opinions on this. I recommend checking him out.

 

[i386]

Re: Family and money

Nope. No more.

Put them on our cell plan to help them out. Wiped their slate clean twice after they'd got behind over $500 paying us. Funny how after they got their own plan they always manage to pay it.

 

[ShaneCarroll]

Re: Family and money

Well, in instances like this, I guess it's good to be broke. . I'm only 25, and if absolute need be, I can dip into my 401K, but I would rather do without some things (a weekend on the boat, cigarettes, beer, night out at dinner). I have been on both sides of this debate, borrowing money from my parents in my younger troubled years, but I guarantee that I busted my @$$ to repay them as quickly as possible. I worked 30 hours OT a week JUST to pay them back. Now, when I loan money, the borrower better have some means of paying me back, I.E. a job!! It better also be for a good purpose, not something like, "Well, I am going to the casino, can I borrow a couple hundred?" I have been burned for probably a total of $900, only from one person that lived in my rental apartment, and refused to pay rent and "abandoned" the premises.

I hate borrowing money from people, and I keep lending to a minimum, but if someone needs me to buy a tire or something for their car, or pay a light bill, I will pay it.

 

[aspeck]

Re: Family and money

Hey T2F, I need some more "boat bling!" Do you want to adopt me so I can borrow some of your hard earned cash?

 

[Tyme2fish]

Re: Family and money

Sister-in-law just repaid $250.00 as she said she would. One more payment in August.