Family and money

[kenmyfam]

Re: Family and money

Sister-in-law just repaid $250.00 as she said she would. One more payment in August.

That should give you a warm and fuzzy feeling then. Glad to hear it.

 

[jay_merrill]

Re: Family and money

Definately a tough situation. Its one of those "damned if you do, damned if you don't," things. If you don't help the SIL out, your wife may get mad at you, but if you do at a time when you have medical needs, you are doing something that probably isn't a good idea.

I think what I would do is to have a chit chat with the wife. She might surprise you and tell you that she is sick of people borrowing money from y'all. If not, she might be receptive to a review of your resources and your needs. Hopefully she will understand that deferring medical needs, while lending money to others, is not in the best interest of either of you.

 

[thefairlaneman]

Re: Family and money

A year or so ago the wife signed a friggin contract for her verizon cell phone and had the sons included. The wife pays the bill (120 bucks a month) and got insurance on the kids because he has already lost/had stolen/dropped in swimming pool 3 phones. he called last week and said he was without phone cause he dropped it in the swimming pool. No problem.he would just go get another one..NOPE.He go and gets the newest gizmo and pays 150 extra and then because he is upgrading verizon then cons him to sign up for another 2 year contract.................I told the wife he was going to pay it .period. I have tried to tell him to always avoid any contract he can because if you default on one it will screw your credit for many years........all because of a cell phone.no way.The smart thing to do was to have gone and got another replacement phone and solved the problem BUT NO HE FIGURES A WAY TO INCREASE HIS DEBT AND SIGN A new CONTRACT AT THE SAME TIME. I plan to go and be sure verizon takes him off of our bill and the NEW CONTRACT does not extend the wifes phone commitment too......

 

[wajajaja02]

Re: Family and money

My children understand, they are both out of college now, that "loans" are advances on my senior care at their house for my future which they are merely advancing the date if I don't get repaid. Other relatives leave post dated checks for the loan amount.

 

[Tyme2fish]

Re: Family and money

Here it is September 20th and S.I.L. has yet to repay me the remaining $250.00. Funds were due me August 1st.

Seems her son got arrested again for driving without a valid license. He's 34 years old and is now under house arrest for 1 year for repeat offender of driving charges. The county wanted to put him away for 8 years in the big house but his lawyer got him off under house arrest.

S.I.L. is too embarrased to even stop by our house anymore as she knows she violated our "contract."

Will the non repayment cause me to not be able to pay a bill? No.
Will I hold it over S.I.L. ? Yes

Now before y'all call me a BIG MEANIE I wasn't the one to be stupid and get thrown in jail. I wasn't the one that lived beyond my means. S.I.L. is still writing checks that bounce and then pays the bank $20.00 or whatever the fee is to cover a bad check. I was 14 years old or whatever when I learned to not write a check that isn't covered by funds in the bank.

Did I expect this to happen? Yes I did. But what can you do when family is in need?

I know S.I.L. didn't expect her son to get arrested and that was not why she borrowed the money from me. I can understand her postion in this problem: Pay me back or contribute to her son's legal fees. If it were me, I'd probably make that same decision.

 

[tashasdaddy]

Re: Family and money

i would have left him in jail. sounds like this is not his first DUI. as an employer, when my workers got arrested on Friday Night, we did not bail them out until, Monday morning. it was a ritual for one man, he would take his babies mama, her money, she would call the cops, immediately.

 

[Tyme2fish]

Re: Family and money

This was not a DUI (although he has had them in the past.) Driving on a suspended license this time.

 

[eaglejim]

Re: Family and money

I can't tell you how much money we have invested in my SIL oh how I dislike alcoholics,at least mrseagle says no more.Now she doesn't call as much because she now that her sister turned off the faucet,watch out TD she is in your neck of the woods.Hey what do you do when you don't pay child support ----You Move that is her answer

 

[dr_bowtie]

Re: Family and money

Too bad...

I dont mind helping people when in need if I can....big word is "IF"...

I dont borrow money because I dont believe in it...I will on occasion lend money under the "if" when I have it...rule is I will do it once and if you pay me back DONT make a habit of it...I aint gonna be the go to guy...

If you dont pay it back I will NEVER loan money under any situation....

Seems sometimes if you have money or not alot of bills and you do okay and others know it then they are apt to always ask you for help...I always say when asked I dont have any money...

plus now I be a little stern about it...

I ask like this...

you want to borrow money from me...? I have 9 kids and you have how many? I have more mouths to feed than you do...I should be borrowing from you...!

borrowing is like using credit...if you dont have it now how are you going to pay it back later...? chances are good you cant...

 

[kenmyfam]

Re: Family and money

Well you got half back !!! and she has burned a bridge in the process. You could request that she pays a smaller amount per month till it is cleared up but don't hold your breath on getting it. Just gives another option.

 

[tashasdaddy]

Re: Family and money

"Driving on a suspended license" that is even worse. a drunk without a license, no insurance.

 

[BoatBuoy]

Re: Family and money

$250 might be a cheap price to pay for not being harrassed again for more loans.

 

[H20Rat]

Re: Family and money

2 rules in life... never 1) sell a boat or 2) lend money to relatives or friends! especially #1, because it is very likely to lead to #2.

 

[bruceb58]

Re: Family and money

You are lucky you only lost $250. Whenever I loan money to relatives, I don't expect to get paid back and then it doesn't bother me when they are late.

I got divorced a couple years back and need to borrow $50K for a year in order to pay off the ex. Took me a year to pay them back because I couldn't do a refi right away becuase of a title SNAFU. My parents were never worried...but I felt bad.

 

[Tyme2fish]

Re: Family and money

I think the rule of thumb here is to never LOAN more than you're willing to GIVE AWAY. :redface:

 

[bruceb58]

Re: Family and money

I think the rule of thumb here is to never LOAN more than you're willing to GIVE AWAY. :redface:

Exactly.

 

[Shizzy]

Re: Family and money

I think the rule of thumb here is to never LOAN more than you're willing to GIVE AWAY. :redface:

true, BUT

what does her 34 year old Son have to do with the $250 she owes you? something sounds fishy to me. Around here (not sure about your state) a driving under suspension is only a ticket. no court date or anything. a fine, a fee, a 30 day suspension and another fee and your back on the road. But again, if he is 34 years old this should all be his issue not yours.

but I also agree with the $250 to make her never ask for money again.

 

[mikeandronda]

Re: Family and money

I have a son we have loaned out a good bit of money and even forgiven debts on vehicals..........He has always paid us back or at least tried and I would do it again anyday.....got a brother I wont even let know where I live........I got some friends I would have no fears helping out and some Im not gonna go out of my way for. I guess each person is judged on our history together.

 

[Tyme2fish]

Re: Family and money

SIL just stopped by and gave me a check for the remaining $250.00 she owed.

 

[belairbrian]

Re: Family and money

Can I ask a different question on family and money?



here is the situation. We are meeting the in-laws next weekend for a few days. We are taking our fifth wheel and have convinced them to stay with us. When we were staring out my FIL was always trying to help. The day we closed on our first house He insisted a take a few hundred dollars just in case. That night I gave it back. It was a bit funny because he counted it and I had given him more than he gave me. Till then we rented a house from them ( i suspect he was taking a loss but can't prove it).

Now things are kind of reversed. I'm retired military and now work as a civil servant. Wife has a job as well mainly to keep busy. Our monthly expenses are about 40% of our bring home income. So Monetarily we are pretty well off.

They are retired and living off savings and investments. OK, finally I get to the issue. My FIL still thinks we are poor. Insists on paying if we go out to dinner. Wants to pay for gas if we drive our truck. He built his business from scratch and did well. 40+ years in the body shop business with only word of mouth advertising. I don't want to hurt his feelings but don't want him to spend money on us. What can i do? Last time my wife had to yank the check out of his hand and refused to give it back.