Family and money

[insanity]

Re: Family and money

Can I ask a different question on family and money?



here is the situation. We are meeting the in-laws next weekend for a few days. We are taking our fifth wheel and have convinced them to stay with us. When we were staring out my FIL was always trying to help. The day we closed on our first house He insisted a take a few hundred dollars just in case. That night I gave it back. It was a bit funny because he counted it and I had given him more than he gave me. Till then we rented a house from them ( i suspect he was taking a loss but can't prove it).

Now things are kind of reversed. I'm retired military and now work as a civil servant. Wife has a job as well mainly to keep busy. Our monthly expenses are about 40% of our bring home income. So Monetarily we are pretty well off.

They are retired and living off savings and investments. OK, finally I get to the issue. My FIL still thinks we are poor. Insists on paying if we go out to dinner. Wants to pay for gas if we drive our truck. He built his business from scratch and did well. 40+ years in the body shop business with only word of mouth advertising. I don't want to hurt his feelings but don't want him to spend money on us. What can i do? Last time my wife had to yank the check out of his hand and refused to give it back.

Make a deal with him that you pay half, or you pay one time next he foots the bill.

 

[tx1961whaler]

Re: Family and money

Can I ask a different question on family and money?



here is the situation. We are meeting the in-laws next weekend for a few days. We are taking our fifth wheel and have convinced them to stay with us. When we were staring out my FIL was always trying to help. The day we closed on our first house He insisted a take a few hundred dollars just in case. That night I gave it back. It was a bit funny because he counted it and I had given him more than he gave me. Till then we rented a house from them ( i suspect he was taking a loss but can't prove it).

Now things are kind of reversed. I'm retired military and now work as a civil servant. Wife has a job as well mainly to keep busy. Our monthly expenses are about 40% of our bring home income. So Monetarily we are pretty well off.

They are retired and living off savings and investments. OK, finally I get to the issue. My FIL still thinks we are poor. Insists on paying if we go out to dinner. Wants to pay for gas if we drive our truck. He built his business from scratch and did well. 40+ years in the body shop business with only word of mouth advertising. I don't want to hurt his feelings but don't want him to spend money on us. What can i do? Last time my wife had to yank the check out of his hand and refused to give it back.

If this is occasional thing, LET HIM DO IT and say thank you. He has been a provider to his family all of his life and this makes him feel useful. He's not trying to make you feel bad or belittle you. He's old school, he's the dad, end of story.

 

[eaglejim]

Re: Family and money

Agree with whaler,My Dad is the same way he knows we do well he still always pays, we got together with my Mom and Dad over the summer at Football Hall Of Fame and the only thing that I could get him was a hotdog and a drink and I think it is only because I had money in my hand I guess it is my job as the Son to let him do as he wants

 

[jkust]

Re: Family and money

There are very few people I would lend money to for any reason and luckily no one has asked yet. Mother-in-law because she showed kindness and gave shelter when I needed it when I was a teenager many years ago before I married her daughter and that is about it. My kids are small but I hope we bring them up to be self sufficient.