Friends that Invite Themselves When You Go to the Lake

[scottmm73]

Re: Friends that Invite Themselves When You Go to the Lake

Scottmm73, It appears they are close friends and the wife already said yes. I am sure they, like myself ,have said to the friends...you should come out sometime.

The wife, simply answered the question if they were going out on the boat this weekend. From the OPs post, no one asked the neighbors to come. I know how I would handle it.

 

[haulnazz15]

Re: Friends that Invite Themselves When You Go to the Lake

Yes, there is. You simply state that "we" were not on the same page. Our mistake. We're going alone.

Take the opportunity to plan another date.

I would disagree. If they agreed, they have already committed to it. In the future, they will need to be more assertive on maintaining it as a family-only event. Agreeing to let them come along (regardless of whether they invited themselves) makes them obligated to continue, less you want the neighbors to harbor any ill-will because you went back on your word.

 

[KnotConnected]

Re: Friends that Invite Themselves When You Go to the Lake

Right. Once the invitation's been made there's no graceful way to take it back. You're stuck this time.

You and your wife need to work as a team, i.e., no commitments without prior discussion between you both. You're supposed to be a couple.

My .02

Respectfully disagree. Call'em back or go over there and say "hey, we were talking about it, and actually wanted some family alone time this weekend." If you really feel obligated or don't want to upset them (assuming they're good friends) immediately follow up with a "lets figure out what other weekend works instead" or, immediately follow up with some other family bonding activity other than going out on the boat if that part stresses you out. Otherwise, just leave it at "we'd really rather like to spend some time to ourselves". If they ARE offended, don't sweat it. Any normal person would understand, and their lack of social aptitude shouldn't be your burden.

...BE careful though, if you have a hard time saying no, or doing anything that might displease someone, the propensity to follow up with something else that works right away trick can often get you stuck into committing to something you ultimately don't want to do at all. Sometimes ya just gotta put up with the discomfort and do it.

 

[Home Cookin']

Re: Friends that Invite Themselves When You Go to the Lake

well if you're going to back out/reverse the invitation, better do it quick; it's not right to string them along or have them change their plans just to be stood up.

 

[Grub54891]

Re: Friends that Invite Themselves When You Go to the Lake

Have friends that do that,learned to say when they ask,what ya doing this weekend.....We say,staying home unless we do something last minute. They'll say lets go 4- wheeling or go to your lake,is your boat ready?? Ummm.... Well long story short,we just pass on the self invite,and plan for a different weekend when our schedule permits. If they can't make it...oh well....!
Had a friend years back,used my duckboat every weekend,I said why don't you buy a boat? He says I don't need to,I can get you's any time! So I changed all the trailer plug's to some old obselete type.... He came to get it,asked if I had any plugs to change his over,nope,... He got the message, bought his own boat. Lol
Grub

 

[Campylobacter]

Re: Friends that Invite Themselves When You Go to the Lake

We don’t tell anyone we are going out on the boat. That’s that. My boat, my time, days off are few and far between. I will be on Jordon Lake NC this Sunday and no one knows. Oh' wait, I just told everyone - what was I thinking. :faint2:

I can meet you at the Seaforth ramp. Is 9 too early?

 

[lexer440]

Re: Friends that Invite Themselves When You Go to the Lake

Been in this very position myself. Next time just tell them sorry, this is family time, maybe another day. My friends are my friends and they understand completely, and they are still good friends today.

 

[NC Broker]

Re: Friends that Invite Themselves When You Go to the Lake

I can meet you at the Seaforth ramp. Is 9 too early?

See what I mean? LOL :facepalm:

 

[bonz_d]

Re: Friends that Invite Themselves When You Go to the Lake

Took a poll here, wife has also read this thread.

We are for the most part always "on the same page" though at times we do slip up. We also are in a position because of work that we only get 4 days a month to spend the whole day together and our quality alone time supercedes everything else. 5 days a week we see each other at most 1 hr a day, then the other 1 day we might get to spend 5 hours together. I work nights, she works days!

1st of all, we'd not have agreed to change plans no matter how good a friendship there was. We have even said no to the children because we already had plans set.

In this case we agree that we would have to admit that we misspoke and that other plans had been made. If they get upset so be it. Wife and I plan to be together for a long time yet and have learned to live well together. So again the short time that we get to spend together trumphs all other activities.

 

[jayhanig]

Re: Friends that Invite Themselves When You Go to the Lake

We don?t tell anyone we are going out on the boat. That?s that. My boat, my time, days off are few and far between. I will be on Jordon Lake NC this Sunday and no one knows. Oh' wait, I just told everyone - what was I thinking. :faint2:

Can I come along? Actually Sunday is a bad day for me so could we go Saturday? I want to bring my grandson. He's slmost completely potty trained now. He seldom has an accident any more.

 

[h2odick]

Re: Friends that Invite Themselves When You Go to the Lake

Since you're feeling so generous, do you mind if my family comes along? I'll buy the aggravation and headaches!

 

[Noltz]

Re: Friends that Invite Themselves When You Go to the Lake

I want to come too. Can you pick me up?

Honestly I would have doubled back to the neighbours, grabbed the husband and said "This weekend won't work for a joint outing. I've already got a sitter lined up for our ours. This weekend is just for the missus and I. Call me next week and we'll make sure we get out soon."

 

[redneck joe]

Hi jilly bean, welcome to the foru however this is a really old post and anything over 90 days ols need to stay asleep unless reopened by the original poster.

Start one for yourself, great topic...