Funeral Question

[hostage]

Normally I would ask my parents, what they think on something like this, but they are away w/o email/phone contact.

A coworker of mine who I worked with for 2 years died, he was 34. We were not extremely close, but I would go out to lunch with him and others. I plan to attend calling hours today. But I don't know if it would be appropriate for me to go to the funeral tomorrow. It is taking place during the work day and a few of the other guys I work with have known him for 10 years.

Thanks for your input

 

[ehenry]

Re: Funeral Question

It doesnt matter wheather you were close or not. If yall were friends, by all mean, go to the funeral. Pay your respects there is nothing inapporpriate about going to a co-workers services wheather you knew him well or not.

 

[HANGEYE]

Re: Funeral Question

It doesnt matter wheather you were close or not. If yall were friends, by all mean, go to the funeral. Pay your respects there is nothing inapporpriate about going to a co-workers services wheather you knew him well or not.

Agreed. Having worked with him for 2 years and saying hello to him many times, one last goodby is in order.

 

[aspeck]

Re: Funeral Question

The funeral is for the living, not the dead. His family will appreciate seeing that his life touched the lives of others enough to inconvenience themselves to come and pay their last respects. If you were a friend, you will probably appreciate being able to say good-bye one last time.

I HATE funerals. Unfortunately, my calling in life has me officiating funerals. During these times I have seen family so touched, so moved, so given a feeling that their loved one had a purpose here on earth, just because of certain people coming to the funeral service. Since you were a friend/acquaintance, if you can possibly go, and you feel some sort of need to go, then by all means, GO! It will help you and the family.

 

[Tig]

Re: Funeral Question

Go. If you respect the man, then this is where you pay your last respects. I would think an employer would encourage this sort of showing of respect.
BTW, The local Mobil plant shut down for the funeral of one of their operators a while back.

 

[JB]

Re: Funeral Question

What aspeck said. Funerals are for the survivors.

Who, and how many attend is a snapshot of how the departed affected his/her world.

I recently attended the funeral of my son's Mother in Law in a small N. Texas town. The attendees filled three parking lots and the roadside for nearly a mile. The chapel was full, the reception area was standing room only and there was a large crowd outside.

I took that as the greatest compliment her world could bestow on the dear lady.

 

[jeffnick]

Re: Funeral Question

I don't feel comfortable at funerals. I won't ever go alone, but can be talked into accompanying family members who are attending.

 

[commander315]

Re: Funeral Question

I say go if you feel you want too. I dont think the others will look down on you for going...its a nice gesture.

 

[LadyFish]

Re: Funeral Question

Go if you can. There is nothing more heatwarming to a family than to see all the lives their loved one touched.

I went to a funeral a couple of years ago and other than the gentlemans wife and daughter, we were the only ones there. Not a co-worker and he held the job for 10 years. It was extremely sad and harder on the family than if they saw a room full of people who cared.

 

[waynehol]

Re: Funeral Question

If you would go to have lunch with him, than by all means go to the funeral.

There are couple of tips I have learned over the years:

1) Never say "if there is anything I can do..." to the departed loved ones. There is nothing you can do.

2) DO say something like "I am sorry for your loss. I will miss Bob (or whomever)

3) Don't be afraid to share a funny or precious memory with one or more of the departed loved ones but keep it respectful. "I will never forget playing golf with Bob when he fell in the lake on 11" or whatever.

 

[kenmyfam]

Re: Funeral Question

What has been said already and it helps with the "closure" for yourself when it is someone you know as well as you do.
My Thoughts.

 

[Autotech]

Re: Funeral Question

As aspect said so the family will be greatly apprecitive of all that come to pay final respects. No matter how well you knew him. Services are for the living.

 

[ezmobee]

Re: Funeral Question

A coworker of mine who I worked with for 2 years died, he was 34. We were not extremely close, but I would go out to lunch with him and others. I plan to attend calling hours today.

Personally that would be all I would do if someone I knew about as well passed.

However, in answer to your question, it is never inappropriate to attend a funeral of someone you knew really in any capacity.

 

[slia67]

Re: Funeral Question

The funeral is for the living, not the dead. His family will appreciate seeing that his life touched the lives of others enough to inconvenience themselves to come and pay their last respects.

Wow, I had never thought of it that way before. I'm like jeffnick, I can't stand funerals or funeral homes (if I have it my way, I won't be there for mine, lol). But thinking about it Aspeck's way, I guess I'll have to suck it up and deal with my hebbie-jeebies.

Thanks, Aspeck. You opened my eyes.

 

[rbh]

Re: Funeral Question

+1, It is defienetly for the deceased family.

 

[mscher]

Re: Funeral Question

My 87 year old Mom (who has survived two husbands, one of which was my Dad), attends so many funerals. she jokingly calls them "social events". Maybe it's a matter of perspective. Since so many are dying of old age, there is not nearly as much intense sorrow (at least openly) as a younger victim.

Most of the time the mourning family is out of sorts, so just quickly introduce yourself and your relationship with the deceased, give condolonces and move on.

My childhood friend became a hermit many years ago, shunning all outside contact. He had been dead 3 months before someone found him. A wierd situation for sure, but I would not have missed the wake for all the world. Turned out to be quite good time as I saw old friends and reminised about old photos and old parties. I believe that is what my old friend really would have wanted. When I die, somebody better bring a beer keg!

Just another life event. Don't miss out on the life events.