Girl issues, part 2

[oddjob]

Re: Girl issues, part 2

Ya know its funny...we still, as (single adults )have the same problems. And we give ourselves the same advise as we give you. Ryan , your So young, you have the luxury of time. Use it wisely. Throw that one back and keep fishing. eventually you will find another, and another. I sware it. Take your time, you have plenty. Your # 1 Ryan. Always, dont forsake yourself.<br /><br />OJ

 

[Haut Medoc]

Re: Girl issues, part 2

You posted before I did.....And I hate to say it ,but November 21, 2005 06:40 AM <br />--------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />My condolences on the loss of your "boys". In time she may hand them back to ya,……………ON A PLATTER………………… If not, fear not, they will grow back.........in time. Good thing you’re young.<br />Sorry, but I see that in the future....Not my quote , but relavent none the less...If you wanna "get some " ...Go for it! But don't sell yourself short in the "long run".....IMHO.....JK

 

[Haut Medoc]

Re: Girl issues, part 2

I really hate it when I have to agree with 'Boom' & "OJ" on the same post... That cannot happen I thought....Never say never, but in this case ...But...When they are right, what can I do?...I LOVE you guys, man!....Save yourself for someone who is deserving, Ryan.... ... ... .JK

 

[Pony]

Re: Girl issues, part 2

Letting go can be tough. About two years ago I had some problems with a girl that I was good friends with. I had known her for two years previous. I had the "luxury" of being her friend while she went through some crappy boyfriends. Then after awhile me and her started discussing the possibility of going out.......yada yada yada she went back to one of her old boyfriends while I stayed on the back burner "waiting it out". At the time I honestly felt I loved her, but finally realized that if she truly and honestly had those same feelings for me, there would be absolutely no way she could go back with one her previous boyfriends. I moved on, reluctantly. We both decided that we needed space etc to go our own ways and see what might happen. To make a long complicated story short, I have talked to her once in the last year and a half. <br /><br /><br />Now the brightside. I am currently in a great relationship with my current girlfriend of 10 months. I have known her for 4 years. Good luck to ya Ryan.

 

[Boomyal]

Re: Girl issues, part 2

Originally posted by Haut Medoc:<br /> I really hate it when I have to agree with 'Boom' & "OJ" on the same post...

I guess that means we have achieved the much hallowed state of 'Moderate', even if only momentarily, huh Medoc?

 

[Reel Poor]

Re: Girl issues, part 2

Let a sleeping dog lie...or you might get bit.

 

[TwoBallScrewBall]

Re: Girl issues, part 2

Words above are good advice:<br /><br />Imagine the same situation, but you are the outsider and a friend of yours is you, and think about what you would honestly tell them.<br /><br />Ryan, the girl sounds like she's got some bats in the belfry. You will never make up her mind for her. Getting her friends and family together to disuade her from seeing Mr. 21 will only cause resentment and likely push her further toward him, or whatever else she decides she wants today. <br /><br />People do what they want to do. She is doing what she wants to do. You are doing and going to do what you want to do. Good luck. I wish you the best. Most of us have been there, where you are, with this chick. On again/off again/on again/etc. When you find the right one, even the off agains will never really be off, just turned down. I really wish you the best whatever happens bud.

 

[rodbolt]

Re: Girl issues, part 2

aww eell<br /> things are all outta whack<br /> stars are alining and moonbeams are bending. where is quietcat and 12 ftr<br /> so far boom,oddjob,medoc and rodbolt are agreeing. dont happen often and its actually civil. see ryan even adults can close ranks.<br /> ya need to back up. take stock of what ya have and where ya wanna go. mostly ya wanna watch what she does and where she wants to go.<br /> I was married 22 years been single almost 5, had both kids bymyself for almost four years, met a gal down in venezuela a few years back. may get married again in the next year or so. best advice I can give is go slow, pay attention to trusted friends and adults. you may not believe it now but your parents are not near as dumb as you may think. having been there and done that and had to make 6 years of payments on the tee shirt I can speak from some perspective.<br /> slow down, your young, hormones are a backflippin. chat with your preacher,school counsler or trusted adult friend thats sober. dont shop for advice until ya find someone that tells ya what ya wish to hear. ill refrain from a political comment .<br /> by the very fact you asked a group of total strangers advice and keep asking your posts show your thinking. problem with youth is its all wasted on the young.<br /> if the young lady wishes to enter a relationship with you you need to spell out some ground rules for acceptable behavoir and stick with them.<br /> lord knows I spent my share of 36 hours awake with my gut in a knot wondering why she did what she did and I had a 20 year experience jump on you.<br /> but I do remember what it was to be young and in love. I am not making light of it and no one else is. your the one with the feelings and emotions and your the only one that can control them.<br /> but keep questioning the relationship, make sure it benifits your emotional health. if its causing problems its the first sign to run<br /> maybe in another post ill tell my story.<br /> its a novel, the court file in dare county is almost 9" thick. I got a lotta miliage in a few years.<br /> and I got to know the DA,asst DA ,clerk of the court, 5 judges and about 10 lawyers on a first name basis and we say hi to each other in wally world and food lion to this day. the attys fees were over $33,000 in 5 years. anyway hang in and take it slow and remember there are folks that care about you.

 

[kenimpzoom]

Re: Girl issues, part 2

Ryan, you need to learn very quickly that you need to stay far away from girls like that.<br /><br />Trust me, they are nothing but trouble.<br /><br />Dont forget, they will lie to your face, just to keep the game alive.<br /><br />Ken

 

[lakelover]

Re: Girl issues, part 2

Originally posted by alden:<br /> Advice? sure, stay out of it. I believe it was the same advice as months ago. <br /><br />Good Luck.

I usually don't post much to Dockside, but thought this was worth a "ditto".<br /><br />And another good luck & hang in there.

 

[sloopy]

Re: Girl issues, part 2

I don't want to sound blunt, but almost any girl your age is going to have some friend who is older then you. It is just something that every sixteen year old has whether her parents know about it or not. Now I don't know nor do I care to know the whole story ( I just skimmed your first post and read 2 replies) but I am assuming that you believe this girl is having sex or wants to have sex with what someone else named Mr. 21. More than likely Mr. 21 (again I don't know the whole story you may have a real screwed up situation like I did a while back) does not want to have sex with her and does not even want to be around her. It may seem that this older guy and girl are really going at it but most of the time in these situations the couple barely knows each other and the older man (or woman) just feels sorry for her. The young female will give you the image that she and this guy are really going at it, when in fact she just follows this guy around a mall or constantly text him/calls him. Most men hate this! So here is what I would do: LEAVE!!! She is just trying to get attention and wants to see how far you will go. DON'T do what I did and avoid the girl completely, still talk to her and try to be friends with her BUT pretend you know nothing about the other guy and if she knows you do just don't give a ****. IF all else fails and she comes crying over to you, print this and give it to her. <br />Take it easy.<br /><br />again I don't know the whole story and this is just my not very intelligent opinion

 

[sloopy]

Re: Girl issues, part 2

Originally posted by Ryan T.:<br /> For all who don't remember:<br /> http://www.iboats.com/cgi-bin/ubb/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=20;t=011894 <br /><br />but she's able to sneak around them, he's slept over his house in the past, had sex with him for her first and only time, and I think he may have given, or tried to get her to drink.

Don't jump to conclusions, she may just be telling you and her friends this. Unless you walked on them in the act, don't jump to conclusions. You may end up screwing up your friendship with this girl.

 

[sloopy]

Re: Girl issues, part 2

Originally posted by Ryan T.:<br /> <br /> I'm really at the point where I want to do something drastic about this.<br />Any advice?

Don't. You don't need to, it is not your duty to fix some girls problems. If you try to get involve the walls will come crashing down and everything will be your fault. The girl will be all innocent and everyone will stand by her. (the best way to describes this is to tell you that she has two things every male in your school wants, and she could be caught red handed and it is still going to be your fault.. although a couple guys may stand by your side, stay away from them... )

 

[RubberFrog]

Re: Girl issues, part 2

You don't live in a one-chick-town, do you? Go find another one.

 

[PW2]

Re: Girl issues, part 2

Ryan, Ryan, Ryan...where to start?<br /><br />One thing you will learn over time is that you can make decisions for only yourself. You can't make decisions for anyone else. You can offer advice, but it is up to them whether they follow that advice. And the harder you push that avice the less likely anyone will follow it.<br /><br />The one piece of valuable advice I got from my father was...<br /><br />"Son, you get involved with anything that's got tits or tires, your going to have troubles"

 

[oddjob]

Re: Girl issues, part 2

lol^

 

[kenimpzoom]

Re: Girl issues, part 2

FINALLY!!!!<br /><br />Something PW2 said that I completely agree with!!!!!<br /><br />Gonna have to remember that one for my son. <br /><br />Ken

 

[JasonJ]

Re: Girl issues, part 2

I know I have said this before, dating and friendships are supposed to be fun, especialy at your age. If you had been friends with this girl since kindergarden, I would understand the investment of your time, but you really have not had this person in your life long enough to spend this much time and torment over. I know this will sound bad, but in any relationship the good should always outway the bad. So far, I have only heard a lot of bad with a few snippits of good. That is not a healthy way to live.<br /><br />In the short few months this person has been in your life, think about all the torment she has put you through. It really isn't worth it. I also understand the male dynamic of wanting to "save" her, to rescue her from herself. I can say with 100% accuracy that you will never save her, you will never change her to what you want her to be. You won't upstage Mr 21 with your amazing abilities. If this is about being a man, a real man admits defeat and walks away, knowing his energy is better spent on more productive pursuits. Good luck though...

 

[Limited-Time]

Re: Girl issues, part 2

Sounds to me like, out of the frying pan and into the fire there Ryan. See all above post, IMO definite lack of Blue Matter. With youth comes the ability to blindly rationalize to our “hearts desire”.

 

[rogerwa]

Re: Girl issues, part 2

I am actually quite impressed with how mature Ryan is. In my days, I would have stalked her .<br /><br />Looking at it from the "other side" (meaning I just turned forty and I have been married for 15 years and have four kids), you are too young to be serious. Now is the time in your life to try out a lot of diffrent things to get a really good understanding of what you want for the rest fo your life. There are a couple of really big humps in front of you that will go over before deciding on someone. <br /><br />The first hump is graduating from HS. That first year out of HS was a big transition period for me. I was dating a girl that was a year younger. We were pretty serious. It was the first time that I was her friend first and then we dated. I thought she was the one. And then she went off to college, and very shorlty that was the end of me. Her priorities changed. That was the most emotionally destroyed I have even been to this day..<br /><br />I thought I loved her, yet I was an *** when push came to shove..<br /><br />Not to quote Garth Brooks, but I thank God for all my unanswered prayers. I would never have met my wife had God answered my prayers. I can look at my life to day, my wife, my wonderful kids, and don't regret a minute of it.<br /><br />When your time is right it will happen. You don't need to force it..