Expidia
Commander
- Joined
- Aug 26, 2006
- Messages
- 2,368
Re: How do I quit drinking
Congrats, this is the longest post I've ever seen on a boating forum
I'd personal chime in on this persons drinking issue, but as soon as the poster said "they've been to AA and they know all the answers" . . . I write them off!
I've personally helped LOTS of people quit what I like to call their "too much" behavior... I'll start with a quick "course" on why people do these... (drink, drugs, smoke, overeat, etc)
It all start with feelings... What most people don't realize is that ALL feelings are good... Feelings are like the "dashboard" of our life/minds...
Think of it like this... When you're car is about to run out of gas, the gauge reads "E" and the "fuel light" comes on... The fuel light is an indicator that "something" is wrong... In this case, it's the fact that you're about to run out of gas!
Our feelings are not quite so easy to "figure out"... The tell us something, it's just that often times we ignore what it's really trying to tell us...
Imagine if you would a person who had no concept of what a "fuel light" was... They drive down the road and suddenly notice a light on on the dash... The look at it, and maybe even realize that it's telling them something, but they have no idea what it means...
The pull off to a gas station and go inside and buy an ice cream cone... MMMMMmmmm! That ice cream cone sure is good!!! They take off and continue their drive... They enjoy the ice cream so much that they "forget" about the gas light... It doesn't get their attention at all!
Eventually though the ice cream is gone and they notice the light again... Hrmmm that's not good... Better pull over and get another ice cream cone!!!
The ice cream cone is nothing more than a "distraction" from the real problem... If they continue to buy ice cream to distract them from the real problem, eventually they are going to run out of gas...
People are the exact same way... We have a primary feeling... Let's say anger... We get angry about something... That anger is our minds way of telling us that something is wrong... We need to "fix" something in our lives...
The problem is, many of us don't take the time to "listen" to it and solve it... Instead we find a distraction... We binge on food, or smoke another cigarette, or in your case drink until we're drunk... That "distraction" takes away the feeling... The fuel light goes out so to speak.. Or at least it provides enough distraction that we don't notice it anymore...
The problem is, since the "problem" is never resolved, as soon as the distraction is over, the feeling comes right back....
That begins a cycle... Feeling -> distraction -> feeling -> distraction -> feeling -> distraction and so on...
EVENTUALLY this brings on another feeling... The secondary feeling of frustration... Frustration is our minds way of telling us that what we are TRYING to do to fix our problem (that's causing the anger) is not working...
But alas, most of us STILL choose not to listen... Instead of saying "Hey, this frustration means my "solution" isn't working, I need to try something else", we instead say, "Ohh, I better distract myself again..."
Which leads to a new cycle... Frustration -> distraction -> frustration -> distraction and so on again...
That cycle leads to the last step along the way... The tirciary feeling of depression... That's when we "give up" on fixing the problem... Sometimes we become self distructive, lose our values, etc... It's our minds way of trying to "reboot" itself... Unfortunately that rarely works either...
Let's take the example of anger above... The first step is to identify the feeling... In this case we know it's anger... Now we have to "solve" that problem... For anger (and it varies depending on the feeling) we first have to identify what causes the feeling... Anger is caused by feeling like we were treated unfairly... (guilt is that we treated someone else unfairly, etc) So now we have to identify who treated us unfairly... Then (in the case of anger) we can resolve it... First you as yourself if it was REALLY unfair... Let's say in this example the persons boss is making them work LOTS of overtime hours and they aren't able to spend any time with friends and family... Is it REALLY unfair though? Maybe in his job interview this person stated that they loved to work and would work as many hours as needed... So at least some of the situation is because of our actions... So we accept a little of the blame and some of the anger goes away... The next step would be to attempt to make it fair... Maybe you explain the situation to your boss and try to come up with a fair compromise... You get every other weekend off for example... Now a little more anger goes away... But now let's say there is still 20% of the anger left... The last step is to FORGIVE... That's a much more difficult thing than most of us realize... Forgiving is NOT about the other person... It's about OURSELVES...
Anyway... Now comes the interesting part...
You might think... well... It all started when I lost my job... I was felt <blank> when that happened, so I need to resolve that... In truth, it probably goes MUCH deeper (and MUCH further back) than that...
Now a quick little blurb about myself and why I know these things...
You've also got hypnotists out there that use age old techniques like progressive relaxation inductions and direct suggestion techniques that JUST DON'T WORK... Sure, you might quit smoking/eating/drinking for a day or two IF they got lucky...
The problem is, let's take a typical visit to a classically trained hypnotist office... You go in, lay back in a chair or couch and they start telling you to close your eyes... relax... focus on each muscle group and relax it... walk down a staircase in your mind... etc...etc...etc.. An hour later IF you're still awake (cause you've probably fallen asleep!) you MIGHT be in SOME state of trance... The hypnotist has NO IDEA what level of trance you're in.. (At LEAST level 3 is required for direct suggestion to even work)... They spew off some "You won't drink anymore... every time you take a sip of a drink it'll taste terrible, etc..etc..etc..." crap and then wake you up and send you out the door...
WRONG... ALL ABOARD THE FAILROAD!!!
Here's the deal... Direct Suggestion doesn't work... At least not for more than a few days... Why? Simple... Because just like a distraction, it doesn't "resolve" the issue... Only attempts to modify you're behavior... Even if it DOES work, the underlying issue still exists at which point you'll just move on to a NEW distraction... Great... Now instead of a drinker you're gaining 300lbs overeating!
Remember I said the problem most likely goes WAY WAY back much further than you realize??? In the people I've worked with, (and the same holds true for any other hypnotherapists out there that are trained in modern techniques) almost ALL of these too-much behaviors go back to an age of somewhere between 3-5 years old!!!
Now I know what you're thinking... Impossible! You weren't drinking untill a few years ago when you lost your job... Well, here's the thing... EVERY moment that happens in our life is "recorded" so to speak in our subconscious mind... A "trigger" (what we refer to as an ISE or Initial Sensitizing Event) might happen when you are 3-5 years old (or even younger, but rarely older) but never "manifest" itself until much much later in life... Why? Simple... Because though it "sensitizes" you, it requires more "re-enforcement" before it causes a shift in your behavior...
Let me give you an example... A client comes in who has an absolute phobia of spiders... I don't mean they're SCARED of spiders... I mean they have a PHOBIA... When they see a spider they COMPLETELY lose control of themselves... They completely freak out... The have a panic attack, they have a hard time breathing, they can't function for a LONG time afterwards...
In the initial meeting in trying to understand the problem they tell me that a couple years back a friend of theirs was bitten by a brown-recluse spider... It really did a number on them and they still have a terrible scar to prove it... "THIS" was when it all started...
In hypnosis we age regress back to that time... Then we regress back again to an earlier time.. A time when the client was only 16... They were camping and had several spiders get into their sleeping bag and completley freak them out... We regress back further and find that when they were 10 their uncle told them a story about how his good friend was killed by a black widow... We regress again and we end up when the client was 2 1/2 years old... In this event his mother (it's always mom and dad you know?
Mom and Dad just happen to have a TREMENDOUS power over us... Anything they tell us is ranked with a very high priority...
So anyway... Moving on... While you THINK the problem is rooted in losing your job, most likely the ISE is MUCH MUCH earlier than that...
To "resolve" the behavior there's a wonderful technique called "Informed Child"... If you were in a session with me, I would regress you back to your ISE... At that point I would regress you back a little before that event... Let's take the above example... Earlier that day you're in your bedroom playing... We regress to that time... Now I bring the "adult" and "child" together and allow the adult to speak with the child... The "adult" tells the child EVERYTHING they need to know to not be "freaked out" and "scared" when their mother sees the spider... Who better to know exactly what the child needs to hear than you yourself!!!
Think of your subconscious mind like the rings of a tree... each year building outward... Each ring ONLY had the previous years "information" to go on... By doing informed child, it's kinda like building a "bridge" between the outtermost ring and all it's "information" and the earlier ring where that information wasn't available...
So NOW the child can go back THROUGH the event (re-live it so to speak) but this time have all the information to draw on that says that a reaction like that to a spider is ridiculous! Now when the child goes back through that event, instead of freaking out and getting terribly scared at their mother, they instead start to laugh because they realize just how silly it is!
Guess what happens next??? One of the most spectacular things you could ever imagine... All of a sudden the subconscious mind starts reorganizing itself.. All of the later events "collapse" and a completely new view is developed... It's a COMPLETE and TOTAL shift in personality and beliefs that takes place so quickly it's almost impossible to comprehend... You can literally see someone transform themselves right in front of you...
I've run on quite a while here, but as you obviously have a problem and you're looking to get help I wanted to make sure I explained it as fully as possible so that you'd understand that help IS available...
If you choose to seek the help of a hypnotherapist, here's a few things to look for...
1) Make sure you inquire into ALL of their training... The source of the training, how many hours of training they have, what forms that training took, and how many hours of continuing education they do each year...
2) Make sure they are a member of the NGH... The National Guild of Hypnotists is the oldest and most recognized guild out there... They enforce the best training requirments for membership, and also continuing education requirements...
3) Make SURE they do age regression... As I've described above, if they don't do age regression they can't get to the ISE... MOST hypnotists that aren't trained in age regression refuse to do it... There are too many "bad" things that can happen if you don't know what you're doing... As I've already shown, you can COMPLETELY change someones personality... That's not something someone who isn't trained is willing to do... It's kinda like... Someone can CALL themselves a doctor, but they probably won't be willing to do surgery on you unless they are trained because they wouldn't have the slightest clue what they were doing and know the ramifications of it...
4) I would STRONGLY suggest you seek a hypnotherapist that is trained in "5-PATH" hypnosis. 5-PATH (5 Phase Abreactive Theraputical Hypnosis) is uses age regression and the techniques (as well as many others) as described above to give you a complete "path" of healing... Usually it will only require 4 of the 5 stages... (The 5th stage is for managing certain secondary-gain issues that most people will not have)
5) Ask as many and any questions you want... A GOOD hypnotherapist understands the fears that can be associated with hypnosis and knows full well that the ONLY way to get you into the required level of trance for age regression (level 5) is by having all your fears of hypnosis resolved. They'll be willing to answer all your questions and give you as much information as you want.
6) A quick call to the NGH (www.ngh.net) and they'll be more than happy to provide a list of certified hypnotherapists in your area to work with you... They should even be able to tell you what type of training the hypnotherapist has and perhaps more importantly rather they are trained in 5-PATH or not...
If you have any other questions please feel free to PM me and I'll do my best to help out as much as I can...
Congrats, this is the longest post I've ever seen on a boating forum
I'd personal chime in on this persons drinking issue, but as soon as the poster said "they've been to AA and they know all the answers" . . . I write them off!
