How do you work around a control freak

[thefairlaneman]

My wife is teaching at a new school. A co worker in the class next door is a certified 100% control freak. She is trying to be the boss of her classes and my wifes classes at the same friggin time and driving the wife nuts. This control freak will even peak into my wifes class room and then barge in to decipline a student who isnt even in her class but the wifes. Crazy as hell. What do you do?

 

[JustJason]

Re: How do you work around a control freak

Depends... Is your wife bigger than the other lady? A little mental (but not physical) intimidation can go a long way.

Negative conversations must be had in private.

I would start with your wife pulling this other lady aside some day and laying down the law.
If the lady doesn't back off. Then have your wife document for a few weeks on a day by day/hour by hour basis of all the things this lady does, then have her bring it to her boss.

Complaints happen every day of the week in any workplace. But if your wife can back it up with dated detailed notes, then she can establish a pattern. And that's what she needs to do.

 

[4JawChuck]

Re: How do you work around a control freak

Lock the door.

If she asks why, then have the conversation.

 

[bruceb58]

Re: How do you work around a control freak

I think the moderator's wives need to chime in here!

OK...it's just a joke!

 

[thefairlaneman]

Re: How do you work around a control freak

Thanks. This is a good idea. It wont be hard to show examples of what this freak does....She is a classic case..I didnt mention shes been married and divorced 2 times.. I frikkin wonder why..lol Now that she has started trying to tell the wife how to do her job and having anger outburst she has crossed the line . Last week this freak disrupted the class to take away a kids cell phone that she saw through a window by peaking in. She should have been in her own classroom with her own students. . Its the wifes job to deal with a cell phone during her class not this freaks......My wife is easy going and very easy to get along with BUT if you put her back to the wall she will defend herself in very clear terms. I just hate to see her have to waste time and energy because of this freak. thanks for the advice .I will pass it on

 

[marlboro180]

Re: How do you work around a control freak

Who does your wife report to? The co-worker teacher or the principal or????

Thats who she needs to talk to.

Been there, done that.

 

[PeterMcG]

Re: How do you work around a control freak

Up to the present time, has your wife said anything to her??
I ask, because it might be that this woman is trying to be "helpful."

Your wife's frustration is completely understandable -- her coworker clearly has issues.
Maybe if your wife approached her with something along the following lines:

"While I appreciate your efforts to aid me in maintaining control of the classroom, I am afraid that it might be having a detrimental effect. Specifically, when another person comes into the classroom and takes discplinary action, it undercuts MY authority with the students.

I know you have more experience with this than I do, so if I encounter a situation that baffles me I would love your assistance and input, but I think it best that on a day to day basis, I should handle what goes on in my classroom."

<shrug>
Just a thought

 

[kenmyfam]

Re: How do you work around a control freak

In short I do not think you work around them. I have found that type of personality to feel basically "threatened" by the person they are demonstrating it to. They are somewhat insecure in what they do usually because of lack of experience, ability or both.
This scenario happens in many professions and has been seen many times by many of us.
Your wife has a few options that I see.

March in to the other teachers class and do a little yelling and screaming to the other teachers students, give the other teacher a nod and go back to her class.

Talk to her immediate supervisor about the situation.

Have a 1 on 1 with the other teacher stating that if she requires assistance she will ask for it. If it is not asked for then it is not needed.

Tell the other teacher to stop interfering. (nicely at first)

We have similar situations with some engineers. After some reasoning with no results we give them enough rope and they generally tie a noose for themselves with it. We assist at that point, no questions asked to help them out of the situation. It's amazing how they usually settle down after that.

 

[tashasdaddy]

Re: How do you work around a control freak

file an official detailed complaint. this teacher is not in her room doing her job, she is disruptive to the education of our children. she either straightens out, or replaced. a student, disrupting class would be dealt with, quickly.

 

[ezmobee]

Re: How do you work around a control freak

I had the same thing happen to me at a job. I had been hired to internal web development work at a health insurance company. I reported directly to the IT director. He was a super nice guy but was really busy so he didn't have a lot of time to really "supervise" me. An existing employee who did the external web development was supposed to mentor me and get me started. Well this guy was an a__hole and pretty much took it upon himself to be my boss. He would attend meeings that I should have been invited to and reported the details back to me (then was a jerk if I had any questions). He would even go as far as making sure I had reported my time off. Well obviously this was unacceptable and I told the IT director what was happening. He agreed it was inappropriate and promised to resolve the situation. Well he did nothing and I eventually couldn't take it anymore and found a new job. When I resigned, the IT director asked me if I was leaving because of things that were going on with the company (we'd been recently bought out). I said no, you know exactly why I'm quitting and he was like "oh yeah, right".

 

[tallcanadian]

Re: How do you work around a control freak

Some people don't like confrontation. Depending on your wife's personality, she should go that teacher and politely tell them to mind their own business. If that doesn't work then go to the next higher up and complain and keep doing so until something is done. If all else fails find her a subdominant fella and all will be happy. Kidding....just kidding! Good luck though. I know if it were me, I'd tell them right where to go.

 

[thefairlaneman]

Re: How do you work around a control freak

Thanks for the excellant advice. If the topic of this co worker comes up at home again I will ask the wife to read this entire thread because of the valuable insight it offers.

 

[tallcanadian]

Re: How do you work around a control freak

It's kind of a cross between bullying and controlling. Life is stressful enough without all this other chaos. I have no problem telling people where to go, if need be. Life is too short and full of stress. We don't need more. Good luck.

 

[aspeck]

Re: How do you work around a control freak

Its okay, FM, you can tell me to MMOB. I can take a hint.

 

[ezbtr]

Re: How do you work around a control freak

we have one here onsite that really annoys everyone, many complaints about him, since he started a year or so ago, but this week we pouring lots of deep concrete......

 

[Tacklewasher]

Re: How do you work around a control freak

Wait until there is a staff function that you attend (Christmas party or something) and when introduced to this teacher, just blurt out "Oh the @&^*&@@ that sticks her nose into your classroom"..

 

[JB]

Re: How do you work around a control freak

You complicate the problem by hanging labels on the other teacher. It tends to put her in a box. Countering aggression with aggression is sure to cause some very bad feelings.

What you are concerned with is aggression, behavior intruding on your wife's territory. The appropriate response is courteous assertion.

For example: "I appreciate your interest in helping me with my students behavior. I would like to have your suggestions so I can fill my role properly in maintaining discipline in my class."

 

[axeslinger1957]

Re: How do you work around a control freak

You complicate the problem by hanging labels on the other teacher. It tends to put her in a box. Countering aggression with aggression is sure to cause some very bad feelings.

Heed this warning, FB! Countering aggression with aggression in the education arena can easily result in administrative and/or union disciplinary action. Most uncool.

 

[j_martin]

Re: How do you work around a control freak

Next time she comes into the classroom interfering, scream at the top of your voice "$^*^*& off, That's my student and I'll whip him when I feel like it."

Double wammy, she'll think twice about coming in, and the student will wonder when it's his turn and behave."

my 02
John

 

[roscoe]

Re: How do you work around a control freak

You complicate the problem by hanging labels on the other teacher. It tends to put her in a box. Countering aggression with aggression is sure to cause some very bad feelings.

What you are concerned with is aggression, behavior intruding on your wife's territory. The appropriate response is courteous assertion.

For example: "I appreciate your interest in helping me with my students behavior. I would like to have your suggestions so I can fill my role properly in maintaining discipline in my class."

That really is funny. Obviously the situation has gone beyond this point.


Lock the door, for "security."
Hang a calendar or decoration over the window.

Report it to direct superior so it is on the record.