I don't want to be fodder for this forum...

[freelancer]

Re: I don't want to be fodder for this forum...

There must be no question that you are in charge of your vessel; your passengers and crew are placing their safety in your hands. Every one should have a job. Not every one helps on my boat during launch but they all do when we get back to port. Don't be afraid to take a time out from the fun, turn down the radio and tell your crew what you want them to do before docking not so much during docking, they will be better able to help if all on board are sure of their roles. And don?t forget the boat pole, it should be in some ones hands, not on the deck.

 

[Blue Crabber]

Re: I don't want to be fodder for this forum...

+2

My wife is a great first mate, and we're complimented constantly by people on how well we work together. We work well together because we communicate. I take great pains to explain what I plan to do before I do it, and I LISTEN to her when she has a different idea. She may not be as boat savvy as I am, but she's just as smart.

I've bneen married long enough to know that most women process information differently than men do, and in setting up the boat I try to anticipate areas of possible confusion. For example, when I tell her we'll (I use the word 'we' a lot, too) need to let out 50' of anchor rode, there's no question of 'how much' that is. My anchor lines are marked with colored zip ties- 2 yellows at 20 feet, a blue at 50, a blue and 2 yellows at 70, red at 100, etc. She 'got' the color scheme immediately.

Dock lines? I carry 2 25'ers and 4 15'ers aboard. The 25's are white triple strand, the 15's are gold and white double braided. Whether I call for 3-strand, double braid, white, gold... she knows what we need. Helps me, too-I can grab the right ones from the locker by feel alone.

The one area I wouldn't compromise on was in some terminology like port, starboard, bow, stern, etc. Took awhile, but there's never any question of what is where- doesn't matter which way you're facing- port is always port. I never have to say, "no, babe, your 'other right' "

Above all, show respect. We bought this boat together, and it should be fun for both of us- not just 'Captain Bligh'.

JoLin - Very well said and I couldn't agree more!!

Communication is key to an enjoyable outing!! I have learned this the hard way a couple of time until it sunk in. My wife enjoys boating and helping with it! She is learning more about the boat every time and why stuff is done a certain way, etc.

I also re-affirm when my wife does something correctly. Helps here to feel appreciated and builds here confidence up to do it again next time.

I love boating, but one of the main reasons is the quality time it gives us together.

 

[JMUDukes]

Re: I don't want to be fodder for this forum...

I never thought about boating being an opportunity to improve one's marriage...

 

[Mike250]

Re: I don't want to be fodder for this forum...

Hasn't improved my marrage yet. Maybe I'll take her with me next time...

 

[Joseph10]

Re: I don't want to be fodder for this forum...

I have some advise that I think everyone in this forum would say is correct. The only person you can trust (i.e. not have to double check) is a buddy that owns a boat and is an experienced boater himself.

Otherwise, double check everything, or at some point, you will be facing some sort of mishap.